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Inspiration

Kirtan and Attention: How Chanting Redirectsthe Mind from Habitual Patterns

Krishna Das
Krishna Das
Apr 16, 2026
11 min read

TLDR: In a 2023 satsang workshop in NYC, Krishna Das teaches that kirtan—devotional chanting—works by gradually pulling attention away from the external world and the recurring thought patterns that dominate human consciousness. He argues that most people live on autopilot, governed by mental programs installed in childhood that go unquestioned throughout life. Through the repetition of sacred names and communal singing, practitioners can loosen these habitual identifications and begin to see who they actually are underneath the stories they tell themselves. The key is not to chase experiences or manipulate emotions, but simply to pay attention to what is happening in the moment. Krishna Das also shares stories from his time in India—including an encounter at the Kumbh Mela with a 163-year-old yogi—to illustrate that spiritual reality exists beyond the materialist worldview most Westerners inhabit.

Read · 10 sections

What Happens to Our Attention When We Chant?

Krishna Das opens the workshop by establishing what he calls "the very least" benefit of chanting: our attention is slowly, little by little, pulled away from the outside world and our thoughts. This is not a small thing. For most people, most of life is spent with attention lost in external circumstances and the internal narrative that interprets them. We live in a story we inherited—the beliefs about ourselves, the programs installed in us as young children—and that story "pretty much goes unchallenged our whole lives."

The default human condition, as Krishna Das describes it, is grimly linear: "We get born, go to high school, drink some beer, and die. That's it." He notes that for most people in the world, this is the reality, either because they are born in places without access to spiritual practice, or because they lack the time and safety to pursue it. The fact that listeners find themselves at a satsang, attempting to do something to help themselves, is itself remarkable—a fortunate accident of circumstance.

This reframing is important: chanting is not about achieving transcendence or bliss. It is about redirecting attention, which has been colonized by habit and external stimuli, back toward the present moment. The mechanism is simple but profound. As attention turns toward the mantra, toward the sound, toward the names being chanted, it naturally withdraws from the mental loops that usually occupy it.

Why Beliefs About Ourselves Go Unchallenged?

Krishna Das identifies a core problem: the mental programs and beliefs that formed us in childhood persist unchallenged throughout our lives. We wake up feeling a certain way—depressed, anxious, unworthy—and we believe it absolutely. "We really believe that," he says. The belief feels like truth because it has the weight of repetition and familiarity.

Part of why we don't challenge these beliefs is that we have no model for doing so. Krishna Das speaks from his own experience: "Nobody in my life growing up ever did anything about their states of mind." Without witnessing anyone else work with their mental patterns, where would the understanding come from? It doesn't come easily. It requires confronting the sticky, scary territory of one's own unexamined mind.

This is also why many people resist spiritual practice. "Who wants to deal with their stuff? Nobody," Krishna Das says. The prospect of actually looking at one's conditioned mind is unappealing. It is easier to stay numb, to watch television, to let the old programs run. But this passivity has a cost: the continuation of suffering that could be addressed.

The Role of Expectation in Blocking Real Practice

Krishna Das introduces a crucial paradox: the very expectations we bring to practice—the hope that meditation or chanting will feel a certain way, that it will produce an experience of peace or love—are what block us from actually practicing. When we sit down to chant or meditate, we often want to feel better, to manipulate ourselves into a transcendent state. This desire itself becomes an obstacle.

"Your job is to pay attention to what you're doing," he says bluntly. "Not to try to have some kind of experience. Not to all of a sudden manipulate yourself to trick yourself into feeling good or feeling loved." The paradox is that genuine transformation comes not from chasing experiences, but from showing up and paying attention to what actually is.

He gives an example to illustrate this: a meditator who has been sitting for three years and still feels unhappy might think they are failing. But Krishna Das offers a reframe: "I've been meditating for 3 years. I still feel like [shit]. That's good. That means you're paying attention." Paying attention to what is—without judgment, without trying to change it—is the actual work. The feelings will change, but only when we stop demanding that they change and instead simply observe them.

How Did Krishna Das Come to Kirtan Practice?

Krishna Das shares a turning point in his own spiritual journey. At one time, he realized something crucial: "If I did not sing with people, I would never be able to clean out the dark shadows of my own heart." He was being "pushed around" by his own unexamined material—fear, shame, trauma—like a shadow he couldn't quite see. Chanting with others became the method for bringing light to that shadow.

This is why kirtan had to be communal for him. Singing alone would not have worked. There is something about being in a group, singing sacred names together, that creates the container for this internal work to happen. The repetition, combined with the presence of others and the emotional charge of devotion, creates conditions where the habitual defenses loosen and transformation becomes possible.

What Is the Purpose of Repetition and the Divine Names?

Krishna Das references his guru, Maharaji (Neem Karoli Baba), who taught that "through the repetition of the name, which is the chanting we do, [the names] of what they call God"—there is a transformative power. In India, there are a million names for God. The names are not abstract; they appear everywhere in daily life. You pass "Shri Bhagavan Insurance Company," "Durga Travels," "Saraswati Cleaning Service." The names are woven into the fabric of culture.

But for practitioners in the West, these names are usually foreign. They are read about but not felt as real. Krishna Das notes: "Most of those, we don't believe there's a Krishna or Rama or Hanuman or Shiva, Kali. We read about that stuff, but it's just stuff for us." The obstacle is not the practice itself, but our underlying disbelief.

Yet the practice works regardless. The repetition of the name—whether or not we intellectually believe in the deity—begins to do work on the subtle level. The sound form carries a vibration that, when engaged with attention and repetition, softens the hardened mental patterns. This is not magic or superstition; it is a function of attention itself. What we repeat becomes part of our consciousness.

The Story of Devaraha Baba and Spiritual Reality

Krishna Das tells a story from 1989, when he was at the Kumbh Mela in Allahabad, India. The Kumbh Mela is a festival that occurs on a 12-year cycle based on astrological alignment. This particular Mela was the first in 144 years with a certain astrological configuration—it drew approximately 30 million people and became, for several weeks, the largest city in India.

During this time, Krishna Das was living in a tent camp with a yogi who was 163 years old. The yogi claimed to be visiting his guru-brother, a spiritual master named Devaraha Baba, who was over 250 years old and had lived in the same area for centuries. Everyone knew him; it was no mystery. When the younger yogi returned from his visit, he reported that Devaraha Baba had told him: "Sri Krishna came to me and asked me to come play with him in Vrindavan. So, I'm going to go." A couple of weeks later, the Baba left his body.

Krishna Das tells this story not as metaphor but as fact. Years later, in America, he saw the National Enquirer featuring this Baba on the front page, headlined "World's Oldest Man." The story illustrates a world that still exists—the spiritual India—that most Westerners never glimpse. It exists not as folklore but as lived reality for those embedded in that culture. This context helps explain why the practices Krishna Das teaches—ones rooted in Indian spiritual traditions—are not merely psychological techniques but expressions of a living reality that transcends the materialist worldview.

What Does It Mean to Know Who You Are?

Krishna Das emphasizes a foundational teaching: "What we don't know, and what we have to know, is who the [hell] we are. That's the first thing." When you look in the mirror, you see a whole storyline—narratives about your worth, your capabilities, your place in the world. "Inside that story line is who we are," but the storyline is not who we are. It is a constructed identity, a set of programs running on autopilot.

The beginning of practice, then, is simply recognizing this gap. There is a difference between the awareness that observes the story and the story itself. Most people collapse these two; they identify completely with the narrative. The first step is to loosen that identification, even slightly.

This is why he is skeptical of spiritual bypassing—the attempt to feel loved or connected before doing the work of actually seeing what is. A Tibetan lama named Toko Sherab shared with Krishna Das that despite decades of spiritual practice devoted to Tara, the goddess who embodies compassion, he still struggled to believe that Tara loved him. The belief in being loved or supported had to be earned through practice, through repeated exposure to the teachings, through showing up over and over. There is no shortcut.

How Do We Loosen Habitual Identifications?

Krishna Das describes the core work this way: "Somehow we have to loosen up these habitual identifications that we have with our stuff." The problem is that we believe our thoughts and feelings so deeply and so unquestioningly. When a negative feeling arises, we say "I'm depressed today," and we believe it with our whole being. We forget that the feeling is temporary, that there is a part of us that can observe the feeling without being consumed by it.

The repetition of sacred names—chanting—is one tool for creating distance from these identifications. As attention is pulled toward the mantra, it naturally withdraws from the story. Over time, this repeated withdrawal weakens the grip of the story. The mental patterns do not disappear immediately, but they lose their absolute authority.

This requires patience and gentleness. It also requires showing up with others. Communal practice amplifies the effect because you are not alone in your effort. The presence of others, the combined intention, the shared breath—these create a field that supports loosening what might otherwise feel too sticky to move.

Why Spiritual Practice Is Necessary, Not Optional

Krishna Das poses a direct question: "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life [messed] up? Really? You can if you want to. I mean, nobody's going to stop you. But, why?" The implication is that most people do not realize they have a choice. They assume their mental and emotional state is fixed, given, unchangeable. But it is not.

The opportunity offered by spiritual practice—whether through kirtan, meditation, or other means—is the chance to "live fully," as he says. This does not mean achieving perpetual happiness. It means waking up to what is actually here, cleaning out the conditioned patterns that block clear seeing, and responding to life from a place of greater freedom.

For those fortunate enough to have access to dharma, to teachings and practices that address the root causes of suffering, there is an obligation to use them. Most people in the world do not have this access. The fact that you are reading this, that you have found a teacher and a practice, is itself a stroke of grace. The question then becomes: what will you do with it?

Where to Go From Here

The next step is not to gain more intellectual understanding but to practice. If kirtan resonates with you, seek out a group or teacher. Listen to recordings. Begin to chant the names—Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Hari—and notice what happens to your attention. Pay attention to what arises, without trying to change it. If meditation is your path, sit regularly and practice. If service or study draws you, pursue that.

The key is to begin loosening the grip of habitual identification by showing up repeatedly. The practice does not need to feel good; in fact, the expectation that it will feel good is often what blocks it. Simply pay attention. Over time, the mental patterns that have governed your life will begin to shift, not through force but through the gentle, persistent withdrawal of attention from their gravitational field and its redirection toward what is actually here.

Transcript

[1:58] I see that.

[2:07] You can have that one.

[2:08] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:37] They're changing.

[4:52] >> Hare

[4:54] Krishna

[4:56] Hare

[4:58] Krishna

[5:00] Krishna

[5:03] Krishna

[5:05] Hare

[5:08] Hare

[5:27] Hare

[5:29] Krishna

[5:32] Hare

[5:34] Krishna

[5:36] Krishna

[5:38] Krishna

[5:41] Hare

[5:44] Hare

[6:03] >> Hare

[6:05] Krishna

[6:07] Hare

[6:10] Krishna

[6:12] Krishna

[6:16] Hare

[6:19] Hare

[6:39] Hare

[6:41] Krishna

[6:43] Hare

[6:45] Krishna

[6:48] Krishna

[6:52] Hare

[6:54] Hare

[7:14] Hare

[7:16] Krishna

[7:19] Hare

[7:21] Krishna

[7:23] Krishna

[7:28] Hare

[7:30] Hare

[7:50] >> Hare

[7:52] Krishna

[7:54] Hare

[7:56] Krishna

[7:59] Krishna Krishna

[8:03] Hare

[8:26] Hare

[8:28] Krishna

[8:30] Hare

[8:32] Krishna

[8:34] Krishna Krishna

[8:39] Hare

[9:01] Hare

[9:03] Krishna

[9:06] Hare

[9:08] Krishna

[9:10] Krishna Krishna

[9:14] Hare

[9:36] Hare

[9:39] Krishna

[9:41] Hare

[9:43] Krishna

[9:45] Krishna

[9:50] Hare

[9:52] Hare

[10:12] Hare

[10:16] Hare

[10:19] Krishna

[10:21] Krishna

[10:25] Hare

[10:27] Hare

[10:48] Hare

[10:50] Krishna

[10:52] Hare

[10:54] Krishna

[10:56] Krishna

[11:01] Hare

[11:03] Hare

[11:23] Hare

[11:25] Krishna

[11:27] Hare

[11:29] Krishna

[11:32] Krishna

[11:58] Hare

[11:59] Krishna

[12:01] Hare

[12:03] Krishna

[12:09] Hare

[12:11] Hare

[12:27] Hare

[12:28] Krishna

[12:30] Hare

[12:32] Krishna

[12:37] Hare

[12:39] Hare

[12:55] Hare

[12:58] Hare

[13:05] Hare

[13:07] Hare

[13:22] Hare

[13:24] Krishna

[13:26] Hare

[13:27] Krishna

[13:29] Hare

[13:50] Hare

[13:51] Krishna

[13:53] Hare

[13:55] Krishna

[14:17] Hare

[14:18] Krishna

[14:20] Hare

[14:44] Hare

[14:45] Krishna

[14:47] Hare

[14:49] Krishna

[15:10] Hare

[15:20] Hare

[15:37] Hare

[15:39] Krishna

[15:40] Hare

[15:42] Krishna

[15:44] Krishna

[15:47] Hare

[16:04] Hare

[16:05] Krishna

[16:07] Hare

[16:10] Krishna

[16:14] Hare

[16:30] Hare

[16:32] Krishna

[16:33] Hare

[16:37] Krishna

[16:40] Hare

[16:56] Hare

[16:58] Krishna

[17:00] Hare

[17:03] Krishna

[17:06] Hare

[17:25] >> Hare

[17:27] Krishna

[17:29] Hare

[17:31] Krishna

[17:34] Krishna

[17:35] Krishna

[17:38] Hare

[17:42] Hare

[18:45] Now it's time for the band.

[18:50] So,

[18:53] at the very least,

[18:56] which is not little,

[18:59] when we chant,

[19:01] our attention is slowly, little by

[19:03] little,

[19:04] pulled away from the outside world and

[19:07] our thoughts. Shammi, you want your

[19:08] blanket? You want to use it?

[19:27] >> Because most of the time, most of our

[19:28] life is spent

[19:31] with our attention lost in outside

[19:34] stuff.

[19:35] The external world, the supposed

[19:37] external world.

[19:40] But there is one or not.

[19:42] That's a whole other story.

[19:44] It looks like there is.

[19:52] And those thoughts and stories that we

[19:54] tell ourselves

[19:55] all life long, the stuff we believe

[19:57] about ourselves,

[20:00] it pretty much goes unchallenged our

[20:02] whole lives.

[20:07] The programs that were

[20:10] put into us as young kids, just keep

[20:13] going on.

[20:16] And if we don't do something

[20:18] to change that,

[20:22] we don't do something to change that.

[20:27] We get born,

[20:30] go to high school,

[20:32] drink some beer,

[20:34] and die.

[20:37] That's it.

[20:38] And that's what it's like for most

[20:39] people in this world,

[20:41] unfortunately.

[20:45] Either they're born in places where

[20:46] there is no

[20:48] dharma, no spiritual stuff,

[20:51] or they're born in a situation where

[20:53] they don't have time or

[20:56] safety to practice.

[20:59] But here we are.

[21:01] We don't even know how we got here, but

[21:03] here we are.

[21:06] Trying to do something to help

[21:07] ourselves.

[21:13] I thought of a little story while we

[21:14] were singing, you know, when I in 1989

[21:18] I was in Allahabad in India

[21:21] at a place called the Prayag

[21:24] where

[21:25] there was a Kumbh Mela.

[21:28] A Kumbh Mela is

[21:30] every year there's a Mela. Mela means a

[21:32] festival.

[21:36] And every 3 years there's a quarter

[21:38] Mela, every 6 years there's a half Mela,

[21:41] every 12 years there's a full

[21:44] Mela. It's a 12-year cycle of

[21:47] astrological stuff. Shut up.

[21:51] Nothing. Just talking to a friend.

[21:56] Um

[21:57] So this one was the 12th 12th.

[22:00] These stars this this astrological thing

[22:03] hadn't been in that position for 144

[22:05] years.

[22:06] So this was big time.

[22:09] There were like maybe 30 million people.

[22:12] Became the biggest city in India for

[22:14] about 2 weeks.

[22:16] Goes on for a month, but two main weeks.

[22:20] So I was living in in a camp a little

[22:23] camp of tents

[22:26] with a with a a Yogi who was 163 years

[22:29] old.

[22:32] Uh

[22:32] really, he was.

[22:34] You don't believe me?

[22:37] He was. I remember once he looked at us

[22:39] and said,

[22:40] "You're from America?

[22:42] Huh. You remember when Lincoln was

[22:43] shot?"

[22:46] Oh, no. Yeah. We we read about it in the

[22:48] papers, he said.

[22:50] And the guy had been living in the same

[22:52] area. Everybody knew him. He was 163.

[22:56] And one day

[22:58] he said he was going to visit his elder

[23:01] guru brother

[23:03] who was 250-something years old.

[23:07] And his name was Devaraha Baba.

[23:09] It's a Devaraha is a county in

[23:12] Uttar Pradesh.

[23:14] And this Baba had been living there

[23:16] for hundreds of years.

[23:18] He was your grandfather's grandfather's

[23:20] grandfather's grandfather's

[23:21] grandfather's grandfather's guru.

[23:23] Everybody knew him. It was no mystery.

[23:26] And the funny thing is

[23:27] after 2 and 1/2 years, I came back to

[23:29] the States and

[23:31] I went to my mother's house and in the

[23:32] morning I woke up and I went to the A&P

[23:35] to get some Cheerios.

[23:38] Maybe it was Wheaties at that time.

[23:42] And as I'm checking out, I look over and

[23:44] the National Enquirer was in the rack,

[23:46] you know?

[23:47] And on the front page, it said, "World's

[23:50] Oldest Man." And a picture of this Baba.

[23:54] "Really?" I went.

[23:58] So, the younger Baba, the 163-year-old

[24:02] guy,

[24:03] goes to visit the older guy.

[24:06] And he comes back and he said, "Oh, we

[24:08] had a nice time.

[24:10] He told me that Sri Krishna came to him

[24:12] and asked him to come play with him in

[24:13] Vrindavan.

[24:15] So, he's going to go."

[24:17] Couple of weeks later,

[24:19] he left the body.

[24:26] Krishna came and asked him to come play.

[24:28] So, he said, "Okay."

[24:30] And he left the body and went to

[24:31] Vrindavan to play.

[24:35] India is another world.

[24:39] And it still exists. The spiritual India

[24:41] is still there. It's not easy to find,

[24:45] but it's still there.

[24:49] So,

[24:50] I just read this thing that a friend of

[24:51] mine wrote. His name is Toko Sherab.

[24:54] He's a Tibetan lama.

[24:56] A

[24:58] Canadian Tibetan llama.

[25:02] And he said, you know, he'd been doing

[25:03] these practices for so many years

[25:06] to Tara, the goddess Tara.

[25:09] And

[25:11] the quality of Tara's that she she loves

[25:14] everyone. She's here to save everyone

[25:16] from suffering.

[25:18] He said, "But I've been doing these

[25:19] practices,

[25:20] but it's been so hard for me to actually

[25:22] believe

[25:24] that Tara loves me."

[25:28] So,

[25:29] I just started thinking about that.

[25:41] I don't know. Most of those, we don't

[25:43] believe there's a Krishna or Rama

[25:46] or Hanuman or

[25:48] Shiva, Kali.

[25:51] We read about that stuff,

[25:53] but it's just stuff for us.

[25:56] What we don't know, and what we have to

[25:58] know, is who the [ __ ] we are.

[26:01] That's the first thing.

[26:04] That's what we have. When we look in the

[26:06] mirror,

[26:07] there's a whole story line that we see.

[26:11] Inside that story line is who we are.

[26:18] So, it doesn't really work for us to try

[26:19] to manipulate ourselves into one kind of

[26:22] experience or not.

[26:24] When we're practicing or when we're

[26:25] singing or meditating,

[26:28] that's not your job.

[26:30] Your job is to pay attention

[26:32] to what you're doing.

[26:34] Not to try to have some kind of

[26:35] experience.

[26:38] Not to all of a sudden manipulate

[26:39] yourself to

[26:40] trick yourself into feeling good or

[26:42] feeling loved or feeling all that.

[26:45] That's not the way it works.

[26:48] All we have to do is pay attention

[26:51] to what we're doing.

[26:53] Which is very hard.

[26:56] And you don't notice that until you try

[26:58] to do it.

[27:06] And

[27:07] the expectations we have about what

[27:10] we're doing, like when we sit down to

[27:11] meditate or chant or something,

[27:14] that's that's what stops us from really

[27:17] getting it together.

[27:19] It never feels uh

[27:20] I've been meditating for 3 years. I

[27:22] still feel like [ __ ]

[27:25] That's good. That means you're paying

[27:26] attention.

[27:42] Somehow we have to loosen up this

[27:45] these habitual

[27:47] identifications that we have

[27:50] with our stuff.

[27:53] The problem is we it's we believe it all

[27:56] so deeply and so

[28:00] unquestioningly.

[28:01] We wake up and you don't feel good. I'm

[28:03] depressed today.

[28:05] And we really believe that.

[28:07] We feel

[28:09] bad.

[28:10] And we believe that.

[28:14] When I started chanting with people, it

[28:15] was because I had this

[28:19] epiphany

[28:20] that if I did not sing with people,

[28:23] I would never be able to

[28:27] clean out the dark shadows of my own

[28:29] heart.

