What is Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction is a contemplative practice in which one person (the director) listens with another person (the directee) to help them deepen their relationship with the divine and discern the movement of God in their daily life. The person seeking direction shares stories of their encounters of the divine, or how they are cultivating a life attuned to spiritual things. The director listens and asks questions to assist the directee in their process of reflection and spiritual growth. Spiritual direction focuses on religious experience. It is concerned with a person’s actual experience of a relationship with God.
Unlike counseling, mentoring, or teaching, spiritual direction is not prescriptive or goal-oriented in the conventional sense. The human spiritual director does not “direct” in the sense of giving advice and solving problems. Rather, the director helps a person respond to God’s invitation to a deeper relationship. The practice rests on the belief that God is the true director, while the human companion acts as a facilitator of awareness and discernment.
Origins & Lineage
Historians of philosophy like Ilsetraut and Pierre Hadot have argued that spiritual direction was already practiced and recommended by the main schools of philosophy, as well as by physicians like Galen, as part of spiritual practices in Ancient Greece and Rome. Socrates can be considered as the ideal of spiritual director among his followers, but Plato also guided his students with personal advice and comfort through their learning process. Other examples can be found in Cynics, Epicureans—who used epistolary form for this purpose (e.g., Metrodorus)— or Stoics —like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Musonius Rufus or Epictetus in his Discourses—who actively practiced spiritual direction.
Within Christianity, spiritual direction has its roots in early Christianity. The gospels describe Jesus serving as a mentor to his disciples. Additionally, Acts of the Apostles chapter 9 describes Ananias helping Paul of Tarsus to grow in his newfound experience of Christianity. Christian spiritual direction was established by the desert fathers and mothers of the 3rd and 4th centuries. Then, in the centuries following, monks in monasteries developed this ministry further.
Theologian John Cassian, who lived in the 4th century, provided some of the earliest recorded guidelines on the Christian practice of spiritual direction. He introduced mentoring in the monasteries. Each novice was put under the care of an older monk. Benedict of Nursia integrated Cassian’s guidelines into what is now known as the Rule of Saint Benedict. Famous Saints in the Orthodox and Roman Catholic tradition e.g. St Teresa of Avila, St John of the Cross, St Seraphim, St Ignatius of Loyola, regularly saw spiritual directors and were themselves spiritual directors to others, leaving writings of letters of spiritual guidance still read today.
The Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola are a popular example of guidelines used for spiritual direction. The practice continued through monastic orders for centuries and, until the mid-20th century, was primarily available to priests, religious, and monastics.
How It’s Practiced
At the first visit, the two of you will likely spend some time getting to know one another. After the initial “meet and greet,” the spiritual director will begin the session in his or her own way. I like to invite a time of silence, asking the directee to “take as much or as little silence as you need and begin when you are ready.” Sessions are usually one hour long, once a month.
A typical session can involve silence, prayer, talking, perhaps reading Scripture, and it is always about you and what you want to discuss. The role of the director is to compassionately listen to you and notice where the Spirit may be prompting them to direct the conversation. We often call this paying attention to the ‘shimmer’ of the Holy Spirit. The director will ask questions that will offer extended space of intentional reflection and prayerful connection to God, questions that may aid in discernment if necessary, and questions that will facilitate attunement to God.
Throughout the conversation, you might observe long pauses between responses from a directee and follow-up comments, statements, or invitations from the director. There will likely be “beats” of between five and thirty seconds of unadulterated quiet, where you might observe some light shifting. And while the pacing might be spacious in the conversation, you might also observe longer silences of a minute or more. A session of spiritual direction is marked by a slow, spacious rhythm.
On retreat, the practice intensifies. If the directee is on a retreat (lasting a weekend, a week or even 40 days), they will generally meet with their director on a daily basis for one hour. During these daily meetings, exercises or spiritual disciplines such as lectio divina are given to the directee as sustenance to further their spiritual growth.
Spiritual Direction Today
This ancient practice of spiritual direction—dating back to the 3rd century Desert Fathers and Mothers—seems rather new to some. That’s because before the 1950’s, about the only people receiving spiritual direction were Catholic priests, nuns and monks—and usually it was with elders from their communities. It’s just that in the mid-20th century it all began to change. The field of psychology exploded and with it the related field of pastoral counseling. While therapy and pastoral counseling are quite different from spiritual direction, the important role they played in church life and teaching cultivated an atmosphere where spiritual direction became more widely available.
Training programs preparing people to become spiritual directors sprang up, like the Mercy Center in Burlingame, CA, Shalem Institute in Washington, DC, and the Diploma in the Art of Spiritual Direction at San Francisco Theological Seminary in San Anselmo, CA. Alongside this new growth in training programs came Spiritual Directors International (SDI), an organization bringing spiritual directors together for conferences and networking as well as a clearinghouse for information about spiritual direction and how to find a spiritual director. Today, numerous certification programs exist at seminaries, retreat centers, and institutes, typically lasting two years and involving supervised practice, theological study, and personal spiritual direction.
Spiritual direction has been a part of the Catholic and Anglican traditions for many centuries, but is now coming into more widespread, ecumenical use. Seekers today encounter spiritual direction through individual referrals, retreat centers, directories maintained by Spiritual Directors International, seminary programs, and increasingly through virtual platforms.
Common Misconceptions
Spiritual direction is not therapy or counseling. A therapist will help you explore your thoughts, emotions, family-of-origin influences, and other mental health challenges so that you can transform the emotional pain you bear and not transmit it to others. Our spirituality can be a strength to be used in the course of therapy, but is not therapy’s objective: this is the main difference between therapy and spiritual direction. Spiritual directors are not trained or equipped to work with your personal problems in a goal-oriented or “fixing” mode.
It is not discipleship or teaching. Discipleship usually follows a program of lessons from the Bible on becoming more like Jesus. Spiritual direction does not follow a curriculum–it is customized to the person seeking God’s presence and guidance.
It is not particularly directive. Ironically, spiritual direction is not directive. It’s not advice-giving, teaching, or trying to get people to believe and do the right things. Instead, it’s collaborative, empathetic, and prayerful. The director asks more than tells, and trusts the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation.
It is not confession. While spiritual direction may touch on matters of conscience and moral discernment, it differs from the sacrament of reconciliation in purpose and structure. Confidentiality in spiritual direction is maintained except where mandated reporting applies.
It does not require perfect faith or church membership. Many directors work with people at different points on their spiritual path. You don’t need to belong to a specific denomination or church community to begin. What matters most is a sincere desire to reflect on your relationship with God.
How to Begin
Read foundational texts. William A. Barry & William J. Connolly, The Practice of Spiritual Direction. Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction. Kenneth Leech, Soul Friend: An Invitation to Spiritual Direction. Thomas Merton’s Spiritual Direction and Meditation provides a concise theological grounding.
Find a spiritual director. For information on how to find a spiritual director, go to Spiritual Directors International. Many retreat centers, monasteries, and seminary programs maintain directories of trained directors. Please be discerning as you choose a director. Your first time together should be more of an interview than a session for direction, with both directee and director listening to see if they are a good fit for one another.
Try a retreat. Many retreat centers offer one-time spiritual direction as part of silent retreats, allowing you to experience the practice before committing to ongoing sessions.
Consider group spiritual direction. Spiritual direction in groups can also be a very powerful experience. For spiritual direction work in groups, I recommend the Shalem method, developed by Rose Mary Dougherty.
Commit to regular practice. Most directors recommend monthly hour-long sessions to allow time for integration and attentiveness between meetings. Some begin with two to three sessions to discern compatibility before continuing.