[28:32] And the I the understanding was this

[28:33] stuff was pushing me around like a

[28:35] shadow. You can't see it.

[28:40] But the only way to do that for me was

[28:41] to start chanting.

[28:47] And it had to be with people.

[28:52] So, here we are.

[29:08] I mean, do you really want to spend the

[29:09] rest of your life

[29:11] [ __ ] up?

[29:15] Really?

[29:18] You can if you want to. I mean, nobody's

[29:20] going to stop you.

[29:22] But, why?

[29:27] Part of the reason why is we don't

[29:28] really believe there's anything we can

[29:30] really do about it.

[29:32] That's That's the unfortunate reality.

[29:36] Because nobody in my life growing up

[29:38] ever did anything about them their their

[29:40] states of mind.

[29:43] Right?

[29:45] So, where was that understanding going

[29:47] to come from?

[29:50] Or where does it come from for us, you

[29:51] know?

[29:53] It doesn't come easy.

[29:56] Cuz it's so sticky in there. It's scary,

[29:59] too.

[30:00] Who wants to deal with their stuff?

[30:03] Nobody.

[30:10] This is fun.

[30:13] It gets you all so depressed. You run

[30:15] out of here screaming, there won't be

[30:16] anybody here tonight.

[30:20] I'm going to go home and watch TV.

[30:29] Maharaji said,

[30:30] "Through the repetition of the name,

[30:32] which is the chanting we do, name the

[30:35] names of what they call God."

[30:37] In India, there's a million names for

[30:39] God. You walk down the street, there's

[30:40] Shri Bhagavan Insurance Company.

[30:44] Durga Travels.

[30:46] you know

[30:47] Saraswati Cleaning Service, you know,

[30:49] everywhere you go there's God.

[30:55] Through the repetition of the name,

[30:57] everything is accomplished.

[31:03] And he knows what everything is.

[31:06] And that's what he said.

[31:09] So

[31:11] wow

[31:13] that's like you know

[31:15] the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

[31:19] This stuff works, he says it does. He

[31:21] says everything will be accomplished

[31:24] through the repetition of these names.

[31:27] Do you believe it?

[31:29] No. Do I believe it?

[31:33] If I really believed that, I'd just be

[31:35] sitting at home going ram ram ram ram

[31:36] ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram. I

[31:38] wouldn't even eat.

[31:40] Certainly wouldn't be watching TV.

[31:44] To the extent we believe that our

[31:47] actions can have a good effect on our

[31:49] lives, that's how much we'll make an

[31:51] effort.

[31:52] But we hardly believe it, and so we

[31:54] hardly make an effort.

[31:57] Meditate for 5 minutes a day, 10 minutes

[31:59] a day, every other week.

[32:02] And we think we're really a yogi, yeah.

[32:05] Do a couple of asanas and you think

[32:07] you're the king of yogis.

[32:12] But to change the way we go through our

[32:14] lives is a really big thing.

[32:17] And

[32:18] like I told you

[32:20] I had that epiphany

[32:22] that the only way for me to change

[32:27] my inner

[32:28] reality

[32:30] would be to chant with people.

[32:38] It took me a while to get with the

[32:39] program.

[32:42] I called Dharmas first, but they didn't

[32:44] want me to come.

[32:46] Eva said, "Well, I'll talk to Dharma

[32:48] next."

[32:49] So, I called Jivamukti and they said,

[32:51] "Yeah, come on down.

[32:54] Come on Monday, okay?"

[32:56] So, I went on Monday. There were 10

[32:57] people there. They had the teacher

[32:59] trainees every Monday.

[33:01] David and Sharon, they would read, do

[33:03] some readings, and take Q&A.

[33:08] I would sing for about 15-20 minutes.

[33:11] That went on for a few months.

[33:14] And then I showed up and they weren't

[33:15] there. They went to India.

[33:18] And they were gone like 3 months.

[33:21] So, I sang for like 3 hours.

[33:25] Then after 3 months,

[33:27] I came and their pillows were there.

[33:29] They showed up. Oh, hi, how are you

[33:30] doing? Yeah, good. Okay. So, I started

[33:32] singing.

[33:33] An hour later, I went, "Oh, [ __ ]

[33:36] They're here."

[33:38] And I looked over and I went like

[33:41] and they just went

[33:43] So, Mondays became my night.

[33:46] They stopped coming.

[33:50] They stayed home and watched TV.

[33:54] And it just happened.

[33:56] Just happened.

[33:57] It was no agenda.

[34:04] Doing practices like planting seeds.

[34:06] Every repetition of the name is a seed.

[34:09] Every time the mind comes back or your

[34:11] awareness comes back from

[34:14] dreamland, that's a seed, too.

[34:18] If we plant seeds, those seeds will

[34:20] grow.

[34:21] If we don't plant them, then who's going

[34:23] to grow?

[34:25] Unfortunately, it's very simple.

[34:27] It's not easy,

[34:29] but it's simple.

[34:37] >> You know, we're used to like 15,000

[34:39] channels on television.

[34:41] But sitting down

[34:44] and trying to pay attention

[34:46] is not easy.

[35:16] Each one of us has to find out what

[35:17] works for us.

[35:19] Really, nobody can tell you.

[35:22] Maharaji never told me to to go forth

[35:25] and multiply.

[35:29] He never told me to go chant with

[35:30] people.

[35:32] I

[35:33] I wanted to do that. We had chanted with

[35:35] him, to him, for him.

[35:39] But life got in the way

[35:41] and I never did it.

[35:44] And it wasn't until like 21 years after

[35:46] he died that I started singing with

[35:48] people.

[35:51] Stubborn.

[35:53] I was so angry and hurt

[35:55] pissed off that he left me.

[35:57] I wouldn't do anything.

[36:02] I had to get over that.

[36:06] So,

[36:07] but he left it to me to find out what I

[36:09] wanted to do.

[36:13] Last time I saw him

[36:16] so far

[36:19] I was trying I I was going to leave that

[36:21] day for for Delhi to get on a plane back

[36:24] to America after 2 and 1/2 years

[36:27] in India walking around barefoot in a

[36:28] red dress.

[36:31] I think this is not going to work in New

[36:32] York.

[36:34] What will I do in America? Well, maybe I

[36:36] should ask him. No, don't you ask him.

[36:38] What's wrong with you? You should have

[36:39] faith. Faith my ass. I'm going back to

[36:41] America.

[36:43] So, I'm sitting there right in front of

[36:44] him arguing with myself, right?

[36:47] But finally I blurted out,

[36:49] "Baba,

[36:50] how can I serve you in America?"

[36:53] He looked like he bit a pickle.

[36:58] He says, "Ask me about service. It's not

[37:00] service.

[37:02] Just do what you want."

[37:05] Now,

[37:06] I had been celibate

[37:08] for 2 and 1/2 years

[37:11] during prime time, ages of 23 to 26.

[37:16] I knew what I wanted to do.

[37:19] And he knew what I wanted to do.

[37:21] That was the thing.

[37:23] So, I just went,

[37:25] my mind literally stopped.

[37:28] And he laughed. He

[37:30] laughed. So, how will you serve me?

[37:37] Living with somebody who knows

[37:38] everything about you, you know, every

[37:40] little thing, every thought

[37:43] is just a trip.

[37:52] So, then I had to go.

[37:54] He said, "Just do what you want."

[37:56] Then it was time for me to go. So, I

[37:58] bowed down. I walked across the

[37:59] courtyard.

[38:02] And I

[38:03] I did a danda pranam, full down on the

[38:06] ground.

[38:08] And as I was there on the ground there,

[38:10] I heard

[38:12] my voice

[38:14] in my mind, but it wasn't me

[38:17] talking.

[38:18] And it said, "I'll sing to you in

[38:20] America."

[38:22] Oh, okay.

[38:25] And I got up and left.

[38:28] But it took me 21 years

[38:30] to start singing

[38:32] with people.

[38:34] So, when I tell you when I say to you,

[38:37] you got to plant some seeds, I know how

[38:39] hard it is

[38:41] to overcome

[38:46] to overcome the delusion and and and the

[38:49] the

[38:51] the inertia of the of the mind and the

[38:54] emotions engaged

[38:57] all life long with the stuff.

[39:00] It's really hard.

[39:03] Really hard.

[39:05] We have so many reasons why we don't pay

[39:07] attention, why we don't do what's in our

[39:09] own best interests.

[39:15] What are you going to do?

[39:18] It's up to you.

[39:22] Okay, let's change the channel

[39:25] before everybody commits suicide.

[39:35] So, we have a a microphone and we'll

[39:38] take some questions.

[39:42] I'll ask the questions.

[39:48] Okay.

[39:50] If you want to say something, just raise

[39:51] your hand.

[40:00] Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? I can.

[40:03] Okay. Hold on a second. Kev, can you put

[40:05] me in here in this mic?

[40:08] Go ahead.

[40:09] No, my name's Racheli and I came up to

[40:12] you at the Ram Dass retreat. Okay. And

[40:16] we were discussing the names of God and

[40:20] I grew up Orthodox

[40:22] Jewish Orthodox. Jewish Ortho- There's a

[40:24] lot of different Orthodox. Thank you.

[40:25] >> Yes. Yes, that one. Yeah.

[40:28] And I've been doing the Hanuman Chalisa.

[40:32] That's a good Jewish prayer. It's a good

[40:33] one.

[40:35] So then I was home on Rosh Hashanah at

[40:38] my parents and suddenly like I couldn't

[40:40] do it. The names of um

[40:43] of

[40:44] Ram and Hanuman and all of that. Yeah. I

[40:47] felt this resistance. I'm just curious

[40:49] if you have any thoughts because I do

[40:51] believe it is all one. We were talking

[40:53] about that book with the Bal Shem Tov.

[40:55] Mhm. Um but yeah, if you have any

[40:58] thoughts for me on that.

[41:00] Thoughts. Let me think about that.

[41:04] Yeah, I remember one time I was doing a

[41:06] retreat and a woman raised a hand said,

[41:08] "I was at a Jewish retreat last weekend

[41:10] and they say you can't say the name of

[41:12] God."

[41:13] And I said, "You're right.

[41:15] We're just lying."

[41:18] And Maharaji used to say, "Go on, sing

[41:20] your lying fake Ram Ram. One of these

[41:23] days you'll really call out and the real

[41:25] Ram will come."

[41:29] Whatever that is, it's beyond

[41:31] conceptions, thoughts, names, labels.

[41:36] Reality is beyond all that.

[41:38] So the true name of God can never be

[41:40] spoken.

[41:43] On the other hand,

[41:48] because we live in the world of thought

[41:50] and emotions and words and concepts,

[41:54] what we try to do is gather ourselves up

[41:57] and eventually offer ourselves to that

[42:00] place within us that is real love.

[42:04] And we use these names

[42:06] as a a method to

[42:10] do that for ourselves to accomplish

[42:12] that.

[42:15] But the names themselves

[42:18] are the

[42:20] You know, St. John of the Cross wrote

[42:22] that in the beginning the Father uttered

[42:25] one word.

[42:27] That word is his son.

[42:30] And he utters him forever

[42:32] in everlasting silence.

[42:36] Silence

[42:38] is not just the not the absence of

[42:41] sound, it's the it's the absence of

[42:43] stuff

[42:45] of of

[42:46] concepts.

[42:49] So, silence is reality,

[42:52] but it's beyond words.

[42:55] The only way for us to recognize that is

[42:58] to see it ourselves within.

[43:02] These names, they say these names are

[43:05] the the sound form

[43:08] of what's beyond form.

[43:12] Maharaj used to say, you you can get to

[43:14] the formless through the the only way to

[43:17] he used to say the only way to get to

[43:18] the formless is through the form because

[43:21] we identify with form, with our own

[43:23] form, with the body, thoughts, emotions.

[43:27] We identify with that. So, inside of

[43:29] that delusion

[43:33] these other

[43:35] this method of chanting the names

[43:39] I mean, if you chant Frank all day long,

[43:43] you'll get a headache.

[43:45] People named Frank will start knocking

[43:46] on your door.

[43:48] You know?

[43:50] You'll wake up in in bed instead of your

[43:52] husband, there'll be a Frank.

[43:54] It's dangerous, you know? This stuff

[43:56] works. So, it's better to sing the names

[43:59] of what's real.

[44:00] And all these other names that we're

[44:02] chanting

[44:04] are the names of this place within us

[44:06] that is beyond form.

[44:11] It's hard to talk about things beyond

[44:12] form because we don't know. What was I

[44:15] just reading something?

[44:23] A brain is a terrible thing to lose.

[44:27] But anyhow,

[44:28] um

[44:31] Yeah, we're we're in form. We live in

[44:32] form. Everything

[44:34] our thoughts, our emotions, our

[44:35] feelings, it's all feelings, it's all

[44:37] form.

[44:39] So, but inside of that form

[44:42] that it's like clouds in the sky.

[44:44] The sky

[44:46] is vast. The space is vast and endless.

[44:50] And it envelops everything. It includes

[44:52] everything within it.

[44:54] So, all these concepts, all these forms

[44:58] actually are held in this vast presence,

[45:01] this vast being,

[45:03] this vast silence.

[45:06] But to get to the silence, we have to

[45:08] use

[45:09] a techniques in form.

[45:15] So,

[45:16] that's what the names are about.

[45:18] And like I said, when you say because if

[45:21] you

[45:22] if you were 100% there and you said the

[45:25] Ram,

[45:26] you would have that experience of what

[45:28] really Ram is.

[45:31] And like Kabir, the poet says, "My Ram

[45:33] is not that that prince.

[45:36] You know, my Ram is is reality, the

[45:38] inner dwell the in-dwelling presence in

[45:40] everyone.

[45:41] Reality."

[45:43] So, yeah, you know.

[45:45] It's just um

[45:48] I was just at the Wailing Wall

[45:51] a month ago, 2 months ago.

[45:54] It was

[45:55] uh intense.

[45:58] I sang Shalisa.

[46:00] Banging my head against the wall like

[46:02] everybody else. So, got this is so hard

[46:04] on the one

[46:13] But um

[46:17] Yeah, so you know, you but all that

[46:19] being said, you

[46:21] you have to honor your own feelings.

[46:24] What feels right to you is what you

[46:26] should follow what you

[46:27] could listen to. I don't want to say

[46:29] should but could.

[46:32] Because if you don't follow your own

[46:33] heart, then what?

[46:35] Right? So don't don't doubt that.

[46:38] That would be my what I would say, you

[46:40] know. You should

[46:43] You could examine your feelings. Well,

[46:45] why do I feel this way? Is this really

[46:47] me or is it my programming that's making

[46:49] it uncomfortable?

[46:50] You know, so whatever it is, you should

[46:52] go with it. You could go with it, see?

[46:58] Because if you don't if the whole path

[47:00] is learning how to trust yourself.

[47:02] The whole path is nothing but learning

[47:06] how to trust oneself.

[47:09] Because that's where it is.

[47:12] Always.

[47:27] Kevin, I can't hear me in here a little

[47:28] louder.

[47:31] Hi. Hi.

[47:33] So I've recently

[47:36] blessed to have Kirtan enter my life in

[47:38] the last like probably 18 months to like

[47:41] a year and a half.

[47:42] And um

[47:45] Coming from like a music background,

[47:48] I've like invested in a harmonium and I

[47:50] sing and chant in my home and I like

[47:53] sing my heart out and then whenever I

[47:57] get into a group of people and I'm

[48:00] chanting the same chance that I've

[48:02] practiced at home or have developed at

[48:04] home, it sort of flips from being a

[48:08] genuine expression of love for divinity

[48:10] into

[48:13] almost like a leadership role, I guess.

[48:15] And so, I guess I'm wondering if you

[48:17] have any perspective or advice on how to

[48:19] keep the main thing the main thing in a

[48:22] group when you're leading a chant or a

[48:24] melody, you know, cuz for me it sort of

[48:27] flips into this almost performance

[48:30] instead of a community expression of

[48:34] love for divinity. So, I'd love your

[48:36] perspective on that if you have any to

[48:38] offer. Well, first of all, don't quit

[48:39] your day job.

[48:44] And it's good that you see that. That's

[48:46] very That's It's useful that you see

[48:48] that.

[48:49] Um

[48:51] but you you only had two options. You

[48:54] You gave me two options. Neither one is

[48:56] good enough.

[48:59] If this isn't your spiritual practice,

[49:02] you're doing it wrong.

[49:05] So,

[49:06] in spiritual practice,

[49:08] you say chanting to divinity and all

[49:11] this I mean, I don't even know what that

[49:12] means.

[49:14] Do you?

[49:16] Right. So, just chant and pay attention.

[49:20] And when you're gone, come back.

[49:23] Think

[49:24] focus on the sound of what you're

[49:26] singing.

[49:27] All this other stuff's going to come and

[49:28] go. Sometimes you'll feel good,

[49:30] sometimes you'll feel bad.

[49:32] Sometimes this will happen, sometimes

[49:33] that'll happen. What won't change is the

[49:35] sound of the name.

[49:37] That'll always be there for you to come

[49:38] back to.

[49:40] And that's the deal.

[49:41] So, ultimately it should be no different

[49:44] at home

[49:45] or in a group.

[49:47] But

[49:49] you're seeing your stuff, so that's

[49:51] good.

[49:52] Just keep letting go.

[49:54] And

[49:55] be sincere and open and honest.

[49:58] And don't try to fool anybody.

[50:01] Cuz you're only fooling yourself.

[50:12] When we started singing, when Maharaj

[50:14] would ask us to sing,

[50:16] we would just stand there and go

[50:18] "Sri Ram

[50:19] Jai." Very Ram Das. Whatever.

[50:21] Sri Ram Jai

[50:24] Ram Jai.

[50:28] So, one day, one of the guys in who were

[50:31] hanging out with us

[50:34] knew that the Hare Krishna guys, they

[50:37] all they came to Vrindavan for the first

[50:38] time in 1971.

[50:41] Maybe they were there before, but they

[50:42] started coming in numbers.

[50:44] And one group came from Hawaii.

[50:47] So, this guy was from Hawaii, and he

[50:49] knew the leader of this group. So, he

[50:51] invited them to come to this to the

[50:52] temple to sing.

[50:54] So, like 20, they all they all came, and

[50:56] they had their drums and their bangers

[50:58] and their clangers, and they were

[50:59] dancing and everything.

[51:01] Maharaj loved it.

[51:02] He looks over and he goes,

[51:04] "Hare Krishna Maha mantra." Like it was

[51:06] a big secret, you know.

[51:10] So, then they left. He reaches in his

[51:12] dhoti, you know, and he pulls out a 50

[51:14] rupee note. And he gives it to me. He

[51:16] says, "Go buy a drum."

[51:19] From that 50 rupees,

[51:23] here we are.

[51:28] So,

[51:34] you know,

[51:35] uh um

[51:37] there was a great saint in the 1800s

[51:40] named Sri Ramakrishna.

[51:43] And uh

[51:46] he

[51:47] he he talked about the way chanting

[51:49] works.

[51:50] So

[51:52] He said, "Every repetition of the name

[51:55] is a seed.

[51:56] Okay?

[51:58] Just like a seed

[52:00] a little tiny seed could have a huge

[52:02] tree inside it, right?

[52:04] These seeds of the name have even a

[52:06] greater potential.

[52:08] They have reality inside, real love

[52:10] inside, truth."

[52:13] And he said, "So you you're chanting

[52:15] these names and the seeds of the name

[52:18] get caught by the wind

[52:20] and blown around.

[52:22] And some of the seeds get

[52:24] land on the roof of an old house

[52:27] in the middle of the jungle.

[52:30] And they get stuck between the tiles on

[52:32] the roof of the house. Okay?

[52:35] The seeds of the repetition of the name

[52:38] get stuck between the tiles on the roof

[52:40] of this house.

[52:41] And over time and seasons and wind and

[52:44] rain and whatever or sun,

[52:46] the tiles start to break down and get

[52:49] soft.

[52:51] At that point,

[52:52] the seeds start to

[52:55] take root. They start to grow.

[52:58] And the seeds the roots grow and they

[53:00] grow and they grow.

[53:04] And they destroy the roof of the house.

[53:08] And they keep growing.

[53:10] And they destroy the walls of the house.

[53:13] Ramakrishna said, "The house

[53:15] is who we think we are.

[53:19] Our

[53:20] version of ourselves, our so-called

[53:22] egos, who we think we are. That's the

[53:25] house which is destroyed

[53:28] by the repetition of the name.

[53:31] And you know what he doesn't talk about?

[53:33] He doesn't talk about how it feels when

[53:36] you're planting the seeds.

[53:38] Why? Because it's irrelevant.

[53:41] People ask me, "What do you feel when

[53:43] you when you chant?" I say, "How do I

[53:46] know?"

[53:48] If I if I think so if there's a thought

[53:51] comes through,

[53:52] I just let it go. I don't write it down.

[53:56] I come back to the sound of the name.

[53:59] But the thing is,

[54:00] this house

[54:02] with the walls and the roof,

[54:05] then there's an inside and an outside,

[54:07] right?

[54:08] Which is all the little houses in the

[54:09] room here.

[54:12] Every one of these houses in the room

[54:13] has an inside

[54:15] and outside. That's the rest of us.

[54:17] My outside is all of you. Your outside

[54:19] is everybody else.

[54:22] The repetition of the name

[54:24] dissolves those walls, and then there's

[54:27] open space.

[54:29] Nothing is lost. Everything is gained.

[54:33] The whole universe.

[54:36] You recognize yourself as the whole

[54:38] universe. Not just that what was in that

[54:40] little house.

[54:47] So you sing, you do your practice, and

[54:49] you live your life.

[54:52] That's it.

[54:54] And you try to treat people the way you

[54:56] would like to be treated.

[54:58] More than that

[55:00] is not necessary.

[55:03] That's enough of a job.

[55:06] I mean, think of how you go through the

[55:07] day.

[55:08] How many people do you treat the way you

[55:11] would like to be treated?

[55:13] No.

[55:15] We label everything and everyone. This

[55:17] one's good, this one's bad, this one's

[55:19] friend, this one's an enemy. This one's

[55:21] bigger, smaller, this one's higher on

[55:24] the chain of command at work.

[55:27] Everything's labeled, everything so we

[55:28] can navigate our egoistic way through

[55:31] our through our lives.

[55:34] And we never notice it because

[55:35] everybody's doing it.

[55:39] So,

[55:41] a little bit of practice

[55:43] and a lot of caring for other people

[55:46] and oneself.

[55:47] And a lot of good things can happen.

[55:50] Okay.

[55:53] Ram Ram.

[55:55] Same to you.

[55:57] Uh

[55:58] in COVID I talked to you

[56:00] and

[56:02] I meditate in I live in New York and I'm

[56:05] I was meditating

[56:07] and

[56:08] I found myself standing in the Hanuman

[56:11] Temple in India, Delhi.

[56:14] I don't know you remember or not.

[56:17] So,

[56:19] then I I thought

[56:21] what I'm doing in Hanuman Temple? So, I

[56:23] had Darshan of Hanumanji and my dad was

[56:26] devotee of Hanumanji.

[56:28] Then when I talked to you and I found

[56:30] about you,

[56:32] you told me read Ramcharitmanas

[56:36] and Miracle of Love.

[56:38] And I'm reading Ramcharitmanas last year

[56:41] I did, now I'm reading. I'm crying a lot

[56:45] because I didn't know my is the is God

[56:48] is deity is Ram. Did the what? What was

[56:52] that?

[56:52] The you know the

[56:55] deity some of the you know the the

[56:56] family by family come you know in India.

[56:59] Yeah.

[57:00] >> Like my grand grandparents

[57:03] because I was devotee of the Durga.

[57:06] The way I you know the raise in my you

[57:08] know have some of the your personal

[57:10] favorite God in India, right?

[57:12] >> Mhm.

[57:13] So, because I have Darshan of Durga as

[57:16] well. I have so much spiritual you know

[57:18] experience through but when you told me

[57:21] read Ramcharitmanas, it totally changed

[57:23] my life and

[57:26] now and every day you know because when

[57:30] I'm crying a lot when I read that

[57:32] Ramcharitmanas.

[57:34] So, they say in India and some of the

[57:36] guru are

[57:38] here.

[57:39] Only your guru can

[57:41] uh take you to the you deity the way you

[57:43] do it. So, through you I met Ram. And

[57:48] the Maharaj you know Hanuman Ji is a

[57:50] Lila you can say, you know. So, I will

[57:52] be thankful the rest of my life to you

[57:55] and Ram Das and the journey I I come

[58:01] from India and end up here in New York

[58:04] and uh

[58:05] doing kirtan. And my wife was worried

[58:08] because what's going on? What's going

[58:10] on? You know?

[58:12] And what happened? See,

[58:14] I bring my father-in-law here, too.

[58:16] And do some kirtan here, you know. He'll

[58:19] keep you straight.

[58:22] So, thank you so much. You know, he's a

[58:24] blessing and

[58:26] and

[58:27] Maharaj too. He gave me darshan. And my

[58:31] wife came last last year, too. Me and my

[58:33] wife.

[58:35] And he said she said who who's sitting

[58:37] behind there? I said nobody's sitting

[58:39] there.

[58:40] She has a darshan as well. So,

[58:43] we're really blessed. I'm I'm so

[58:45] emotional right now.

[58:47] So, thank you. Thank you.

[58:48] >> And as a guru I I really

[58:53] I will work for now. Thank you.

[58:54] >> Yeah, thank you.

[58:57] Yeah, Ramcharitmanas is a wonderful

[58:59] book.

[59:00] Ram Das gave me his copy to read

[59:03] before I went to India when I first met

[59:05] him.

[59:06] It's so beautiful, you know.

[59:10] Westerners,

[59:11] we're only programmed for one kind of

[59:13] love.

[59:14] Emotional love.

[59:16] There's other kinds of love.

[59:19] And this book which is the story of Rama

[59:23] told in a very

[59:24] devotional way, very open, loving way.

[59:27] It's extraordinary.

[59:29] It really re-programs your

[59:31] your heart

[59:32] and opens us to a a different way of

[59:35] loving, a different kind of love.

[59:38] It's very amazing.

[59:41] Yeah.

[59:42] A really beautiful book.

[59:46] Ramcharitmanas

[59:48] The The Manas like lake, the mind like

[59:51] lake of the stories of Ram. And every

[59:53] chapter is a descent deeper into the

[59:56] lake. It's really beautiful.

[59:59] Very beautiful.

[1:00:01] Tulsidas wrote that. He's the one who

[1:00:02] wrote the Hanuman Chalisa also.

[1:00:11] Yeah. Where Where's the mic? Okay.

[1:00:14] Got to

[1:00:15] keep it firing

[1:00:16] >> Hello. Oh.

[1:00:18] I have the mic. Hold on one second.

[1:00:20] Yeah.

[1:00:20] Roll off some more lows if you can. Just

[1:00:22] a little bit.

[1:00:24] Difficulty here.

[1:00:27] Okay. Yeah.

[1:00:28] Hey, my name is Coco.

[1:00:30] And my question is

[1:00:33] when I'm chanting, I'm usually mumbling

[1:00:36] and I hardly know what the hell I'm

[1:00:38] saying.

[1:00:39] But I put a lot of love behind it.

[1:00:41] So

[1:00:42] if I'm never know exactly what I'm

[1:00:44] saying, how do I keep going forward?

[1:00:47] Cuz I do love it. I pretty much chant

[1:00:49] every day to you in my car,

[1:00:52] you know, driving around. So

[1:00:53] but a lot of time I feel like I'm faking

[1:00:55] the funk.

[1:00:56] That's called a thought. Yeah.

[1:00:59] It's a thought, but I'm a big time

[1:01:00] mumbler. Yeah. Let it go. I don't know

[1:01:02] what these names mean.

[1:01:04] Great answer, brother. Yeah.

[1:01:07] The real The real meaning of these names

[1:01:09] is your own true nature.

[1:01:12] You know, yeah, there's a story line

[1:01:13] with all the names. They all come from

[1:01:15] out of these

[1:01:16] the stories from India, most of these

[1:01:18] names that we sing.

[1:01:20] But uh

[1:01:22] that's not the real meaning. The real

[1:01:24] meaning is your own soul

[1:01:27] soul, your own heart.

[1:01:29] And if you're feeling love, that's good.

[1:01:32] That's a nice feeling to have.

[1:01:34] Just keep chanting.

[1:01:35] You know, you want to spend the next 30

[1:01:37] years studying about what Ram means? You

[1:01:40] can do that, too.

[1:01:41] Then next life, you can start chanting

[1:01:43] again.

[1:01:47] But, it's up to you.

[1:01:49] And when you think, "What am I doing? I

[1:01:51] don't know what I'm That's called a

[1:01:52] thought." You let go, and you come back

[1:01:54] to the sound of the name. That's the

[1:01:56] only thing. The name itself will

[1:01:58] will reveal much to you. What's inside

[1:02:03] of us.

[1:02:04] We don't have to create it. All we have

[1:02:05] to do is pay attention.

[1:02:08] And as we pay attention and

[1:02:10] get closer to the sound and the feeling

[1:02:13] of the sound,

[1:02:15] things start to happen inside.

[1:02:17] You don't have to Nobody needs to tell

[1:02:19] you [ __ ] You'll find from inside what

[1:02:21] the truth is.

[1:02:24] But, don't You're feeling good right

[1:02:26] now. Don't stop if you

[1:02:27] All of a sudden, you don't feel good.

[1:02:30] You got to keep going. You have to go

[1:02:31] through that.

[1:02:33] Right now, you might be in a nice little

[1:02:35] What do they call it? A

[1:02:38] in the desert where there's a

[1:02:42] A what?

[1:02:44] Oasis. Oh, yeah. That's a rock group.

[1:02:46] Yeah.

[1:02:47] Yeah, yeah.

[1:02:48] You know, but then there might be some

[1:02:49] desert between now and the next oasis.

[1:02:52] So, but if you don't keep chanting, you

[1:02:54] just get stuck in the desert.

[1:02:56] So, you keep going. You can always let

[1:02:58] go.

[1:03:00] That's the amazing thing.

[1:03:02] Whatever it is, you can let go.

[1:03:04] But, you have to remember, "Oh, I can

[1:03:07] let go and come back." But, we get so

[1:03:09] stuck in stuff.

[1:03:11] We believe it. Like,

[1:03:13] you're practicing and then something

[1:03:14] happens in your life that's very

[1:03:16] difficult, and then you just stop

[1:03:18] practicing.

[1:03:19] And you get stuck in that stuff

[1:03:21] for x amount of time.

[1:03:23] And then it passes, and you remember,

[1:03:25] "Oh, wait a minute. I used to do this."

[1:03:27] And you start again.

[1:03:29] But you could have kept going all

[1:03:31] through that.

[1:03:32] But it's our expectations were so [ __ ]

[1:03:34] if we don't feel what I want to feel,

[1:03:36] then I'm not going to do this.

[1:03:38] Well,

[1:03:39] good luck, you know.

[1:03:41] So,

[1:03:42] you just keep going. Always let go.

[1:03:45] But it's not easy. We're not trained to

[1:03:47] let go. We're trained not to.

[1:03:50] You know.

[1:03:57] Okay.

[1:04:00] Jai Shri Ram, Krishna Das. It's so great

[1:04:03] to be here with you.

[1:04:05] Uh

[1:04:06] a little bit about me. I grew up in a

[1:04:08] household where we worshiped Lord Ram,

[1:04:12] Hanuman. So, grew up in a household with

[1:04:16] bhajan and kirtan. Uh and it came from

[1:04:19] my grandmom.

[1:04:20] And today I'm here to celebrate her

[1:04:22] birthday as well with you. Her birthday

[1:04:25] was on October 2nd, and here here's uh

[1:04:28] what other good way to celebrate her

[1:04:30] birthday? Yeah. Um

[1:04:33] Yeah, and I I came to USA 7 years ago,

[1:04:37] and you know, my grandmom, she did not

[1:04:39] want me to come all this way, and

[1:04:43] uh the last time I saw her, she was like

[1:04:45] crying and asking me, "Hey, don't leave

[1:04:49] me. Don't leave me." And we shared a

[1:04:51] very, very beautiful relationship. When

[1:04:54] you describe of your relationship with

[1:04:56] Maharajji, I'm just reminded of my

[1:04:58] relationship with my grandma.

[1:05:01] So, yeah, I mean, uh she told me, "Don't

[1:05:04] don't leave me." And then I came to USA.

[1:05:07] I'm like, "No, granny, I have to go. I

[1:05:09] have this

[1:05:10] You know, there's so many things I want

[1:05:11] to do, and I thought I would be coming

[1:05:13] here.

[1:05:14] And you know

[1:05:16] time just years flew by 1 year 2 year 3

[1:05:20] year just used to talk to her over the

[1:05:22] phone and then eventually she lost this

[1:05:25] ability of like recognizing me listening

[1:05:27] to me over the phone. I was watching I

[1:05:30] was with her through the video calls

[1:05:31] every day.

[1:05:32] And then yeah, I mean you know, I

[1:05:35] thought I would be able to go back to

[1:05:36] meet her.

[1:05:38] And then years flew by one day all of a

[1:05:40] sudden I was woken up in the middle of

[1:05:42] night with the news that she's not

[1:05:44] with us anymore.

[1:05:46] And the other beautiful like you know,

[1:05:49] the other thing which happened was that

[1:05:50] the day I lost her just one night prior

[1:05:53] to that I had this dream where I saw my

[1:05:57] grandmom on her deathbed.

[1:06:00] And she had this photo she had held this

[1:06:02] photo in her hand and she was saying

[1:06:04] that Maharajji is here to come take me.

[1:06:07] Maharajji is here to come take me.

[1:06:10] And I was just like hooking up and I

[1:06:13] knew that you know, my grandmom is not

[1:06:15] well. I just could not comprehend what

[1:06:18] was happening at that time and I had

[1:06:20] this very bad feeling that I'm going to

[1:06:22] lose her.

[1:06:23] And just the next day

[1:06:25] you know,

[1:06:26] after 12 14 hours I got this news. I was

[1:06:29] woken up in the middle of the night with

[1:06:31] the news that she has left us.

[1:06:34] So yeah, I mean you know, you helped me

[1:06:36] to get through the pain of losing her.

[1:06:39] But at the same time like you know, I'm

[1:06:41] just kind of very curious about this

[1:06:43] experience you know, coming here finding

[1:06:46] you being reminded of bhakti and how can

[1:06:51] I just like you know,

[1:06:53] uh keep following it.

[1:06:58] You can sit.

[1:07:01] That's how.

[1:07:04] You just have to live your life.

[1:07:06] All the seeds are in there. You just

[1:07:08] have to follow your heart.

[1:07:10] There's no

[1:07:13] There's nothing to join. There's no

[1:07:15] rules and regulations.

[1:07:18] Just be you.

[1:07:19] Find out what that is.

[1:07:21] That's the best thing. The only thing.

[1:07:24] It sounds like your grandmother very

[1:07:26] beautiful.

[1:07:28] That love will always be with you.

[1:07:30] The love never goes away.

[1:07:33] Bodies come and go. That's what they do.

[1:07:36] But love never goes.

[1:07:46] We can miss the bodies.

[1:07:48] And we do for a while.

[1:07:50] But the love is really what's always

[1:07:52] here.

[1:07:54] It's okay to miss bodies.

[1:07:56] That's what they're for.

[1:07:58] To be missed.

[1:08:02] Yeah.

[1:08:10] You don't have to stand. I got you.

[1:08:13] All right.

[1:08:13] Thank you for the opportunity.

[1:08:16] I have a My question is about your book.

[1:08:20] At first I

[1:08:21] >> The Bible?

[1:08:24] Oh.

[1:08:27] I know that's okay. I I know what book

[1:08:29] Yeah. Which one is that? Wait No, no,

[1:08:31] that's not my book.

[1:08:33] Yes.

[1:08:33] >> Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's in what

[1:08:35] Spanish? Or Portuguese? Portuguese. Ah,

[1:08:37] but it is uh

[1:08:39] Portuguese.

[1:08:40] Yes. Very good.

[1:08:43] My question is about

[1:08:46] in your book

[1:08:48] you explain your

[1:08:51] love with your guru, okay?

[1:08:55] And

[1:08:57] I don't understood

[1:09:00] who teach you be a musician.

[1:09:04] Um

[1:09:07] I saw that I I read the book. I

[1:09:10] understand my but

[1:09:14] you said musician

[1:09:16] where

[1:09:18] you um

[1:09:20] I love

[1:09:21] first about your music musician.

[1:09:23] >> Mhm.

[1:09:25] And the book you don't tell

[1:09:28] where

[1:09:29] the musician

[1:09:31] your musician so complex who teach you

[1:09:34] this.

[1:09:38] Who teach taught me what?

[1:09:40] Be a good musician. I I don't know if I

[1:09:43] am a good musician. No, you are. Oh,

[1:09:45] thank you.

[1:09:49] Now I know. No, about this use the

[1:09:51] drums, use the guitar, bass, who?

[1:09:57] I mean, I've always loved music. Uh

[1:10:01] I took

[1:10:02] trumpet lessons

[1:10:03] when I was a kid.

[1:10:06] I took piano lessons for a few months.

[1:10:10] And other than that, I just listened to

[1:10:11] music and played I taught myself guitar.

[1:10:15] You know,

[1:10:16] I don't know. You just absorb it.

[1:10:19] Nobody taught me.

[1:10:21] I mean

[1:10:23] you know, like when we were asked to

[1:10:25] come to the Grammys Yes. Yes. and we

[1:10:28] were asked to perform at the

[1:10:31] the smaller Grammys thing which was

[1:10:34] folk music, jazz, blues, world music. It

[1:10:38] wasn't the pop music thing.

[1:10:40] So

[1:10:42] they set us up on this rolling cart

[1:10:47] right?

[1:10:48] Offstage.

[1:10:50] And every we're all sitting me, Nina,

[1:10:53] Steve, who and Mark was there, right?

[1:10:56] Uh

[1:10:57] Arjun I think was there.

[1:10:59] So

[1:11:00] they set us up on this

[1:11:02] platform

[1:11:04] with the with the speakers, the

[1:11:05] monitors, and everything, you know, and

[1:11:07] the mixture.

[1:11:09] And then

[1:11:10] we were the first performers for the

[1:11:13] So they open it and the guy enters says

[1:11:15] hello and then he and they roll us out

[1:11:17] on the stage.

[1:11:21] And

[1:11:22] I looked in the front row

[1:11:25] and Herbie Hancock

[1:11:27] Pat Metheny

[1:11:29] Chick Corea

[1:11:31] and me and my little squeeze box.

[1:11:35] I thought, am I really going to squeeze

[1:11:37] this little thing in front of those

[1:11:38] people?

[1:11:45] But once I sing everything is okay, so

[1:11:48] but it was a funny moment.

[1:11:52] And I never prayed so hard

[1:11:57] as I prayed

[1:11:58] later that day

[1:12:00] to lose

[1:12:02] not to be not to win the award

[1:12:05] because you had to go up and make a

[1:12:06] speech

[1:12:08] in front of these people.

[1:12:09] What was I going to say? You know. Uh

[1:12:12] I learned how to squeeze this thing in

[1:12:14] India and now I do it in America.

[1:12:17] Thank you.

[1:12:20] Anyway

[1:12:22] uh

[1:12:26] music is very good.

[1:12:29] It pacifies the beast.

[1:12:32] But it's not enough to free you from

[1:12:35] suffering.

[1:12:37] The name is the medicine.

[1:12:39] The music is the sweet syrup

[1:12:42] that the medicine is hidden in.

[1:12:45] So we're very spoiled little babies. We

[1:12:47] don't want to take the medicine. So with

[1:12:49] the sweet syrup we take it.

[1:12:52] And that's what it's for.

[1:12:57] Thank you.

[1:13:03] Mics over there, yeah. You have to talk

[1:13:05] to him.

[1:13:07] Yeah, Namaskar. Namaskar, ji.

[1:13:10] Um how important is to have a guru in

[1:13:13] your life in order to get to the next

[1:13:16] level?

[1:13:17] Um because I'm very

[1:13:19] skeptical, so I also

[1:13:21] uh read a lot of watch lot, and what

[1:13:24] I've learned is detachment is the key

[1:13:26] thing. So What does that mean to you?

[1:13:28] Means you know, you don't really depend

[1:13:31] on anything in a people, family, life,

[1:13:35] money, anything. So That's absolutely

[1:13:37] wrong. 100% wrong.

[1:13:39] >> Yeah, yeah. So of course I'm wrong,

[1:13:40] that's why I'm here. Well, you

[1:13:44] Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[1:13:47] I'm not sure what that means, you know.

[1:13:49] So

[1:13:50] point is Yeah. It it the we having a

[1:13:52] guru and then being attached to that

[1:13:55] form, right? I mean Well, that's that's

[1:13:57] also a problem, yeah. That that's a

[1:13:58] problem. So how do we kind of is it

[1:14:01] really important to have guru or just

[1:14:04] the chanting and then maybe doing what

[1:14:07] you said, four things, you know? Yeah.

[1:14:09] Treating people with love and doing

[1:14:10] whatever you have to do

[1:14:12] is all really can help you uh grow.

[1:14:16] Thank you. You're welcome, yeah. Thank

[1:14:17] you. Well, first of all, detachment

[1:14:20] is love.

[1:14:22] Love for everyone equally.

[1:14:24] That's detachment.

[1:14:26] Attachment makes one person closer,

[1:14:29] another person further away.

[1:14:31] Makes some foods more pleasant, some

[1:14:34] things unpleasant. That's attachment.

[1:14:36] Likes and the in the in in the third

[1:14:39] patriarch of Zen Buddhism said, "The

[1:14:41] great way is not difficult

[1:14:44] for those with no preferences."

[1:14:48] So that disqualifies all of us.

[1:14:52] So,

[1:14:53] but don't think about detachment as

[1:14:54] something cold and that all of a sudden

[1:14:57] you can't care about people and you

[1:14:59] you're the people you you love you don't

[1:15:02] love them anymore. This is wrong.

[1:15:05] Detachment means loving all, everyone,

[1:15:08] including yourself.

[1:15:11] Okay? When you look in the mirror, you

[1:15:13] don't doubt that you see you, right?

[1:15:16] Yeah, you're looking at your guru.

[1:15:20] Because

[1:15:22] Oh, thought it was a bird.

[1:15:26] You never know.

[1:15:28] Um or a monkey.

[1:15:31] Uh

[1:15:33] Yeah.

[1:15:36] A guru is ultimately important. Yes,

[1:15:38] nobody can make any contact any You

[1:15:41] can't advance on the path without a

[1:15:42] guru.

[1:15:43] But, guru doesn't mean physical body.

[1:15:47] Absolutely does not mean that.

[1:15:50] If you if any of us have any desire or

[1:15:53] any longing

[1:15:55] or any

[1:15:56] capacity for this for spiritual practice

[1:15:59] or this kind of We already have a guru,

[1:16:02] but the guru is inside.

[1:16:04] Guru, God, and self are not different.

[1:16:08] The body that I've got attached to, that

[1:16:10] wasn't the guru. That was the body of

[1:16:12] the guru.

[1:16:13] It's like

[1:16:14] when you when you drive a car and it

[1:16:16] breaks down, you don't cry. You just go

[1:16:19] get a new car.

[1:16:20] Well, that's what a guru does because

[1:16:23] guru is never identified with the body.

[1:16:27] They know who they are. They know what

[1:16:29] they are.

[1:16:31] And they know that they are one with us.

[1:16:35] And they know that they are not the

[1:16:36] body. The body is nothing to them.

[1:16:40] It's a a

[1:16:42] So, you don't sit around and wait for a

[1:16:44] guru because that's you because

[1:16:48] everything you do, every thought we have

[1:16:51] is karma.

[1:16:53] Is creating karma, every thought. So, if

[1:16:56] you sit around waiting for a guru,

[1:16:57] you're just waiting and you're not doing

[1:16:59] anything to help yourself.

[1:17:00] So,

[1:17:03] knowing that the guru lives within,

[1:17:06] not just me, but everybody,

[1:17:09] or God lives within everybody, then you

[1:17:12] start treating people that way.

[1:17:15] And then you see your attachments. You

[1:17:18] like this one better than that one. You

[1:17:19] treat this one differently than that

[1:17:20] one, right? All kinds of things. So, you

[1:17:23] start working with that.

[1:17:25] And you start trying to let go of those

[1:17:28] kind of judgments.

[1:17:31] But it's very hard to let go of thoughts

[1:17:33] unless you have

[1:17:36] s- something to come back to,

[1:17:38] which is what we call a practice.

[1:17:41] So, you either have a mantra

[1:17:43] or of the name or whatever mantra or or

[1:17:46] the breath, which is always there. You

[1:17:47] don't have to remember. It's always

[1:17:49] there even when you're not paying

[1:17:50] attention. So, you can always come back

[1:17:52] to the breath. The idea is to come back

[1:17:55] to you again and again and again and

[1:17:58] again and again and again and again and

[1:18:00] again. And little by little,

[1:18:03] we get more comfortable and familiar

[1:18:07] what it means what it feels like to be

[1:18:09] at home in ourselves. Just to be here.

[1:18:12] It expands. It deepens. It gets richer.

[1:18:16] It it juicier. Thing It changes. It's

[1:18:19] not just like, "Okay, I'm here.

[1:18:21] Now, I'm not here."

[1:18:23] It's not like that. Here is everywhere,

[1:18:25] but we don't know that.

[1:18:27] So, here is where the guru is also.

[1:18:33] But we don't we we identify with our

[1:18:36] bodies, so we can't imagine what's

[1:18:39] beyond the body.

[1:18:41] We can't. It's not possible because

[1:18:43] that's where thoughts don't go.

[1:18:46] So, what are you going to do?

[1:18:49] You're just going to sit around and

[1:18:50] wait, to trip and fall into somebody's

[1:18:52] lap, and then you're going to call that

[1:18:53] person a guru? No, you have to start

[1:18:55] right now taking care of yourself,

[1:18:58] honoring your your your karmas, who you

[1:19:00] are, where you are, what people you have

[1:19:02] to take care of, what people you you

[1:19:04] need to to cherish and take care of, and

[1:19:07] what you need in your life, what that

[1:19:09] you don't have, and what you have that

[1:19:10] you don't need.

[1:19:12] You just start cleaning up, cleaning

[1:19:13] your room, like my mother used to tell

[1:19:15] me.

[1:19:16] And I never did it.

[1:19:18] And now I don't do it, either.

[1:19:24] But, yeah, no, you don't sit around

[1:19:25] waiting for a guru.

[1:19:27] But, on the other hand, without guru,

[1:19:30] we

[1:19:31] A guru

[1:19:33] sh- keeps transmitting. It's like a

[1:19:35] homing beacon. You know what a homing

[1:19:37] beacon is? It's like you you go up to

[1:19:39] say, "Oh, no, it's here." And you go to

[1:19:40] say, "Oh, no, it's this way." It's like

[1:19:42] that, but it's inside.

[1:19:44] You know

[1:19:46] what you like and what you don't like.

[1:19:48] You know what you want. And if you

[1:19:50] really examine what you want,

[1:19:53] you'll start letting go of the external

[1:19:55] things and recognize what you really

[1:19:58] want

[1:19:59] is what you really want. We don't have

[1:20:01] to name it right now.

[1:20:03] And that's where you find That's where

[1:20:05] you connect more deeply with the inner

[1:20:07] guru.

[1:20:09] And

[1:20:11] that's the deal, you know.

[1:20:14] Yes, I suffered terribly because I was

[1:20:16] feeling Maharaj-ji everywhere until I

[1:20:19] met him.

[1:20:20] Once I met him, I got totally [ __ ]

[1:20:24] When I met him, I fell in love with that

[1:20:25] body.

[1:20:26] But, I was already in love with him

[1:20:28] before I met him. I felt him everywhere

[1:20:30] after I met Ram Dass. I felt him

[1:20:31] everywhere.

[1:20:33] And then I met him physically and I was

[1:20:34] like,

[1:20:35] "Wait a minute.

[1:20:37] How does all that fit inside that little

[1:20:39] body?"

[1:20:40] I couldn't figure it out. It was like a

[1:20:41] whoosh, you know?

[1:20:43] But

[1:20:45] that passed and I fell in love with the

[1:20:46] body and then I suffered when the body

[1:20:48] disappeared.

[1:20:51] But that was my karmas because that's my

[1:20:53] emotional makeup.

[1:20:55] Other people have different

[1:20:56] relationships.

[1:20:57] One time Ramdas was sitting there

[1:21:01] and Maharajji told Dada,

[1:21:04] who was one of his great devotees, he

[1:21:06] says,

[1:21:07] "Go tell Ramdas,

[1:21:09] he understands me perfectly."

[1:21:11] Because Ramdas was sitting towards the

[1:21:13] back and he was thinking, "I never have

[1:21:15] to see him again."

[1:21:17] That's the thought he was having and of

[1:21:19] course Maharajji knew that and so he had

[1:21:21] Dada go

[1:21:22] "Go tell him, he understands me

[1:21:24] perfectly."

[1:21:26] So, it's like that.

[1:21:29] We have this romantic thing we want to

[1:21:30] find a guru, we want to fall in love,

[1:21:32] but that's just [ __ ]

[1:21:34] That's us one once again looking for

[1:21:36] something outside of ourselves.

[1:21:38] Guru is not outside, never has been

[1:21:40] outside.

[1:21:42] Couldn't be outside.

[1:21:44] Within your life, within your heart,

[1:21:47] within your being

[1:21:49] is guru.

[1:21:51] So,

[1:21:54] there's nothing to wait for.

[1:21:56] Go ahead.

[1:21:58] Right?

[1:22:20] Where's the mic, anybody?

[1:22:26] Hello. Hi. I'm Diana. Hello Diana.

[1:22:30] First I want to say

[1:22:32] thank you.

[1:22:33] I want to say you're welcome.

[1:22:36] Um

[1:22:38] and so Spotify did this really fun thing

[1:22:42] last year at the end of the year where

[1:22:44] it gave you all your, you know, your

[1:22:46] most played song and all that stuff.

[1:22:50] And you took the big win for 542

[1:22:55] hours of listening to Krishna Das. You

[1:22:58] did? You did?

[1:23:00] Last year

[1:23:00] >> her a hand. Come on.

[1:23:01] >> 542 hours.

[1:23:05] I don't even listen to me that much.

[1:23:07] >> Yeah, it's a it's a lot. I I it was a

[1:23:10] it was a tough year, so every morning I

[1:23:12] I had made a whole playlist of your

[1:23:15] chants and you have talks just like

[1:23:17] these from 2012, 2013.

[1:23:21] And I would just listen to them every

[1:23:23] morning and listening to all the stories

[1:23:25] over and over. And every time I mean, I

[1:23:27] heard the stories so many times.

[1:23:30] >> Well, think about how many times I heard

[1:23:31] them.

[1:23:34] And um so I just, you know, thank thank

[1:23:37] you for for being who you are. And and

[1:23:39] through that time I realized that right?

[1:23:42] Cuz you're always you say a lot in the

[1:23:44] talks how it's it's not you, you know,

[1:23:46] it's not

[1:23:48] you're not doing anything. Don't believe

[1:23:50] me.

[1:23:52] But you're this conduit, right? Like

[1:23:54] you're the con and I and I finally

[1:23:56] awoken to the to the awareness of the

[1:23:59] presence of oh, it's Maharaji. Like

[1:24:01] that's what I'm that's what I'm feeling.

[1:24:04] Like that's what I'm connecting to by by

[1:24:07] listening to this. So I I came to that

[1:24:10] awareness. So

[1:24:11] >> Cool.

[1:24:12] Very good.

[1:24:12] >> Last year

[1:24:14] I came and I got here late and I walked

[1:24:18] in and you were telling one of my

[1:24:20] favorite stories of

[1:24:22] this time that you were traveling to go

[1:24:25] and see Maharaj. I think it was in

[1:24:26] Brindavan. I think he said something

[1:24:28] like, "Well, I'll see you in Brindavan."

[1:24:29] And and you and you get you finally get

[1:24:32] there. You got detoured and then you

[1:24:34] finally get there and you go in and

[1:24:37] you're like, "Oh, has Maharaj Maharaj

[1:24:38] been here?" You're like, "No, he hasn't

[1:24:39] been here in months." And it was

[1:24:41] "Oh, this is bad." You're going to tell

[1:24:43] the whole story and then No, no, it's

[1:24:44] And then you're going to ask me to tell

[1:24:46] the [ __ ] story after you TOLD IT?

[1:24:48] >> NO, NO, IT LEADS it leads to something

[1:24:50] very good. So, you know, then he

[1:24:52] Surprise me.

[1:24:57] I I was there. I was there. But surprise

[1:24:59] me.

[1:25:00] >> I know, but the story is about how he

[1:25:02] arrives at your most you know, the

[1:25:05] moment of despair. Yes. Like the timing.

[1:25:09] And how he would do that all the time.

[1:25:11] Like how it was play all the time, you

[1:25:13] know? Like he would tell Ram Dass, you

[1:25:15] know, like "Get rid of anger and I'll

[1:25:17] help you." But then orchestrating all

[1:25:19] these things to get Ram Dass to be

[1:25:21] angry.

[1:25:22] >> Yeah, it didn't take much.

[1:25:25] So, the next day

[1:25:27] I have you on in the morning again and

[1:25:29] I'm cleaning my apartment and I'm I'm

[1:25:31] going through trying to give up

[1:25:33] >> cleaning music now. Okay.

[1:25:36] I'm trying to give up sweets, right? I

[1:25:39] have a thing with cookies and I like to

[1:25:41] eat cookies.

[1:25:42] >> So do I. How are you going to give up

[1:25:43] sweets if I can't give up sweets? Well,

[1:25:45] so Okay. you're talking about willpower

[1:25:48] in the talk that was on. Oh, okay.

[1:25:51] And I'm like, "You know what?" And I

[1:25:53] have this cookie and I'm just in my mind

[1:25:55] the whole time I'm cleaning. I'm like,

[1:25:57] "I really want to eat this [ __ ]

[1:25:58] cookie."

[1:26:00] And finally I give in to it and the

[1:26:03] moment the cookie hits my mouth, you say

[1:26:08] on the

[1:26:10] the the the talk, "No more sugar." At

[1:26:13] that exact

[1:26:15] moment as I'm about to eat the cookie

[1:26:18] and I look up and I go, "Maharaji, I

[1:26:22] I know that you're here and you're

[1:26:24] playing with me right now, but I'm still

[1:26:26] going to eat this cookie."

[1:26:29] Very good. So, I just wanted to share

[1:26:32] that because

[1:26:34] I'm so grateful for the stories, right?

[1:26:37] I'm so grateful for the stories and for

[1:26:39] it to again awaken in me this play, this

[1:26:43] lila, and that he's always here

[1:26:46] orchestrating

[1:26:48] and in those moments and that was my

[1:26:50] first direct moment of understanding of

[1:26:53] all right, timing. Cool. So, thank you.

[1:26:55] I just really wanted to share that story

[1:26:57] with you.

[1:26:58] Do you you know that story that she's

[1:27:00] talking about?

[1:27:01] Yeah.

[1:27:02] I'll tell you.

[1:27:03] So,

[1:27:06] we were in Allahabad and at Dada's house

[1:27:10] and

[1:27:11] Ram Dass had arrived recently.

[1:27:15] Um, well, he'd come to Bodh Gaya first

[1:27:17] and then we went later.

[1:27:19] He had been on tour with Swami

[1:27:20] Muktananda

[1:27:22] and he had come to India for his second

[1:27:25] visit with Swami Muktananda and then he

[1:27:27] came up to find Maharaji.

[1:27:31] While he was

[1:27:32] with Swami Muktananda,

[1:27:35] he was invited had been invited to do

[1:27:37] this pilgrimage with him in South India

[1:27:39] and he agreed to do that.

[1:27:42] So, now he he said to Maharaji, he said,

[1:27:46] "You know, I I told Swami Muktananda I I

[1:27:48] would do this pilgrimage with him, but I

[1:27:50] really don't want to go. Do I have to

[1:27:52] go?"

[1:27:53] Maharaji said, "You said you would go,

[1:27:55] you have to go."

[1:27:57] So,

[1:27:58] we me and

[1:28:00] Ramesh and Dwarka and

[1:28:03] somebody, I think just

[1:28:04] and Ram Dass, we all took off.

[1:28:07] And um,

[1:28:09] Maharaji, as we were leaving, Maharaji

[1:28:10] said, "I'll meet you in Vrindavan."

[1:28:12] So, we left Allahabad and on the way

[1:28:15] south, we stopped in Vrindavan.

[1:28:18] But, he wasn't there.

[1:28:19] So, we continued on to the south

[1:28:22] for about

[1:28:23] I don't know, 3 weeks maybe, maybe a

[1:28:25] month, I don't know.

[1:28:26] Traveling around, it was fun.

[1:28:29] And um

[1:28:31] So, now we're heading up north.

[1:28:34] And we're

[1:28:35] we decided we would go to Vrindavan

[1:28:37] because that's where Maharaj said he

[1:28:38] would meet us.

[1:28:40] So, we drive up north and we finally get

[1:28:42] close to Vrindavan, but it's night time.

[1:28:45] And so, we stayed just outside of town

[1:28:49] in Krishna's birthplace. There was a

[1:28:50] little dharmshala.

[1:28:53] And in the morning, we got up

[1:28:56] and we drove

[1:28:57] to Vrindavan on the way to the to the

[1:28:59] temple. I was driving

[1:29:03] and I missed the turn.

[1:29:05] It was a right turn on the the road that

[1:29:07] goes around Vrindavan. It's called the

[1:29:08] parikrama marg.

[1:29:10] It goes around.

[1:29:12] And as a result of missing that turn, we

[1:29:14] got stuck in the bazaar

[1:29:17] in the morning

[1:29:18] with cows and carts and people and

[1:29:21] everywhere was so crazy and narrow

[1:29:24] little road like this and we were like

[1:29:26] uh you know. So, it took 15 minutes to

[1:29:29] get back

[1:29:30] to the spot where I missed the turn and

[1:29:33] then the temple was right there.

[1:29:36] So, we get to the temple.

[1:29:38] We go inside and we ask the the pujari,

[1:29:40] you know,

[1:29:41] "Maharaj here?"

[1:29:43] "No, we haven't heard of from him in

[1:29:45] months. We have no idea where he is."

[1:29:47] "Oh, really?"

[1:29:49] This was bad news. You know, there were

[1:29:51] no phones, no cell phones.

[1:29:54] There were even the the landlines never

[1:29:55] worked.

[1:29:57] What you had telegrams. That's how

[1:29:58] people communicated important things.

[1:30:02] So, somebody would know where Maharaj

[1:30:03] was, they would telegram people and

[1:30:05] everybody would start showing up, you

[1:30:06] know.

[1:30:09] So, what are we going to do? Well, let's

[1:30:10] go to Delhi. Maybe they know where he is

[1:30:12] there. We'll ask We'll go to this guy's

[1:30:14] house and

[1:30:16] So, we go back to the car and I was

[1:30:17] suicidal. I mean, I was like so

[1:30:19] depressed. I just couldn't believe we

[1:30:22] don't know where he is. We'll never find

[1:30:23] him.

[1:30:25] I put the key in the ignition

[1:30:27] and I'm

[1:30:28] just about to turn the key and this

[1:30:30] little Fiat screeches to a halt right

[1:30:32] next to the car.

[1:30:34] And I look and in the passenger seat,

[1:30:37] it's Maharaji.

[1:30:39] And he gets He's right here. He gets out

[1:30:41] of the car

[1:30:43] and he doesn't even look at us.

[1:30:45] And he goes right into the temple. He

[1:30:47] didn't even look at us. We're

[1:30:49] We're just like

[1:30:52] And he goes into the temple. I was huh?

[1:30:55] So, we go in and we had

[1:30:59] three beautiful days with him. It was

[1:31:01] Nobody else was there.

[1:31:03] They hadn't found out he was there yet.

[1:31:05] So, we had a couple of three days.

[1:31:07] Really great.

[1:31:09] Many years later,

[1:31:11] like

[1:31:13] 20 years later,

[1:31:15] I was with this guy, one of his great

[1:31:17] devotees in the Gurudakshana.

[1:31:21] And he says to me, "You remember that

[1:31:23] day that

[1:31:24] the car we arrived with Maharaji? I was

[1:31:26] also in that car."

[1:31:28] I said, "Yeah, yeah, that's Yeah, I

[1:31:29] forgot. Yeah." He said

[1:31:32] He said, "I'll tell you the story," he

[1:31:34] said.

[1:31:35] So, the night before they were in Kanpur

[1:31:37] or Lucknow, some town that's quite far

[1:31:40] away.

[1:31:41] And all the devotees

[1:31:43] were asleep in this big room, big living

[1:31:46] room.

[1:31:47] And in the middle of the night, Maharaji

[1:31:50] tiptoed around everybody and he tried to

[1:31:53] wake Gurudat up.

[1:31:54] But he couldn't wake him up. So, he

[1:31:56] picked him up and he threw him over his

[1:31:58] shoulder

[1:31:59] and he carried him out to the car and

[1:32:01] put him in the back of the car and then

[1:32:03] they took off

[1:32:05] in the middle of the night.

[1:32:07] And Gurudas wakes up at some point and

[1:32:08] goes, "Uh,

[1:32:09] what? You know, where am I?"

[1:32:11] So, he's Gurudas said, "Maharaji kept

[1:32:14] telling the driver, 'Go faster. Go

[1:32:15] faster.' All night long. Faster.

[1:32:18] Faster." And the guy's driving in the

[1:32:20] night, you know, the roads you can't

[1:32:21] see. There's no lights. You can't see

[1:32:23] anything.

[1:32:24] You know, "Faster. Faster." Just outside

[1:32:26] of Vrindavan, he said, "Stop."

[1:32:29] And he pulls over.

[1:32:31] And Gurudas said, "I thought it was a

[1:32:32] pee stop."

[1:32:34] But,

[1:32:35] he just sat there

[1:32:37] for 15 minutes.

[1:32:39] And then he goes,

[1:32:41] "Chalo. Let's go. Faster. Faster." He

[1:32:43] went like this. And he arrived

[1:32:47] just as I'm about to turn the key.

[1:32:52] Now, I don't know

[1:32:56] if

[1:32:58] if that's not enough to crack your mind,

[1:33:01] nothing will ever be enough. So, we

[1:33:03] might as well give up. Good night.

[1:33:08] I mean, come on. He did that on purpose.

[1:33:12] Okay.

[1:33:14] So, he did it on purpose.

[1:33:16] He could do anything. But, why would he

[1:33:19] do that?

[1:33:20] Just to kill us.

[1:33:23] We were in our moment of such despair. I

[1:33:26] can't describe it to you. We've been

[1:33:28] rolling around this, you know, with

[1:33:29] Muktananda and just dreaming of getting

[1:33:32] back to Maharaji.

[1:33:34] And then he's not there. We'll never

[1:33:36] find him. He could be anywhere.

[1:33:38] Sometimes he just disappeared for

[1:33:39] months. He'd go out of the temple. He'd

[1:33:41] say, "I'll be back later." Three months

[1:33:43] later.

[1:33:45] You know.

[1:33:47] So,

[1:33:49] that's the story

[1:33:51] that she's talking about.

[1:33:54] And that was the time that Ram Dass took

[1:33:56] that Maharaji took the acid for the

[1:33:57] second time.

[1:34:00] That's a good story.

[1:34:03] But you don't want to hear that.

[1:34:08] Okay.

[1:34:09] Twist my arm. Go ahead.

[1:34:12] So we're sitting there with Maharaj.

[1:34:15] And he looks around that he said,

[1:34:17] "When you were in India last time, did

[1:34:19] you give me medicine?"

[1:34:21] Ramdas said, "Yes."

[1:34:24] "Did I take it?"

[1:34:26] "I think so."

[1:34:28] Now you see, the backstory is

[1:34:31] the first time,

[1:34:32] you know, Ramdas met Maharaj, the second

[1:34:34] day

[1:34:36] he asked him for the medicine and he

[1:34:37] took enough acid to put a horse on the

[1:34:39] moon and nothing happened.

[1:34:42] So that was really big for Ramdas.

[1:34:46] But when And when he came back to

[1:34:47] America after that, he told everybody

[1:34:50] the story and some people would say,

[1:34:51] "Come on, he's he scammed you. He threw

[1:34:54] it over his shoulder. You know, nobody

[1:34:55] could take that much."

[1:34:57] Now,

[1:34:58] Ramdas didn't think so, but there really

[1:35:01] was a little bit of doubt

[1:35:03] in his mind.

[1:35:05] So Maharaj says, "Did I take it?"

[1:35:08] Ramdas said, "Yes, I think so."

[1:35:11] "Oh,

[1:35:12] got any more?"

[1:35:14] "Yes."

[1:35:16] "Give it to me."

[1:35:17] So Ramdas holds out four hits of Sandoz

[1:35:20] or Owsley acid, the best acid you could

[1:35:23] ever get.

[1:35:24] Maharaj goes like this. He takes a pill,

[1:35:27] he goes

[1:35:37] four times.

[1:35:40] And then he sits there for a minute, he

[1:35:41] says, "Can I drink water? Hot water?

[1:35:44] Cold water? Bring me water."

[1:35:46] He drank some water.

[1:35:48] Then after a couple minutes, he takes

[1:35:49] his blanket

[1:35:50] and he pulls it up over his head.

[1:35:53] And then he goes he opens it up and he

[1:35:55] goes like

[1:35:57] He closes his hand.

[1:36:00] Like this.

[1:36:01] I had never seen a purple human being

[1:36:04] before.

[1:36:05] Ram Dass actually turned purple right

[1:36:08] next to me.

[1:36:10] And he thought, "Oh my god.

[1:36:13] He didn't take it the first time. He

[1:36:15] knew he was trying to prove he could do

[1:36:17] it and now I've killed my guru, you

[1:36:19] know?" And he was like he totally lost

[1:36:21] his mind. The minute he thought it in my

[1:36:23] heart he just laughed and said,

[1:36:26] "This is nothing.

[1:36:28] For a yogi poisons can't affect him.

[1:36:30] This used to grow up in the Kulu Valley,

[1:36:32] you know? And he said, "No problem."

[1:36:34] Like that. It was just like

[1:36:37] He said, "Yogis would go

[1:36:40] they would calm their minds down and

[1:36:42] their bodies and bring their mind to one

[1:36:44] point, then they would take the soma and

[1:36:47] go through the door."

[1:36:51] He say,

[1:36:54] "If the mind is all over the place and

[1:36:56] you take these chemicals, you you just

[1:36:59] like it's like a crapshoot. Anything

[1:37:01] could happen. You go everywhere, all

[1:37:02] these things. But when your mind is at

[1:37:04] one point,

[1:37:06] to bring the mind to one point is not

[1:37:08] easy.

[1:37:10] You can't just put your mind somewhere

[1:37:12] and it'll stay there.

[1:37:13] Our own desires,

[1:37:16] the habits of thinking, the way we treat

[1:37:18] ourselves, our story lines, our whole

[1:37:20] lives are in that moment. And if it's

[1:37:23] not harmonized,

[1:37:25] you can't do it.

[1:37:26] It doesn't happen.

[1:37:28] And when your whole life is in harmony

[1:37:30] and your energy and prana is in harmony

[1:37:33] and you place your mind there and take

[1:37:35] the soma, you go through the door.

[1:37:39] But it's a very narrow door.

[1:37:42] So essentially, Ashtanga Yoga

[1:37:46] is a manual for taking the soma.

[1:37:49] That'll get me in a lot of trouble.

[1:37:55] But that's what he said.

[1:37:56] Yama, yama, yama niyama, asana,

[1:38:00] pranayama,

[1:38:01] pratyahara,

[1:38:02] whatever it is, I don't know all that

[1:38:04] [ __ ]

[1:38:05] But you bring you calm the body, the

[1:38:07] mind, the body, the breath, then you

[1:38:09] bring the mind to one point.

[1:38:12] And then you go through the door and you

[1:38:13] have samadhi.

[1:38:15] And that's all those things.

[1:38:19] So.

[1:38:22] Anybody got any acid?

[1:38:27] I think if I took acid now my arms and

[1:38:29] legs would fall off. I'm just like

[1:38:32] it's weird.

[1:38:35] Ram Dass was thinking about taking a

[1:38:36] hit. He get out of the hospital, he

[1:38:38] almost died in the [ __ ] hospital,

[1:38:39] then comes home and says, "I think I'll

[1:38:40] take some mushrooms."

[1:38:43] We didn't let him do it.

[1:38:50] That wasn't That wasn't too long before

[1:38:52] he left, huh?

[1:38:56] He left the hospital.

[1:38:59] He left the hospital. He was so happy in

[1:39:00] the hospital. Lying in bed, getting

[1:39:03] taken care of. All the nurses and

[1:39:05] doctors would come in to see him. It was

[1:39:07] just great. He was giving darshan in the

[1:39:08] hospital bed.

[1:39:10] So happy.

[1:39:12] He didn't want to leave.

[1:39:21] Hi Katie. Where are you? I'm all the way

[1:39:24] over here. Nice to see you.

[1:39:26] >> Fancy meeting you here. Um

[1:39:28] >> me out.

[1:39:31] So I became a member of the Kirtan Posse

[1:39:33] in January, so maybe everybody else

[1:39:35] knows this. It's more of a curiosity

[1:39:37] than a philosophy question. I've noticed

[1:39:39] you put something in your mouth before

[1:39:41] you start singing, and I'd love to know

[1:39:44] what it is.

[1:39:45] >> Yeah, LSD.

[1:39:49] I got a bet with my husband here, so

[1:39:52] Uh-huh. It's called Ricola.

[1:39:54] It's good for your throat. Awesome. But

[1:39:57] it'll rot your teeth, so brush your

[1:39:58] teeth if you use it. Cool. Thanks. Yeah.

[1:40:01] >> Now I know. Maybe I should have never

[1:40:03] asked.

[1:40:03] >> Maybe not.

[1:40:10] Oh, what a day.

[1:40:14] Anybody else?

[1:40:17] Where are you?

[1:40:18] I don't know. Oh, hi. Who's got the mic?

[1:40:22] Somebody have the mic? Yes. Where are

[1:40:24] you? Oh, back there. Okay. We'll get

[1:40:26] >> Hello. I kind of a follow-up on the

[1:40:28] young Orthodox Jewish lady's question.

[1:40:30] Okay. Um why do you think Maharaji, and

[1:40:34] I know you all you didn't proselytize,

[1:40:36] but why do you think

[1:40:38] he encouraged you to follow his cultural

[1:40:41] way?

[1:40:43] He didn't. I I know I know you'll say

[1:40:45] that, but somehow it happened that

[1:40:47] you're

[1:40:48] you're in his way and not and you know I

[1:40:51] know you know his love for Jesus Yeah.

[1:40:54] and for and your appreciation of the

[1:40:57] Baal Shem Tov

[1:40:59] or Rumi and it could have been

[1:41:02] any of those cultural paths, but it but

[1:41:04] it wasn't. Could have been, but it

[1:41:06] wasn't. Wha- why? I don't know. And

[1:41:10] have you ever had any you 50 years that

[1:41:13] any struggle not that you maybe you

[1:41:16] weren't on the right cultural spiritual

[1:41:19] path?

[1:41:20] Is my question.

[1:41:21] Yeah, thanks, but I don't see it as a

[1:41:23] cultural path at all. It's totally

[1:41:25] personal.

[1:41:26] My relationship with Maharaji is just me

[1:41:28] and him.

[1:41:30] Uh

[1:41:31] we were in India, so we wanted Indian

[1:41:33] names, so he was kind enough to to be

[1:41:35] you know, to give us names, but

[1:41:37] he didn't make us Hindus. We're not

[1:41:39] Hindus. He didn't initiate me. I don't

[1:41:41] have a thread. I didn't ever do any

[1:41:43] ceremony

[1:41:44] making me Hindu. I don't I'm not a

[1:41:45] Hindu. I'm a human being.

[1:41:48] Hopefully.

[1:41:50] I'm working on it. Let's put it that

[1:41:51] way. So, as far as the cultural thing,

[1:41:54] that's not relevant to me. Since you're

[1:41:56] asking me, I'm telling you how I feel

[1:41:58] about it.

[1:41:59] Um

[1:42:01] I see all the different religions and

[1:42:03] paths as as useful and leading to the

[1:42:06] same goal.

[1:42:07] It's just a question of your

[1:42:09] what you what you like. Sometimes you

[1:42:12] feel like an nut, sometimes you don't.

[1:42:14] You know, it it's not a big thing.

[1:42:17] It's natural. I was always attracted to

[1:42:19] India right from day one. I always

[1:42:21] wanted to go there

[1:42:23] and um

[1:42:24] from very early age.

[1:42:26] I

[1:42:28] I felt very

[1:42:29] pulled to that.

[1:42:31] And just

[1:42:32] must have been some kind of memory or

[1:42:34] something, but I don't know why other

[1:42:36] than that.

[1:42:38] It's not exclusive of anything, you

[1:42:40] know, it's not

[1:42:42] My Maharaji had devotees from all

[1:42:44] different religions.

[1:42:46] Christians come to see him, Muslims who

[1:42:48] come to see him, Sikhs who come to see

[1:42:50] him.

[1:42:52] People who didn't believe anything would

[1:42:53] come to see him. I mean, he was open to

[1:42:55] everybody. There was no

[1:42:57] uh

[1:42:59] there was no

[1:43:01] requirements, you know.

[1:43:03] And like somebody was saying with

[1:43:05] grandmother before, he used to say,

[1:43:08] "When you come here to the temple, you

[1:43:10] should feel like you're coming to your

[1:43:11] grandfather's house.

[1:43:13] Everything is given. You don't have to

[1:43:14] do save it to eat. You just come.

[1:43:16] Everything whatever you want."

[1:43:19] And that's the way it felt. It wasn't a

[1:43:21] Hindu temple for us. It was his house.

[1:43:24] You know, it was where he lived. And so

[1:43:27] we that's why we were there.

[1:43:29] Yeah, there were there were rituals that

[1:43:31] were going on, but

[1:43:33] they were nice, but they weren't

[1:43:35] they weren't our main thing, you know,

[1:43:37] our main thing was hanging out with him.

[1:43:39] So.

[1:43:41] Okay? Is that okay?

[1:43:44] I mean, you know, there's just not There

[1:43:46] isn't more to it than that. It's not

[1:43:47] like

[1:43:48] there's some secret meaning in anything.

[1:43:50] It's just

[1:43:52] me and him.

[1:43:54] It was a personal relationship.

[1:43:59] It is personal relationship.

[1:44:01] I remember once I was watching TV late

[1:44:03] at night

[1:44:05] and one of those infomercials came on,

[1:44:07] you know? You know who Tom Landry was?

[1:44:10] He was the first big coach of the Dallas

[1:44:13] Cowboys. Big football coach. Big

[1:44:16] well-known guy.

[1:44:17] So, he comes on this infomercial and he

[1:44:20] asked me

[1:44:21] through the television if I wanted a

[1:44:23] personal relationship with God.

[1:44:28] Yeah.

[1:44:30] He said, "Just call this number.

[1:44:31] 1-800-God."

[1:44:35] So, I called the number.

[1:44:37] And I

[1:44:38] gave him my credit card number.

[1:44:41] And I never got the [ __ ] book.

[1:44:46] Can you believe it?

[1:44:48] I believe it.

[1:44:50] Personal relationship with your credit

[1:44:51] card company.

[1:44:55] But yeah, Maharaji didn't program us

[1:44:57] like that. It wasn't

[1:44:59] It was all open and free.

[1:45:02] He didn't

[1:45:04] force us to be anything. We didn't wear

[1:45:06] the same clothes. We didn't even like

[1:45:07] each other, you know?

[1:45:10] Really.

[1:45:11] Little clicks in the group, you know, we

[1:45:13] don't like those people.

[1:45:15] So,

[1:45:16] so.

[1:45:21] Yeah.

[1:45:24] Where's the mic?

[1:45:25] Okay. Uh hello, my name is Arsh and I

[1:45:28] would like to thank you first for Hold

[1:45:30] the mic a little closer. For

[1:45:32] introducing me to the love

[1:45:34] of God and Maharaj.

[1:45:36] My question is what should one follow?

[1:45:40] Should one follow the mind which is a

[1:45:42] little bit more practical but

[1:45:45] always fills us with regret of not

[1:45:47] following our heart or follow the heart

[1:45:50] that is more rebellious and more It's

[1:45:52] It's a little impractical.

[1:45:57] There's not two things going on inside

[1:45:59] of you. There's just you.

[1:46:01] Figure out who you are and figure out

[1:46:02] what you want and go for it.

[1:46:05] It's

[1:46:06] It's not Are you two different things?

[1:46:08] Do you talk to yourself in different

[1:46:10] languages every day? Today I'll be

[1:46:12] Indian. Tomorrow I'll be American and

[1:46:14] I'll do this.

[1:46:15] It's just you.

[1:46:17] So

[1:46:21] don't panic.

[1:46:23] Calm your ass down.

[1:46:25] Relax.

[1:46:26] Life is going to happen whether you like

[1:46:28] it or not.

[1:46:29] So just be with it and see where it

[1:46:31] takes you and follow your heart.

[1:46:33] Which means not not as opposed to the

[1:46:36] mind.

[1:46:37] The mind is where that interprets the

[1:46:40] feelings that arise. But you your

[1:46:42] intuition what what makes you happy.

[1:46:45] And combination of what makes you happy

[1:46:47] and what you have to do your

[1:46:48] responsibilities. You have to find

[1:46:51] some way to live inside of both of those

[1:46:53] things at the same time.

[1:47:01] There's people up here in front who have

[1:47:03] questions.

[1:47:06] Where's the mic?

[1:47:08] Oh, he's already over there already. All

[1:47:09] right.

[1:47:14] Uh pranam Krishna Das. Thank you for

[1:47:17] just having us all here and I just want

[1:47:19] to thank everybody who's here.

[1:47:22] Yesterday evening when everybody was

[1:47:23] singing and you were singing,

[1:47:26] I felt that everybody is singing

[1:47:30] uh for me to get deeper inside me.

[1:47:34] And it was just magical and I cannot

[1:47:37] express in words. Mhm. Uh so just want

[1:47:39] to thank you.

[1:47:41] Um

[1:47:42] the question I have is

[1:47:44] that I always feel scared of death all

[1:47:47] the time.

[1:47:48] And

[1:47:50] I'm sorry, you missed that. What's that?

[1:47:51] You always

[1:47:52] feel scared of death. Scared of death?

[1:47:56] Death. Uh-huh.

[1:47:57] And when I the more I sit with myself,

[1:48:00] the more I realize death is the only

[1:48:03] reality and it will come to me, my dear

[1:48:05] ones whom I love.

[1:48:07] And I just don't know how to

[1:48:10] deal with that emotion

[1:48:12] and constant fear of death.

[1:48:17] Mhm.

[1:48:32] Wait till you get old.

[1:48:34] Then you really get scared.

[1:48:40] I don't know.

[1:48:43] It sounds like you're more afraid of

[1:48:44] life than death, actually.

[1:48:48] And you're using that to just kind of

[1:48:50] shut yourself down.

[1:48:53] I don't know. I don't know either. How I

[1:48:55] know? It's you.

[1:48:58] But um

[1:49:02] I mean

[1:49:05] you know

[1:49:06] it's inevitable.

[1:49:07] Right? For everybody. Everybody in this

[1:49:09] room going to die.

[1:49:12] Probably.

[1:49:14] Yeah, you see? Everybody's is to go.

[1:49:17] So there's no sense even thinking about

[1:49:19] it.

[1:49:20] Just live every day.

[1:49:22] Make every day the best day of your

[1:49:24] life, though.

[1:49:26] Because

[1:49:28] some time will come you won't be able to

[1:49:30] tell the people you love that you love

[1:49:31] them anymore.

[1:49:33] So,

[1:49:34] take the opportunity now to live fully.

[1:49:38] You know?

[1:49:39] That's This is the shot you have.

[1:49:42] Yeah. So, you might as well take it.

[1:49:45] Right?

[1:49:47] And um

[1:50:03] Death is of the physical body.

[1:50:07] And then we identify with that, so it

[1:50:09] seems

[1:50:10] like a big thing to us.

[1:50:12] Because we identify We think we are our

[1:50:14] bodies, our minds, our emotions, that

[1:50:18] So, if the body's gone, then we're gone.

[1:50:21] What a surprise it's going to be

[1:50:25] that when the body goes, we'll still be

[1:50:26] here.

[1:50:28] At night when you're sleeping,

[1:50:30] your body You're not aware of your body,

[1:50:33] but you're quite

[1:50:36] aware

[1:50:37] and dream You're living in dreams, and

[1:50:39] that seems totally real to you.

[1:50:41] Right? If you die in a dream, you'll

[1:50:44] weep and cry if somebody dies in a

[1:50:46] dream, and then you wake up. Oh, it's

[1:50:47] just a dream.

[1:50:49] Well,

[1:50:52] they say this is a dream, too.

[1:50:55] The one we're stuck in, just like at

[1:50:57] night.

[1:50:58] You That's totally real to you when you

[1:51:00] dream.

[1:51:01] Right?

[1:51:03] If we wake up from this, we say, "Oh,

[1:51:05] I really thought that was real. It's

[1:51:07] just a dream."

[1:51:09] It doesn't make it unimportant.

[1:51:12] It doesn't mean we don't do the best we

[1:51:13] can. It doesn't mean we don't live best

[1:51:16] way we can.

[1:51:18] It doesn't mean we don't treat people

[1:51:19] well, don't treat ourselves well, but

[1:51:27] there's a quality about it.

[1:51:30] It's always changing.

[1:51:35] But inside of all that change, there's a

[1:51:38] thing in in us that's very real.

[1:51:41] Our own true nature.

[1:51:44] Who you really are

[1:51:45] is never is not the dream.

[1:51:48] It's not the experiences we have in the

[1:51:50] daily lives.

[1:51:53] But in order to uh

[1:51:57] become more aware of that, one has to do

[1:52:00] something. One has to look.

[1:52:02] You know.

[1:52:03] It's not

[1:52:27] Like I told you the story at the very

[1:52:29] beginning about that old baba,

[1:52:31] the old yogi.

[1:52:32] And Krishna came to him and said, "Come

[1:52:34] play with me in Vrindavan."

[1:52:36] So, he dropped the body and went to went

[1:52:38] to play with Krishna.

[1:52:39] The body is nothing for him. These great

[1:52:41] beings, they don't

[1:52:43] they're not like us.

[1:52:45] We think this is real.

[1:52:47] You know, we really do.

[1:52:51] So, if this is real,

[1:52:53] if this is our shot, if this is what we

[1:52:56] have,

[1:52:57] then maybe we should do the best we can.

[1:53:00] Right?

[1:53:01] Right now, maybe we should try to

[1:53:03] overcome those kind of fears and really

[1:53:05] live

[1:53:07] and really give ourselves to life and

[1:53:09] really

[1:53:11] open up and and be with the people we

[1:53:13] love and share that love with them and

[1:53:17] don't have so we won't have regrets when

[1:53:19] we take our last breath.

[1:53:21] Right?

[1:53:22] When you take your last breath you're

[1:53:23] going to oh [ __ ] I was so scared of this

[1:53:25] I didn't do [ __ ] all my time.

[1:53:27] And I wanted to watch television I never

[1:53:29] did.

[1:53:31] I was too afraid.

[1:53:33] But you don't want that.

[1:53:34] You want to live now.

[1:53:37] And

[1:53:40] that's how you go through the day.

[1:53:42] That's important.

[1:53:54] Yeah. I mean there's a lot to say about

[1:53:56] that but

[1:53:57] main thing is the quality of your life

[1:54:01] you're responsible for that.

[1:54:04] So

[1:54:06] if you allow if we allow ourselves to be

[1:54:10] paralyzed by fear of one thing or

[1:54:12] another

[1:54:14] it could be death it could be life it

[1:54:15] could be might be afraid of cross the

[1:54:17] street all kinds of things.

[1:54:23] It behooves us

[1:54:25] to work with that stuff you know because

[1:54:27] we can.

[1:54:29] We can.

[1:54:30] You don't have to be victim of that

[1:54:32] stuff.

[1:54:33] That's some

[1:54:35] program that's running in there you know

[1:54:37] some some some story line that

[1:54:41] we get caught in.

[1:54:43] It it doesn't have to be like that. We

[1:54:45] have the power within

[1:54:48] to overcome those kind of things and

[1:54:50] learn to let go of them and

[1:54:53] live good lives

[1:54:56] despite the fact that it's true

[1:54:57] everybody's going to die but what do you

[1:54:59] do?

[1:55:00] You just like stop eating now.

[1:55:03] Well, you can't.

[1:55:05] There's a

[1:55:07] We're impelled by our

[1:55:10] life situation to keep going on.

[1:55:12] So, we should try to go on the best way

[1:55:14] we can.

[1:55:15] Whatever that means to you because

[1:55:17] that's what you have to find. What does

[1:55:18] that mean?

[1:55:20] Yeah. You might live to be 3 million

[1:55:22] years old. You go like, "Shit, when I

[1:55:23] was 40, I was so scared. Now I'm 3

[1:55:26] million, I'm still here. I wasted so

[1:55:28] much time."

[1:55:31] Right?

[1:55:37] It depends, you know, on On the other

[1:55:38] hand, there's there's meditation

[1:55:40] practices where you meditate on the the

[1:55:42] dissolution of the body.

[1:55:45] You you visualize

[1:55:47] the blood and the pus and the goo and

[1:55:50] the the grime and the slime as it

[1:55:54] disintegrates and gets eaten by bacteria

[1:55:56] and worms and

[1:55:58] just this is what

[1:56:00] brings real love to your heart.

[1:56:05] But that's that's the advanced practice.

[1:56:13] So, yeah.

[1:56:19] You can get a vote as to how you go

[1:56:21] through the day.

[1:56:23] But you have to

[1:56:26] Don't try to push the fear away.

[1:56:28] Be with it.

[1:56:30] See where it is. See where it comes

[1:56:32] from.

[1:56:34] Be with it. It'll go away.

[1:56:36] It's just It's a trip your karmas are

[1:56:39] running on you, but you can

[1:56:41] you don't have to be tricked by that.

[1:56:45] Good luck.

[1:56:54] Pranam, Krishna Das. Thank you for your

[1:56:56] grace. You're related to her? Yes. Not

[1:56:59] two questions from one family.

[1:57:03] But as you said, spirituality is an

[1:57:06] personal. It's not a

[1:57:08] family relationship.

[1:57:11] Okay. Uh

[1:57:12] I've started meditating and

[1:57:15] questions are dropping

[1:57:18] from inside.

[1:57:20] But still I have I would like to know a

[1:57:23] bit the more I read about Ram Dass and

[1:57:25] you I feel that you both were very

[1:57:28] different personalities and

[1:57:31] your journeys have been very different

[1:57:33] through in spirituality.

[1:57:36] Uh

[1:57:36] he seems to be more of a meditative kind

[1:57:38] of a person than you more of have a

[1:57:40] surrender and love.

[1:57:42] Uh

[1:57:43] just want to know your

[1:57:46] your your views on it. Like how do you

[1:57:48] see your journey

[1:57:51] and Ram Dass's journey?

[1:57:54] Any interesting stories that in the way

[1:57:57] in the difference between your journey

[1:57:59] and his journey would be also like I

[1:58:01] would love to hear. And he's a lot

[1:58:03] smarter than I am. That's all. That's

[1:58:04] for sure.

[1:58:06] But the journey was the same. It's a

[1:58:08] journey of surrender into Maharaj.

[1:58:11] No different.

[1:58:12] He talked a lot. I sing a lot.

[1:58:16] That's the only difference.

[1:58:18] We're both devotees of Maharaj and both

[1:58:20] of us

[1:58:23] we want to be in that love all the time.

[1:58:27] Same thing.

[1:58:36] He's older.

[1:58:38] Not just physically. I mean you you feel

[1:58:40] he's a

[1:58:42] more

[1:58:44] expansive in a way.

[1:58:47] Maharaj looked at him one day and said

[1:58:50] "Ram Dass, you're the

[1:58:51] commander-in-chief.

[1:58:52] Krishna Dass, you're the general.

[1:58:55] Okay.

[1:58:57] So, he's the commander in chief.

[1:59:01] So, there's

[1:59:03] But, when it came to loving Maharaj, it

[1:59:05] was very He really

[1:59:07] especially in those last years.

[1:59:24] He really melted into him beautifully,

[1:59:26] really.

[1:59:30] One time, uh

[1:59:33] Maybe once in a while he gets stuck in

[1:59:34] his head, you know. One time

[1:59:37] on Monday mornings, they went to the

[1:59:38] beach

[1:59:40] where he was able to get in the water

[1:59:41] and be free of the weight of the body,

[1:59:43] you know, 20 years in a wheelchair.

[1:59:47] Very difficult.

[1:59:48] So, he'd get in the water with these

[1:59:50] tubes and floats and

[1:59:52] be free from the body weight.

[1:59:55] So, I would I would catch up with him

[1:59:56] later in the day cuz I

[1:59:59] sleep late.

[2:00:01] And I So, I get to the beach and I'm

[2:00:03] walking towards the beach and I see he's

[2:00:04] sitting in a car in the other in the

[2:00:06] edge of the parking lot.

[2:00:09] So, I walked over and the door was open

[2:00:13] by his seat.

[2:00:14] And he was just

[2:00:16] stewing. He was just like

[2:00:23] Just sitting there like that. So, I

[2:00:24] stood down for a minute and

[2:00:27] he looked over at me. He goes,

[2:00:29] "I'm a fake.

[2:00:32] And you're a fake, too."

[2:00:35] So, I just looked at him and I said,

[2:00:37] "Yeah,

[2:00:38] but we're real fakes."

[2:00:40] He just

[2:00:41] He just lost it. It was great.

[2:00:50] You know

[2:00:52] about Ram Dass who because he's

[2:00:55] American

[2:00:57] and western

[2:00:59] we don't

[2:01:02] He was a saint.

[2:01:03] He really was.

[2:01:05] He was really

[2:01:09] He was a lotus that grew out of the mud.

[2:01:12] And yeah, there was a lot of mud.

[2:01:14] But he grew out of that mud.

[2:01:16] And it was very beautiful.

[2:01:20] But we have a

[2:01:22] I

[2:01:23] I remember when my friends were going up

[2:01:25] to see him for the first time.

[2:01:27] And they asked me did I want to see this

[2:01:28] guy, you know, Richard Alpert who is now

[2:01:30] Ram Dass. I said, "No.

[2:01:32] No American yogis, what do I care about

[2:01:35] that?

[2:01:37] Once an [ __ ] always an asshole."

[2:01:40] So, there you go.

[2:01:46] Heard of you, Rama? Anybody?

[2:01:50] Where's the mic? Oh, okay.

[2:01:53] Um

[2:01:56] How would you

[2:01:59] describe your um

[2:02:03] experience

[2:02:05] of

[2:02:08] this stuff?

[2:02:09] Of what?

[2:02:11] This stuff, Maharaji, your time in India

[2:02:15] um

[2:02:16] between coming back from India

[2:02:20] and um

[2:02:23] having the the experience, the idea that

[2:02:26] you wanted to sing with people.

[2:02:28] I've always been curious about

[2:02:31] how these teachings felt to you

[2:02:34] in that time in between.

[2:02:38] I was suicidal a lot of time.

[2:02:41] Very depressed.

[2:02:43] Very unhappy.

[2:02:46] Because being with Maharajji I I I

[2:02:49] experienced love

[2:02:51] in a way I'd never experienced it

[2:02:52] before.

[2:02:54] And I got attached to his body.

[2:02:57] So when the body wasn't there, where was

[2:02:58] I going to find that love?

[2:03:01] It wasn't I wasn't going to find it

[2:03:02] anywhere.

[2:03:04] I had lost it and it was gone.

[2:03:08] Ultimately gone.

[2:03:10] There was no second coming. It was over.

[2:03:14] It was brutal for me.

[2:03:16] It took me a long time.

[2:03:20] And then they saved me. I didn't I

[2:03:22] couldn't save myself. They saved me.

[2:03:24] He came back to me and opened me up

[2:03:26] again.

[2:03:31] I I I was helpless.

[2:03:33] I'm still helpless. I just look like I'm

[2:03:34] not.

[2:03:36] I can't do [ __ ]

[2:03:38] It's all them. I don't have I'm I can

[2:03:40] sing a little bit.

[2:03:43] That's it.

[2:03:45] They they saved me.

[2:03:47] In

[2:03:48] 1984

[2:03:50] Was it four?

[2:03:51] 1984, yeah. 1995.

[2:03:54] No, 90 80 No, no, no.

[2:03:58] Something Some year around there.

[2:04:02] It's in my book.

[2:04:06] The whole story.

[2:04:08] He came back and he opened me up and

[2:04:09] that was like being born again.

[2:04:12] It's like

[2:04:13] okay, let the kid live.

[2:04:16] But I was helpless.

[2:04:20] I really was. I couldn't do it.

[2:04:23] There was nobody in

[2:04:25] my my family, my life. There was nobody

[2:04:28] doing anything.

[2:04:30] I had no

[2:04:31] examples of anybody taking care of

[2:04:33] themselves.

[2:04:36] It was really

[2:04:38] bleak

[2:04:39] for a lot of years.

[2:04:42] And the suffering that I caused other

[2:04:44] people because I was so unhappy it was

[2:04:47] also

[2:04:48] terrible.

[2:04:50] But I couldn't help myself.

[2:04:55] What can I say?

[2:04:56] And then they just they just boom and

[2:04:58] then it all changed.

[2:05:05] And it's not like I'm not saying I

[2:05:06] deserve that.

[2:05:08] That would be

[2:05:10] ridiculous.

[2:05:11] Grace is grace. Nobody deserves grace or

[2:05:14] it wouldn't be grace.

[2:05:16] It would be something you earned.

[2:05:18] But grace

[2:05:19] is causeless. It just happens.

[2:05:23] And it happened.

[2:05:25] And I happened to be there.

[2:05:27] And here we are.

[2:05:30] That's the deal.

[2:05:35] So when I say it's difficult

[2:05:39] to get this together and do something

[2:05:41] that's actually good for ourselves, I

[2:05:43] mean it.

[2:05:46] It's difficult. It's very hard

[2:05:49] to overcome the flow of stupidity that

[2:05:51] we call life.

[2:05:53] You know.

[2:05:55] Bouncing off of this, bouncing off of

[2:05:57] that, day after day.

[2:05:59] Never waking up, never taking care of

[2:06:01] ourselves, never going after the things

[2:06:03] we want.

[2:06:07] That's what we do.

[2:06:09] Oh, this is terrible.

[2:06:12] I apologize.

[2:06:15] What to do? You push a button, you get

[2:06:17] what you get. Nothing I can do about it.

[2:06:20] Yeah.

[2:06:24] Oh, wait. Wait. You don't have the

[2:06:25] microphone. You can't talk.

[2:06:26] >> The mic happens to be here.

[2:06:28] You'll get it, okay?

[2:06:30] Just wait your turn. Okay.

[2:06:33] Where's the mic?

[2:06:34] Ah.

[2:06:35] Hello. Hi.

[2:06:36] Um

[2:06:37] could you speak a bit more about

[2:06:40] the context when Maharaji shared courage

[2:06:44] is a real big thing?

[2:06:45] >> just say one thing about that whole rant

[2:06:47] I just did.

[2:06:49] Even all through that,

[2:06:53] the longing

[2:06:55] to be in his presence

[2:06:57] was fiercely, deeply

[2:07:01] intense.

[2:07:02] It never went away for a second.

[2:07:05] So,

[2:07:08] I'm just saying it's not like I was just

[2:07:10] sitting around [ __ ] off.

[2:07:12] I was burning

[2:07:14] with longing.

[2:07:16] And he came.

[2:07:19] Okay?

[2:07:22] Yeah.

[2:07:24] Um you

[2:07:26] have been sharing Maharaji saying

[2:07:29] courage is a real big thing.

[2:07:33] Can you talk a bit more about that? What

[2:07:35] don't you understand?

[2:07:38] What what's what's I mean if there's a

[2:07:41] simple statement, that's it.

[2:07:44] You know, when he said that to me, the

[2:07:46] Indian guy said, "Oh, Baba, God takes

[2:07:48] care of his devotees."

[2:07:51] Courage is a really big thing. Sometimes

[2:07:53] it's all you you had just have to go for

[2:07:55] it. Okay. How did you

[2:07:58] collect it and

[2:08:01] just

[2:08:05] How did you take the leap?

[2:08:07] I didn't, you know. Every time I was

[2:08:10] just about to step off the cliff, he

[2:08:11] he'd move the cliff.

[2:08:14] You know, but I was

[2:08:15] what could I do? I was just [ __ ] up

[2:08:17] day after day after day. Every time I

[2:08:19] [ __ ] up, he unfuck it.

[2:08:22] But you just got to go [ __ ] up. You

[2:08:24] can't do anything else.

[2:08:27] You want it, go for it.

[2:08:29] That's the thing.

[2:08:30] One of the things that happened was the

[2:08:32] the when I was with that young Baba, the

[2:08:35] 163-year-old guy.

[2:08:39] One day he looked at me and he said

[2:08:42] he made this face and he goes

[2:08:45] you have to develop willpower.

[2:08:47] And I thought to myself, willpower? What

[2:08:50] do I need that for? Then he made a

[2:08:52] bigger face

[2:08:54] cuz he heard he knew my thought he

[2:08:55] heard. And then he did something

[2:08:58] and he showed me

[2:09:00] what he was seeing in me.

[2:09:02] And then I made a face

[2:09:04] because I saw me and I wasn't doing

[2:09:07] anything. I wasn't going after the

[2:09:08] things I wanted

[2:09:10] in life.

[2:09:14] I was just floating.

[2:09:16] And then I saw this just my life, you

[2:09:19] know, this not like

[2:09:20] worldly life and spiritual life. This

[2:09:22] just me and I'm not doing [ __ ] How do I

[2:09:24] expect something to happen in this world

[2:09:27] if it's not happening

[2:09:28] if I'm not going after stuff.

[2:09:30] And I thought, you know

[2:09:33] willpower, you want something

[2:09:35] you want the ice cream in the freezer.

[2:09:37] So your hand, your arm, your will picks

[2:09:40] up your arm, you open the door, you take

[2:09:42] the ice cream and you throw it in your

[2:09:43] face, you know.

[2:09:46] You desire

[2:09:47] and the will, the word for which

[2:09:49] willpower is icchā śakti,

[2:09:52] the power to realize your desires.

[2:09:55] So why wouldn't you do that?

[2:09:59] Courage, you need courage.

[2:10:02] That's what he was telling me. I wasn't

[2:10:03] doing it.

[2:10:05] And that's what he said, you need

[2:10:07] courage to go after the things you want.

[2:10:11] Nobody can do it for you.

[2:10:14] That's the good news and bad news.

[2:10:21] Get that guy in the back before he has a

[2:10:23] conniption.

[2:10:27] Can What a word is conniption, right?

[2:10:29] That's a great word.

[2:10:30] I haven't heard that since I said it

[2:10:32] last time, 40 years ago.

[2:10:35] Hi.

[2:10:39] Hello. My name is

[2:10:42] Yeah.

[2:10:43] My name is Yianni L

[2:10:46] and Just a little closer. That's all.

[2:10:48] >> no.

[2:10:50] And I want to ask for a moment of

[2:10:53] silence

[2:10:55] for 250 people who just got killed in

[2:11:00] Israel in the last day,

[2:11:03] 1,500

[2:11:04] wounded from the attacks of the Hamas.

[2:11:09] Not only in Israel, all over the world

[2:11:12] people get wounded, people get killed.

[2:11:16] So, I would ask for a moment of silence

[2:11:20] for their memory. Thank you.

[2:11:23] Okay.

[2:12:51] >> Hi Katie. Um

[2:12:54] I've been uh

[2:12:56] listening to you since COVID and you've

[2:12:59] brought me a lot of comfort particularly

[2:13:02] your personal stories as I feel like I

[2:13:05] really relate to some of the despair and

[2:13:08] uh

[2:13:11] difficulty that you've had um

[2:13:15] bringing yourself into a space of more

[2:13:17] peace and awareness.

[2:13:19] And um

[2:13:21] yeah, I think I was just

[2:13:24] wanted to ask if you other than chanting

[2:13:27] the name

[2:13:28] if you have any other

[2:13:30] suggestions for someone who's working as

[2:13:33] actively as possible to develop more of

[2:13:36] that kind of awareness.

[2:13:38] Thanks.

[2:14:06] You just follow your heart as best you

[2:14:07] can

[2:14:09] to lead you

[2:14:11] back to yourself.

[2:14:15] Maharaji never encouraged us to do

[2:14:17] practice for our own sake.

[2:14:21] He never encouraged us to do practice at

[2:14:22] all.

[2:14:24] He said

[2:14:26] we asked him, "How do you find God?" He

[2:14:27] said, "Serve people."

[2:14:30] What?

[2:14:31] How do you raise kundalini? Feed people.

[2:14:34] What?

[2:14:37] He never encouraged us to think about

[2:14:39] ourselves.

[2:14:40] But all we do

[2:14:42] is think about ourselves.

[2:14:46] So,

[2:14:47] don't.

[2:14:50] How not? Well, that's where practice

[2:14:52] comes in.

[2:14:56] All we do is think about ourselves all

[2:14:58] life long.

[2:15:00] And then

[2:15:01] we dream about ourselves.

[2:15:03] Then we take another body and do it

[2:15:04] again.

[2:15:08] So, now we're here, we have some idea

[2:15:12] of what we're doing to ourselves.

[2:15:15] So, let's do something else.

[2:15:18] Let's look into this a little bit.

[2:15:23] How do you want to go through your life?

[2:15:24] How do you What do you want to feel?

[2:15:28] And how to overcome all the things that

[2:15:30] prevent us from having that love and

[2:15:32] living in that love.

[2:15:35] If we don't do it, it's not going to

[2:15:36] happen.

[2:15:38] It's not like you have to manufacture

[2:15:40] the love. The love is always here. We

[2:15:42] just have to stop turning away from it.

[2:15:47] We have to look towards it.

[2:15:50] And it's inside already.

[2:15:54] But it's all the stories,

[2:15:56] all that stuff we cover it up with,

[2:15:59] which we believe totally, much more than

[2:16:01] we believe the love is there. We believe

[2:16:03] all the stories, which is why And never

[2:16:05] get underneath them, why we can't let

[2:16:07] go.

[2:16:08] So, when you're chanting,

[2:16:10] you're asked to do one thing, chant.

[2:16:14] You can't.

[2:16:15] You're thinking about this. You're

[2:16:16] thinking about that. Oh, say, then you

[2:16:18] come back for a millisecond. Then you're

[2:16:20] gone again.

[2:16:21] Then you come back for a millisecond.

[2:16:23] Then you're gone again.

[2:16:24] Then a week later you come back for a

[2:16:26] millisecond. Then you're gone again.

[2:16:28] Every time you come back, the neural

[2:16:30] pathways in the brain get a little

[2:16:31] deeper.

[2:16:33] And theoretically, it gets a little

[2:16:34] easier.

[2:16:36] You just keep coming back again and

[2:16:38] again, and little by little

[2:16:40] we get more familiar with what it means

[2:16:42] to be here.

[2:16:44] And then we look out at the world and we

[2:16:47] see other people.

[2:16:50] And um

[2:16:52] we see how hard it is for me to get this

[2:16:55] together. How hard it must be for them.

[2:16:58] And then you start to feel some kindness

[2:17:00] and compassion for others.

[2:17:02] And then you're thinking about yourself

[2:17:03] less, so you feel better.

[2:17:06] And it's a cycle.

[2:17:09] And then it becomes easier to help other

[2:17:11] people

[2:17:12] because you're thinking about them and

[2:17:14] not yourself.

[2:17:18] And you see what people do to

[2:17:19] themselves.

[2:17:21] You don't see that until you see what

[2:17:22] you do to yourself.

[2:17:26] So,

[2:17:29] little by little.

[2:17:48] Ram Dass used to say how the stroke

[2:17:50] saved him.

[2:17:52] You know,

[2:17:53] very hard.

[2:17:55] He suffered terribly. He never

[2:17:56] complained.

[2:17:58] But he used to say how the stroke saved

[2:18:00] him. He had this core

[2:18:03] of stuff he just could not get to.

[2:18:06] And it was pushing him around

[2:18:09] and keeping him

[2:18:14] in not the best place.

[2:18:17] But when he had the stroke,

[2:18:19] he had no option. There was no escape.

[2:18:23] It was over. The door was closed.

[2:18:26] He He was He couldn't do anything for

[2:18:29] himself.

[2:18:30] He couldn't eat. He couldn't

[2:18:33] Yeah, he couldn't turn himself in bed

[2:18:35] anymore. He couldn't get from the chair

[2:18:36] to the wheelchair. Couldn't wipe his own

[2:18:39] ass. He couldn't do anything. He had to

[2:18:41] surrender again and again, more and

[2:18:44] more. And he kept surrendering

[2:18:48] and he found Maharaj-ji.

[2:18:51] Without the stroke, that wouldn't have

[2:18:53] happened for him.

[2:18:55] And he knew it.

[2:18:57] And at first he used to say, "It was

[2:18:59] fierce grace. Maharaj-ji stroked him."

[2:19:03] But when he went to India, the only time

[2:19:05] he went after the stroke, Siddha Ma

[2:19:08] immediately said to him, "Ram Dass,

[2:19:10] Maharaj-ji didn't give you the stroke.

[2:19:13] He wouldn't ever do anything like that.

[2:19:15] The stroke is your karmas.

[2:19:19] What he gives you is the grace and the

[2:19:22] strength

[2:19:23] to overcome the effects of those

[2:19:25] karmas."

[2:19:28] And

[2:19:29] really enter into a deeper space. And he

[2:19:32] did.

[2:19:34] He was a real hero.

[2:19:59] Um

[2:20:01] >> I don't have the mic. Don't look at me.

[2:20:04] Hello. Where are you?

[2:20:06] Ah.

[2:20:07] I have a question um

[2:20:09] to you about psychedelics.

[2:20:12] Mhm. Do you believe this is an eligible

[2:20:15] tool for spiritual growth?

[2:20:20] I believe I wouldn't be here if it

[2:20:21] wasn't for psychedelics.

[2:20:24] I took peyote after my junior year in

[2:20:26] high school

[2:20:28] and it totally ruined my life.

[2:20:32] Cuz I couldn't get any more.

[2:20:34] Uh it showed me, you know, I had this I

[2:20:37] I had no doubt what I was experiencing

[2:20:40] was

[2:20:41] infinitely more real than Long Island.

[2:20:47] So, it wasn't that big a jump, you know.

[2:20:51] But, um there's no doubt that

[2:20:53] psychedelics can

[2:20:55] give you a glimpse into different

[2:20:57] dimensions.

[2:20:59] But,

[2:21:00] do they destroy

[2:21:02] the karmas that create your own

[2:21:04] suffering?

[2:21:05] I don't think so.

[2:21:08] Maharaji himself said

[2:21:11] the yogi medicine, LSD,

[2:21:13] brings you into the room with Christ.

[2:21:16] But, you can't stay.

[2:21:21] If you don't mind

[2:21:22] keep getting thrown out of it on your

[2:21:24] ass, then keep doing it.

[2:21:25] But, eventually you'll want to stay in

[2:21:27] the room.

[2:21:28] And the way to do it, he said, is love.

[2:21:32] So,

[2:21:33] he was very clear about that. He wasn't

[2:21:35] judgemental about it. In fact, he told

[2:21:37] Raghu to give it to his father

[2:21:39] when he was there.

[2:21:42] Give him a dose of the yogi medicine.

[2:21:45] And it changed his life.

[2:21:47] And

[2:21:49] you know,

[2:21:51] that's all I can say. I mean, I think

[2:21:52] it's it can be useful.

[2:21:54] It can show those of us who are totally

[2:21:57] locked into the physical, emotional,

[2:22:00] mental reality that there's other

[2:22:01] realities.

[2:22:03] But,

[2:22:04] can you stay there?

[2:22:07] I don't think so. Even if you dose

[2:22:09] yourself every day,

[2:22:11] sooner or later, you'll get your body

[2:22:13] will fall apart and that'll be that. You

[2:22:14] have to start again somewhere.

[2:22:17] So,

[2:22:18] the question is does it destroy the root

[2:22:20] of suffering? And I don't think the

[2:22:22] answer is yes. I think it's no. I don't

[2:22:25] think it does.

[2:22:26] But, that's what I know.

[2:22:28] I don't know.

[2:22:29] Ram Dass?

[2:22:33] I'm pretty sure he would agree with me.

[2:22:39] He took He was on acid when he had the

[2:22:41] stroke.

[2:22:43] And because he was on acid, he didn't

[2:22:45] realize he had a stroke.

[2:22:47] He had taken the acid and he said,

[2:22:49] "Okay, now I have to write a book on on

[2:22:50] aging. Let me

[2:22:53] Let me imagine that I'm I'm old."

[2:22:56] And he took the stroke and he was He

[2:22:58] took the acid and he was, you know, and

[2:23:01] then while he was on the acid, he he had

[2:23:02] a stroke.

[2:23:04] But, he had stopped taking his blood

[2:23:07] pressure medicine

[2:23:09] before that.

[2:23:10] So, his blood pressure went through the

[2:23:12] roof and he had a stroke.

[2:23:15] That's karma.

[2:23:18] He stopped taking the medicine. He was

[2:23:19] going to start Chinese medicine, but he

[2:23:22] never did.

[2:23:23] And the days went by.

[2:23:25] Boom. Boom. Boom.

[2:23:30] So,

[2:23:39] sometimes karmas just make us do things

[2:23:41] that

[2:23:43] we don't even realize what we're doing.

[2:23:47] Where

[2:23:48] we

[2:23:53] We think we know what we're doing.

[2:23:56] But, we don't.

[2:23:58] We don't realize

[2:23:59] the results of our actions, what they

[2:24:01] could be.

[2:24:03] Of course, how do we?

[2:24:05] But,

[2:24:12] like Maharaji said, for Yogi, no poison

[2:24:14] can affect him. He is beyond

[2:24:17] those things. He's beyond those states.

[2:24:21] Maharaji was.

[2:24:24] So, he knew what he was talking about.

[2:24:27] And that's what he said, he can bring

[2:24:29] you into the room with Christ.

[2:24:31] That sounds good. But, you can't stay.

[2:24:35] That sounds bad.

[2:24:37] If you want to stay, the way is love.

[2:24:40] That sounds good.

[2:24:42] So, that's the deal, as far as I can

[2:24:44] tell.

[2:24:53] But, I think, you know, this microdosing

[2:24:54] thing, I think it's it's probable that

[2:24:56] it can be helpful

[2:24:58] uh

[2:25:00] disentangling some of the uh

[2:25:03] the knee-jerk emotional issues that we

[2:25:06] have. Maybe it gives it can give insight

[2:25:09] into some of those things, which would

[2:25:11] free you from some of that stuff.

[2:25:13] But,

[2:25:17] but who knows in the long run what it

[2:25:21] does.

[2:25:24] I found that it crippled my will.

[2:25:29] Without realizing it, I mean, of course,

[2:25:31] I was dosing myself every day.

[2:25:35] I would take peyote all week, and then

[2:25:37] at the end in the weekends, I would hit

[2:25:39] myself with 1,000 mics of sandos acid.

[2:25:43] And just be 36 hours in bliss.

[2:25:49] And I was lying on my bed one day

[2:25:52] kind of coming back and

[2:25:54] just gazing out the window.

[2:25:58] And I felt something coming towards me.

[2:26:03] What is this?

[2:26:05] Coming closer and closer. What is this?

[2:26:09] What what what? Oh no, a thought.

[2:26:13] And then I was thinking.

[2:26:16] And then it was leaving. Don't go. Don't

[2:26:19] go. Don't

[2:26:21] Uh.

[2:26:23] And then sometime later

[2:26:28] No. No. You know, slowly

[2:26:31] more quickly

[2:26:32] and then all there was was a flow of

[2:26:34] thought again.

[2:26:36] I was back.

[2:26:38] I was down.

[2:26:41] It was amazing.

[2:26:55] Yeah.

[2:26:57] Hi Katie. Hi. I'm wearing my Foreigner

[2:26:59] shirt for you.

[2:27:01] I Want to Know What Love Is was my mom's

[2:27:03] favorite song. So when you were singing

[2:27:05] that, I love it. And I'll make this

[2:27:07] really quick. When I found it, I went

[2:27:09] into this like

[2:27:10] music store in Nyack and I had seen it

[2:27:14] somewhere else and then I saw a guitar

[2:27:17] that was named where I lived in Laurel

[2:27:19] Canyon and I had recently lost my home

[2:27:21] in Laurel Canyon to mold, which is part

[2:27:24] of where my question's going to go.

[2:27:26] Um

[2:27:27] and then the guy in the store, we

[2:27:29] somehow wound up talking and he's like

[2:27:31] did all these paintings of rock stars.

[2:27:34] And then he had like a painting of Neem

[2:27:35] Karoli Baba.

[2:27:38] So I had to go back and get the shirt

[2:27:40] of foreigner because it all linked to me

[2:27:42] that day. But, I had recently lost my

[2:27:44] home from mold, like my dream home. Oh,

[2:27:47] man. And I left, I came back um here, my

[2:27:51] dad's here. He's having health issues.

[2:27:53] Basically, my question is um

[2:27:56] I

[2:27:56] What do you do when you feel like you've

[2:27:58] lost everything? Like I've heard you

[2:28:01] describe it as it's all like burning

[2:28:02] away. It feels like that.

[2:28:05] And you're in just like an anxiety of

[2:28:08] like so much anxiety with a transition.

[2:28:11] And I do my practice, I've been chanting

[2:28:13] with you for for years every Thursday. I

[2:28:16] study yoga, I a martial artist. I I have

[2:28:19] tools, but the anxiety is like so

[2:28:21] strong. Mhm.

[2:28:24] That's if you have any advice.

[2:28:27] Yeah.

[2:28:33] There's a really interesting book by a

[2:28:35] Tibetan lama. His name is Mingyur

[2:28:37] Rinpoche.

[2:28:39] And the book is called the joy of

[2:28:42] What is it?

[2:28:44] Living?

[2:28:45] Joy of living?

[2:28:46] Yeah. Joy of living.

[2:28:48] And he he describes how as a child

[2:28:52] he was having these incredible panic

[2:28:54] attacks.

[2:28:56] Paralyzing attacks. And he was

[2:28:59] recognized as a reincarnated lama like

[2:29:02] at three

[2:29:03] and treated like a prince his whole

[2:29:05] life.

[2:29:06] But, he was having these panic attacks.

[2:29:08] And he writes very beautifully about how

[2:29:11] he worked with that, how he overcame

[2:29:14] them. And maybe I think that'll help

[2:29:15] you.

[2:29:17] Um

[2:29:20] This These There's a lot of these these

[2:29:24] those kind of

[2:29:27] those issues

[2:29:29] very deep, very hard to deal with cuz

[2:29:31] they're so

[2:29:33] knee-jerky. They don't You don't think

[2:29:35] about They hit you, you know, and

[2:29:37] how to deal with that underlying

[2:29:39] anxiety, that fear.

[2:29:42] But, um sometimes chanting and

[2:29:45] practice is not enough, you know?

[2:29:47] Sometimes you have to go talk to

[2:29:48] somebody

[2:29:49] who has a way

[2:29:50] of helping you through

[2:29:53] getting a relationship with it, getting

[2:29:55] learning about it.

[2:29:57] Finding space with it is very big thing.

[2:30:00] You know, the Lama talks about that.

[2:30:02] Very good.

[2:30:05] There's no quick button to push.

[2:30:08] This is This is this moment.

[2:30:11] And, um

[2:30:14] one of the things he says is that it

[2:30:16] wasn't so much the the panic attack

[2:30:18] itself.

[2:30:19] It was the fear about the panic attack.

[2:30:23] That was more paralyzing, in a way.

[2:30:27] So,

[2:30:28] there's a lot to be said about this, but

[2:30:30] And there are people who really deal

[2:30:31] with this thing. So, I would

[2:30:33] whatever is going to help you, go for

[2:30:34] it, you know? Don't Don't just say, "I'm

[2:30:36] a yogi. I don't do that shit." You know?

[2:30:39] The therapist can be a yogi who does

[2:30:41] that [ __ ]

[2:30:42] So, it might be good.

[2:30:46] So,

[2:30:47] you can't meditate yourself away.

[2:30:50] You know?

[2:30:51] You want to get here.

[2:30:54] And on the way here, there's all kinds

[2:30:56] of obstacles. And one of these obstacles

[2:30:58] is your anxiety.

[2:31:00] So,

[2:31:01] there's so many ways to deal with these

[2:31:03] things, but

[2:31:06] one of the Lamas I study with talks

[2:31:08] about the handshake practice.

[2:31:10] So, when you feel that anxiety coming

[2:31:12] on,

[2:31:14] you go,

[2:31:16] "Oh, hi.

[2:31:18] How you doing? I I know you, don't I?

[2:31:21] Yeah, you were here just yesterday,

[2:31:22] right? Yeah. Well,

[2:31:25] you want some tea? Come on in, you know?

[2:31:27] Have a seat. What's up? You know.

[2:31:29] And the minute you you see it,

[2:31:33] you're already, you know,

[2:31:36] not in it the same way.

[2:31:39] But it's

[2:31:42] that kind of practice, you have to be

[2:31:44] right on it, you know. Once it hits you,

[2:31:46] like anger or fear or shame, one of

[2:31:49] those when those things hit you and

[2:31:51] you're in it, there's very little you

[2:31:52] can do except suffer

[2:31:54] until it it decides to go.

[2:31:56] But if you can catch it early enough,

[2:32:00] Oh, hi. Yeah.

[2:32:02] That's you? Okay. Yeah, I know you.

[2:32:04] Yeah, you were just here. [ __ ] you. Come

[2:32:06] back, you know.

[2:32:07] Yeah, have a seat.

[2:32:09] And then you lose some of your fear

[2:32:11] about it, you know, cuz that's

[2:32:13] cuz not only are you you have the

[2:32:15] anxiety, but you have anxiety about

[2:32:17] anxiety.

[2:32:18] And that just like, you know, that's a

[2:32:20] double whammy.

[2:32:22] So.

[2:32:29] How long am I supposed to stop this

[2:32:31] torture?

[2:32:35] It's been a very unusual afternoon, I

[2:32:37] have to tell you.

[2:32:39] I'm not cranky, but I don't know what I

[2:32:40] am today, anyhow.

[2:32:42] Where's the mic?

[2:32:45] And there's another way to deal with

[2:32:47] this. Sitting in the back of the room is

[2:32:48] David Nicturn,

[2:32:50] who has a uh

[2:32:52] Dharma Moon

[2:32:54] meditation

[2:32:56] organization, and they teach and train

[2:32:59] in mindfulness and meditation.

[2:33:01] Very good organization, good practice,

[2:33:03] good teaching.

[2:33:05] And you can look that up,

[2:33:06] dharmamoon.com.

[2:33:09] And uh

[2:33:10] they know how to how to share that

[2:33:12] practice and how to open it up for you.

[2:33:16] And uh

[2:33:21] The mindfulness practice is a very

[2:33:23] powerful practice.

[2:33:25] And uh they they're very good at

[2:33:26] teaching that and sharing that. So, if

[2:33:28] you're interested in that, you can go to

[2:33:30] dharmamoon.com.

[2:33:41] Hello. Where are you? Hi. Ah, you got

[2:33:43] the mic. How did you do that?

[2:33:46] Um I have to write this down cuz I'm

[2:33:48] really nervous. You what?

[2:33:50] Um some sometimes people have come into

[2:33:54] my life

[2:33:56] if I'm doing hobbies or I'm doing my

[2:33:59] volunteer work

[2:34:01] and I start getting a feeling of

[2:34:03] insecurity.

[2:34:04] Um like this feeling that I'm going to

[2:34:06] be be replaced

[2:34:09] um for whatever the reason.

[2:34:12] Um and it's a very overwhelming feeling

[2:34:15] in real time even though I have a

[2:34:17] practice and um

[2:34:19] but it feels like I'm sinking in

[2:34:21] quicksand. It gets so

[2:34:23] overwhelming.

[2:34:25] Um and my question was when you were in

[2:34:28] the presence of Maharaj and his devotees

[2:34:31] and probably a lot of people coming and

[2:34:33] going

[2:34:35] um and searching for his attention

[2:34:39] did you ever have a insecurity like that

[2:34:42] or know of people who had insecurities

[2:34:45] like that?

[2:34:46] And if you did, what were some tools you

[2:34:49] did to overcome them?

[2:34:57] Why do you think I tell people not to

[2:34:59] quit their day jobs?

[2:35:01] I don't want any competition.

[2:35:04] They'll take my job.

[2:35:08] I I don't know why I mean I don't know

[2:35:10] how to apply that what you one part of

[2:35:14] your question to the Maharaj thing. I

[2:35:15] mean that was

[2:35:17] we weren't insecure. We would kill

[2:35:19] anybody who got between us and his feet.

[2:35:22] I mean, you know,

[2:35:24] fighting, you know, to get there.

[2:35:26] But, that wasn't insecurity. That was

[2:35:28] just

[2:35:29] lust.

[2:35:31] Lust for the feet.

[2:35:35] Of the guru.

[2:35:38] And he would just laugh. He would say,

[2:35:39] he'd say, "I have the keys to the mind.

[2:35:43] I could turn your minds against me."

[2:35:46] No, don't do that, you know.

[2:35:48] He'd say, "I'll transfer you."

[2:35:50] Transfer ho jayega. No, Baba, don't do

[2:35:52] that. He would laugh.

[2:35:54] But, he did. He transferred every single

[2:35:56] one of us.

[2:35:57] Back to America. Wherever we came from.

[2:36:02] What to do?

[2:36:04] Um

[2:36:06] I I don't know what that has to do with

[2:36:07] job security.

[2:36:09] You know, I'm not quite getting that

[2:36:11] com- that connection.

[2:36:13] You want to help me with that?

[2:36:18] It's just a feeling that somebody comes

[2:36:20] along who might be better

[2:36:23] Uh-huh. smarter than me. Mhm.

[2:36:26] Um

[2:36:27] in my heart it it happens in things that

[2:36:30] I like to do.

[2:36:32] >> Mhm.

[2:36:32] >> Like I like to go scuba diving. And

[2:36:34] there are other people that come along.

[2:36:37] There's not enough water? There's

[2:36:40] water, exactly.

[2:36:42] Um or it's in my I do a lot of volunteer

[2:36:46] work that is There's always somebody to

[2:36:48] help. Don't worry about it.

[2:36:51] You can help me.

[2:36:52] I need help.

[2:36:55] I just I feel

[2:36:58] I feel replaced. I feel like somebody

[2:37:01] comes along and that spotlight is on

[2:37:05] them.

[2:37:06] And

[2:37:08] I don't find where I fit anymore.

[2:37:13] And

[2:37:15] it makes me avoid doing the things that

[2:37:19] I love to do and makes me avoid doing

[2:37:21] service work because I certainly don't

[2:37:23] want to do service work if it

[2:37:27] brings harm or bring if I bring such a

[2:37:31] thing to serving people. I don't want to

[2:37:34] do that.

[2:37:35] >> Mhm.

[2:37:37] Um

[2:37:41] and I don't

[2:37:43] I I don't know how to overcome it.

[2:38:11] You know, I I really don't know what to

[2:38:13] tell you.

[2:38:14] I mean, I

[2:38:16] other than the usual thing, you got to

[2:38:18] have courage. If you don't do what you

[2:38:20] don't want If you don't do what you want

[2:38:21] to do, then what, you know?

[2:38:24] But there's something in in you that's

[2:38:26] giving you a hard time. It's not from

[2:38:27] the outside.

[2:38:29] It's you know, some version of yourself

[2:38:31] that you don't like.

[2:38:33] Um

[2:38:45] You know,

[2:38:46] maybe when you get fed up enough with

[2:38:48] yourself, you'll just go out and say,

[2:38:50] "Fuck it. I'm going to do what I want."

[2:38:53] You know?

[2:38:54] Just get more fed up. Don't do anything

[2:38:56] for a long time

[2:38:57] until you just burning with getting out

[2:39:00] there to help somebody. Well, I started

[2:39:01] doing my own outreach Uh-huh. because I

[2:39:05] couldn't Mhm. I couldn't feel like I was

[2:39:08] in competition anymore. Mhm. So, I did

[2:39:11] my own thing because I couldn't go

[2:39:14] a week without doing something, serving,

[2:39:17] and connecting with people.

[2:39:20] Yeah.

[2:39:23] When I first started singing, um years

[2:39:24] ago,

[2:39:25] we would have

[2:39:28] what we call the Kirtan Walla Wars.

[2:39:31] You know, everybody was trying to shine

[2:39:34] brighter than the next person behind

[2:39:37] them. It was terrible.

[2:39:39] But you just keep singing, it all goes

[2:39:40] away.

[2:39:42] You know.

[2:39:43] Um

[2:39:52] Yeah.

[2:39:56] We all do so much damage to ourselves,

[2:39:59] you know, all of us.

[2:40:00] None of us really

[2:40:04] are shining as much as we really could

[2:40:06] shine.

[2:40:07] There are so many reasons. Everybody has

[2:40:09] reasons not to shine.

[2:40:11] In a good way shine, you know, for our

[2:40:13] own self, really.

[2:40:15] Our own doubts about ourselves, our own

[2:40:17] fears.

[2:40:20] Makes us human.

[2:40:22] No big deal.

[2:40:24] You know.

[2:40:25] But you know.

[2:40:31] Just

[2:40:32] really try to listen to yourself

[2:40:34] underneath all that stuff, what you what

[2:40:36] you need to do.

[2:40:38] You know.

[2:40:40] Nobody can tell you what's in your

[2:40:41] heart.

[2:40:43] But you have to kind of find that

[2:40:46] place where you it's just you, and then

[2:40:49] you don't care about what anybody says

[2:40:51] or how they are.

[2:40:52] You're doing what you have to do.

[2:40:55] Whatever that is. If it means you have

[2:40:56] to go do your own thing, then do your

[2:40:58] own thing.

[2:41:00] But

[2:41:01] at the same time, do we want to be

[2:41:03] pushed around by our stuff all the time,

[2:41:05] you know, and never

[2:41:08] get free of that?

[2:41:10] So, it's

[2:41:12] just keep calming yourself down if you

[2:41:14] can, you know, just

[2:41:15] you don't have to do like

[2:41:17] practice, just like chill. Just let

[2:41:20] everything just go.

[2:41:23] Just see who you are, see what you want.

[2:41:27] And you're writing your life now.

[2:41:30] Nobody's not

[2:41:31] Every day is new. Every moment is new.

[2:41:34] You're free to do what you want.

[2:41:36] So, you got to find out what that is.

[2:41:39] And how you want it to do.

[2:41:53] Of course, on the other hand, it's all

[2:41:54] written

[2:41:55] already.

[2:41:57] So, just depends how you look at it.

[2:42:09] There are people who don't like me.

[2:42:10] Believe it or not.

[2:42:13] Can you [ __ ] believe it?

[2:42:18] I don't give a [ __ ]

[2:42:20] So,

[2:42:21] them.

[2:42:22] You know.

[2:42:24] So, good.

[2:42:25] Knock yourself out. You know. Who cares?

[2:42:43] Hello. You What? Where are you? How are

[2:42:46] you?

[2:42:48] Uh

[2:42:48] I I have

[2:42:50] It's okay. So, so I think you said three

[2:42:53] things.

[2:42:54] You said you have to have courage to go

[2:42:56] after what you want. Mhm.

[2:42:59] Don't think about yourself and serve

[2:43:01] others. Mhm. And also, you don't do

[2:43:04] anything, God does everything. Every one

[2:43:06] of those things is true.

[2:43:09] Good luck. How How do you

[2:43:12] How How do you reconcile those three

[2:43:13] things?

[2:43:14] >> You don't. You just go ahead.

[2:43:20] Yeah, I mean

[2:43:27] Those are different levels.

[2:43:29] They don't reconcile on this level.

[2:43:32] On one level

[2:43:34] there's no one

[2:43:35] nothing ever happened, nothing ever will

[2:43:37] happen, it's all one, period. There's

[2:43:39] nobody, nothing.

[2:43:41] And that's true.

[2:43:42] Then there's other levels where you

[2:43:44] think you are who you think you are, and

[2:43:46] that person has a lot to do.

[2:43:49] Then there's another level where

[2:43:50] everything's already done.

[2:43:52] And you're just following the script

[2:43:54] blindly, but you think you're doing it.

[2:43:57] Each level has its own relative reality.

[2:44:00] And they're true.

[2:44:02] But you can't up-level in your mind.

[2:44:06] You think you are who you think you are

[2:44:09] right now.

[2:44:10] That's who you think you are.

[2:44:13] So, that's the level of reality

[2:44:15] we're stuck in.

[2:44:17] On that level, we make decisions, we

[2:44:20] need courage, we know all kinds of

[2:44:22] things, we need food, we need sleep, we

[2:44:23] need shelter, we need all kinds of

[2:44:25] things on that level.

[2:44:27] Definitely need them, without those

[2:44:28] things we die.

[2:44:29] So, that's true.

[2:44:32] But on another level

[2:44:34] which is also

[2:44:36] a a different level of reality

[2:44:39] you are not who you think you are.

[2:44:42] Not even close.

[2:44:44] There's no thought whatsoever. You are

[2:44:45] soul.

[2:44:47] You're a being.

[2:44:49] You

[2:44:50] You know, there's it's a whole other

[2:44:52] level of reality, but that's not where

[2:44:53] we live. So, on the level you live on,

[2:44:56] where we live on, we have

[2:44:59] things we need to do.

[2:45:00] Things need to be taken care of.

[2:45:02] You need to breathe, for instance.

[2:45:05] Try living without breathing, very

[2:45:07] difficult.

[2:45:10] Or eating, or sleeping, or doing various

[2:45:13] other bodily functions, with or without

[2:45:15] other people.

[2:45:17] Difficult. So, according to this world,

[2:45:20] the world that we live in, who we think

[2:45:22] we are, there's things we need to do.

[2:45:25] One of those things is to have courage

[2:45:27] and go for what we want in our hearts,

[2:45:30] because no one else will give it to us

[2:45:31] if we don't go for it.

[2:45:35] That's the basics of our daily life.

[2:45:40] And

[2:45:42] base But did Maharajji, who seemed to be

[2:45:46] living on the same world as us, he was

[2:45:49] in a physical body,

[2:45:51] I saw him eat,

[2:45:53] etc.

[2:45:55] But was he living in the same world as I

[2:45:57] was living? No.

[2:45:59] Not even close.

[2:46:01] But he could be here,

[2:46:03] but his reality was completely

[2:46:05] different.

[2:46:06] Also true for that reality. In a sense,

[2:46:09] it's more true than this one, but this

[2:46:11] is the one we're stuck in. This is the

[2:46:13] bandwidth we're stuck in.

[2:46:15] In this bandwidth, we have to act a

[2:46:16] certain way. You have to stop at the red

[2:46:18] and go at the green,

[2:46:20] or you're history.

[2:46:22] So, you have to learn the rules of of

[2:46:24] engagement here.

[2:46:26] How to do it the best way.

[2:46:29] So.

[2:46:32] But you can't sit here and say it's all

[2:46:34] done, there's nothing to do. Then you

[2:46:36] starve to death.

[2:46:38] Right?

[2:46:39] You you you you could say that to

[2:46:41] yourself, but your body will tell you

[2:46:42] that you better go eat something. So,

[2:46:44] you're forced to action. We're impelled

[2:46:47] to do certain things by our hormones, by

[2:46:49] our bodies, by our emotions and our

[2:46:51] thoughts.

[2:46:52] That's this world.

[2:46:55] There's nothing wrong with it.

[2:46:57] It's not ultimate reality, but it's

[2:46:58] where we are.

[2:47:00] So, we have to learn how to navigate

[2:47:01] this in the best way possible.

[2:47:05] Which will ultimately lead us

[2:47:07] to real love and real truth.

[2:47:12] So.

[2:47:22] Yeah, you don't tell people, "Oh, your

[2:47:25] suffering's not real." You know, you

[2:47:27] know, that's No, that's not It's real.

[2:47:30] It may not be

[2:47:34] true.

[2:47:35] Like one teacher of mine who said he was

[2:47:38] in a plane on the way to Kathmandu from

[2:47:39] Delhi, and it flies in these valleys,

[2:47:42] right? You know, like seems to be inches

[2:47:44] away from the mountains or the wing

[2:47:46] touch. And he was paralyzed with fear.

[2:47:49] And he realized, "Wait a minute, the

[2:47:50] fear is real. I'm feeling it,

[2:47:54] but is it true?"

[2:47:55] I mean, did we Are we going to hit the

[2:47:57] plane? No.

[2:47:59] So, there's two things. There's real,

[2:48:01] that's who you think you are, and then

[2:48:03] there's true, which is who you really

[2:48:04] are, which we don't know.

[2:48:07] But we have to honor the feeling of the

[2:48:09] real feelings we have.

[2:48:12] Is it in this moment that's who we are.

[2:48:23] Deep.

[2:48:25] Hi.

[2:48:28] Where?

[2:48:30] Going back to this idea of attachment,

[2:48:32] >> Wait, jump up and down. I don't know

[2:48:34] where you are. Oh, back there. Okay, hi.

[2:48:36] Hi. Okay, you can sit down now. Thank

[2:48:38] you.

[2:48:39] Uh going back to this idea of

[2:48:41] attachment, when we fall in love with

[2:48:44] like one person and not another, and

[2:48:46] like that's very real experience. So,

[2:48:49] what is that?

[2:48:50] Good question.

[2:48:52] You know, one time I

[2:48:54] I was

[2:48:55] I don't know if I was there or if I

[2:48:56] heard it. Maharaj was sitting with some

[2:48:58] of his old devotees,

[2:49:00] and there was one guy there who was

[2:49:01] absolutely the sweetest man that I ever

[2:49:04] met in my life. Just

[2:49:07] extraordinary. And he turned to him and

[2:49:09] he pointed to him and said,

[2:49:11] "He was my enemy in our last life."

[2:49:15] So, we're attracted to people.

[2:49:17] We don't know why.

[2:49:20] One time this this um

[2:49:25] this Buddhist master came out of the

[2:49:27] jungle with some of his disciples

[2:49:30] to beg for food. That's what they did

[2:49:33] once a day.

[2:49:34] And they're approaching this village,

[2:49:37] and they they stop, and the master

[2:49:39] smiles.

[2:49:41] And his disciple says, "Oh, great one,

[2:49:44] a master doesn't smile without a cause.

[2:49:47] What is the cause of that smile?" That's

[2:49:48] the way Buddhists talk.

[2:49:51] Thousands of years ago.

[2:49:54] He says, "What is the cause of this

[2:49:56] smile?" And so, the master points to

[2:49:58] this He says, "See there? What do you

[2:50:01] see?"

[2:50:02] And the guy says, "Well, I see this hut,

[2:50:05] and there's this young woman sitting out

[2:50:07] in front of the hut nursing her baby,

[2:50:10] and she's holding a piece of meat, and

[2:50:12] she's kicking the dog to keep him away

[2:50:14] from the meat."

[2:50:15] And he said, "Just so. Just so. She's

[2:50:19] nursing her enemy, eating her

[2:50:21] ex-husband, and kicking her former child

[2:50:23] to keep him away from the meat."

[2:50:27] Right?

[2:50:29] The person you're attracted to could

[2:50:31] have been somebody that you wanted to

[2:50:32] [ __ ] kill last life, you know? And

[2:50:35] then you tripped over him in this life,

[2:50:37] and you go, "Oh, hi. Yeah,

[2:50:39] you."

[2:50:41] And that's what we call love.

[2:50:43] Terrific.

[2:50:47] You never know. You just never know. So,

[2:50:50] you have to pay some attention, you

[2:50:52] know. But,

[2:50:54] it's beyond our pay grade. We just do

[2:50:56] the best we can.

[2:51:02] Well, it's 5:36.

[2:51:05] We were supposed to stop at 5:30.

[2:51:08] So, any more questions?

[2:51:13] No more Indian people.

[2:51:17] They ask all these long questions.

[2:51:24] Okay. Wait. Wait. Hold it. The My

[2:51:25] Where's the mic?

[2:51:27] Okay.

[2:51:28] We're coming there.

[2:51:29] Go ahead.

[2:51:31] Yeah, so

[2:51:32] I had this experience 2 years ago

[2:51:35] where I was like at my lowest point in

[2:51:37] life, and I felt like I was

[2:51:39] The only way I can describe it is I was

[2:51:40] saved by God, and I felt And I'm not

[2:51:43] really religious, but I felt this God

[2:51:45] isn't religious, either. Don't worry.

[2:51:46] >> Yeah. I felt that truth, where for the

[2:51:49] first time I just truly realized I am

[2:51:51] God, and God is love, and I am that

[2:51:53] love.

[2:51:54] And it's It's like I was in another

[2:51:57] dimension. I know knew that so truly,

[2:51:59] even though before that I was associated

[2:52:00] with God with religion, and I would like

[2:52:02] didn't want to

[2:52:03] touch that. Mhm. And that led me on a

[2:52:05] spiritual journey over the last 2 years,

[2:52:07] and

[2:52:08] really opened my heart and my mind.

[2:52:10] Um

[2:52:11] and

[2:52:12] but I I've never felt to that same level

[2:52:14] of depth I felt in that moment. You

[2:52:16] know, I can talk about it. I can

[2:52:18] share this experience, and I can

[2:52:20] >> memory now. Yeah, exactly. That's the

[2:52:22] way it works. But, the question I have

[2:52:24] is like how do I stay there, and You

[2:52:26] don't. You didn't do it in the first

[2:52:27] place. You think now you're going to do

[2:52:29] it again?

[2:52:31] It was a gift.

[2:52:32] Enjoy it.

[2:52:34] Do the best you can to live according to

[2:52:36] that, but

[2:52:37] yeah, those those hits we get we get for

[2:52:40] a reason, but they don't stay.

[2:52:42] They don't stay.

[2:52:44] You can't You didn't do it in the first

[2:52:46] place. Now, what are you going to How

[2:52:47] are you going to How are you going to do

[2:52:48] it now?

[2:52:49] Just surrender. That's what it's called.

[2:52:52] Give up. Just be with it. Enjoy.

[2:52:57] Try to

[2:53:00] st

[2:53:01] stay in contact with it as much as you

[2:53:03] can. But, you you know, don't try too

[2:53:06] hard. That'll just [ __ ] it up.

[2:53:09] Just be you. Live.

[2:53:11] Already your path is different because

[2:53:13] of that.

[2:53:15] Your life changed because of that. So,

[2:53:16] what? What do you want to do?

[2:53:18] You're going to micro micro this and

[2:53:20] that. I'm going to go and then 3:38 and

[2:53:22] 42 seconds that happened and now there's

[2:53:24] 43 seconds and then and I'm going to do

[2:53:25] do do do do do do.

[2:53:27] Just chill. Relax. Breathe.

[2:53:29] Live. Be happy.

[2:53:31] Or not.

[2:53:34] There's nothing to do.

[2:53:36] You didn't do anything to make it happen

[2:53:37] the first time. What do you think you

[2:53:39] can do now?

[2:53:42] Right?

[2:53:43] Except take it easy.

[2:53:46] Is that hard? Yes.

[2:53:49] But,

[2:53:50] good luck.

[2:53:55] Give the mic to somebody else, please.

[2:54:02] What's the other There was Indian people

[2:54:04] over there. Those Indian people.

[2:54:08] Hindustani little coffee vodka thing.

[2:54:14] Um I have a request, not a question.

[2:54:17] Uh I'm here with my husband and my

[2:54:18] 4-year-old son who has been very well

[2:54:21] behaved throughout this session.

[2:54:22] That's because I promised him that this

[2:54:25] he's going to see Hanuman Dada here and

[2:54:27] you're going to sing. Oh. But he was

[2:54:29] turning impatient. He came all the way

[2:54:30] here that why is he not singing? So

[2:54:33] could you please tell him that you're

[2:54:34] going to sing and that I was not lying

[2:54:37] to him.

[2:54:41] Hi.

[2:54:44] Somewhere

[2:54:46] over the rainbow. I just think

[2:54:49] um

[2:54:51] Boy, what pressure.

[2:54:54] You're not coming tonight?

[2:54:56] He's He's too late. Aw, poor baby. It's

[2:54:59] too late for him tonight, huh?

[2:55:02] Okay, he doesn't like attention. So if I

[2:55:05] got that feeling.

[2:55:08] But I No, you

[2:55:10] You go go take care of your son.

[2:55:12] >> Yeah, thank you.

[2:55:22] Oh, boy.

[2:55:25] Don't you feel it? It's brutal.

[2:55:30] Oh.

[2:55:32] If we could only cry like that for for

[2:55:34] love, we don't would be enlightened.

[2:55:41] But we're too cool.

[2:55:43] What to do?

[2:55:45] Okay, just a couple more.

[2:55:49] Okay.

[2:55:52] Hi Katie. Mhm.

[2:55:54] Um

[2:55:57] You said uh today that it took you 21

[2:55:59] years from you had that thought of I'll

[2:56:02] sing you

[2:56:04] with people.

[2:56:06] Um

[2:56:07] and you have shared several times that

[2:56:11] in those 21 years you passed through a

[2:56:12] sort

[2:56:13] sort of dark night of the soul

[2:56:15] with addictions and hard stuff.

[2:56:18] I was wondering

[2:56:20] um I was I grew up in a Catholic, very

[2:56:23] conservative, macho, uh Latino culture

[2:56:27] where

[2:56:29] um guilt and shame and these sort of

[2:56:33] things were the daily kind of thing that

[2:56:36] we heard when we went to church, things

[2:56:38] like that.

[2:56:39] And in through the years after

[2:56:41] practicing, I keep coming back to a sort

[2:56:44] of wall

[2:56:46] into these things in daily way of living

[2:56:48] with relations, family, friends,

[2:56:51] and kind of

[2:56:53] um we just say like self-sabotaging

[2:56:55] myself and going into these back loop

[2:56:58] loops of guilt and

[2:57:01] shame.

[2:57:01] Um

[2:57:02] can you tell us a little bit about your

[2:57:04] experience with these kind of situations

[2:57:08] when they are long-lasting and they just

[2:57:10] feel so hard?

[2:57:12] I I

[2:57:14] The thing is those are programs that are

[2:57:16] running and you know, they're still

[2:57:17] running in you, but you're aware of it.

[2:57:20] If you're aware of it, it's not the same

[2:57:21] as being completely stuck already.

[2:57:24] So, you just stay aware of of that and

[2:57:27] you just keep letting go of it

[2:57:29] and trying to see

[2:57:30] how you're programmed, you know, and

[2:57:33] just noticing it. You can't stop the

[2:57:35] programs from running, you can just let

[2:57:37] them run.

[2:57:38] But once you notice them, they're very

[2:57:40] different.

[2:57:41] So, you you the will doesn't There's no

[2:57:45] way to stop a thought. How do you stop

[2:57:47] it? What do you You shoot it? Where is

[2:57:48] it? You know?

[2:57:49] But you can let go.

[2:57:52] But you have to There's have to be some

[2:57:54] intention there, you know, you just

[2:57:56] don't

[2:57:57] Oh, it's just a program that's running

[2:57:59] blah blah blah. No, you have to sit with

[2:58:00] it,

[2:58:01] really see it clearly,

[2:58:04] and just

[2:58:05] give it some love. Let it go. Release

[2:58:07] it.

[2:58:08] And then see the suffering of the people

[2:58:11] who are stuck in that in your family

[2:58:13] that they have no

[2:58:15] freedom

[2:58:16] from that stuff. It runs their lives

[2:58:18] completely.

[2:58:19] And then have some gratitude that it

[2:58:21] doesn't run your life completely.

[2:58:23] And that's a good thing to do.

[2:58:26] So.

[2:58:27] Thanks.

[2:58:32] Oh.

[2:58:35] Do we have time for one more?

[2:58:37] Yeah. Okay. I'm not picking. Somebody

[2:58:40] pick. I can tell.

[2:58:45] Tell me when.

[2:58:46] Now. Okay.

[2:58:49] Who is it? Katie. Where are you? Over

[2:58:51] here.

[2:58:52] Oh, you can. Hi.

[2:58:54] Um just a question maybe for another

[2:58:56] time. You could just want to ask it

[2:58:58] since I'm here and you could just

[2:59:00] ruminate on it on any Thursday night.

[2:59:03] Let it come out.

[2:59:05] Um

[2:59:08] There's a lot of breakdown from COVID

[2:59:12] as far as hospital care

[2:59:14] and people wanting to go to work and

[2:59:16] entitlements and all kinds of

[2:59:20] things like that. But one in Washington

[2:59:22] and all of in the financial markets is

[2:59:24] AI and deep learning.

[2:59:27] Where it seems like the value is let's

[2:59:29] do it quicker, faster, better.

[2:59:32] Artificial intelligence is 8 billion

[2:59:34] times.

[2:59:36] We can do it faster. We can do our

[2:59:37] homework better.

[2:59:38] It's a It's a real um

[2:59:43] Just I feel it everywhere. I hear it all

[2:59:44] the time. Like more money faster and

[2:59:48] I think when I heard uh 60 Minutes or

[2:59:50] Frontline said that the deep learning

[2:59:52] machines now are capable

[2:59:55] of not only

[2:59:56] inventing eight eight chess games that

[2:59:58] have never been played

[3:00:01] or won,

[3:00:03] but they actually can

[3:00:06] figure out what computer parts they need

[3:00:08] to make them even faster and stronger

[3:00:10] and and powerful.

[3:00:12] And it scares the

[3:00:14] [ __ ] I mean it's just it's really scary.

[3:00:17] That that now we'll have like biotic

[3:00:20] parts and blah blah blah.

[3:00:22] And so just as a future

[3:00:25] question not even to be answered now.

[3:00:27] I actually prefer you not to.

[3:00:29] Just to sit on it cuz you're you are

[3:00:31] wise when you when you ruminate on

[3:00:33] things it really

[3:00:35] Is there

[3:00:36] Not that you have an answer but the only

[3:00:38] thing I can do is go to temple.

[3:00:40] And in temple

[3:00:42] it's not as important to me AI and how

[3:00:45] the world's going to be changing.

[3:00:48] With machines and then they can make

[3:00:50] their own parts and then become deep

[3:00:51] learning become self-

[3:00:54] maintaining.

[3:00:56] Like uh

[3:00:56] I forget the term it whatever. Very

[3:00:58] scary and and I'm wondering

[3:01:02] In Kali Yuga it's like Kali really bad

[3:01:04] Kali Yuga AI Kali Yuga deep learning

[3:01:06] Kali Yuga for the dark side.

[3:01:09] It's very it's very scary because I've

[3:01:11] already seen at the hospitals the

[3:01:12] breakdown.

[3:01:14] If they can't Okay. All right.

[3:01:18] Um

[3:01:30] It's not my world to run.

[3:01:34] All I can do is do the best I can every

[3:01:36] day

[3:01:38] with everything that I come in contact

[3:01:40] with.

[3:01:42] Uh if the world's going to go to hell

[3:01:44] what am I going to do about it? The

[3:01:45] question was do we have practice to

[3:01:49] I can't hear you.

[3:01:51] Yes. Yes. Okay. The question is

[3:01:55] It's not my I don't want to be part of

[3:01:56] that world. I'm I'd rather stay home

[3:01:58] watch TV. Mhm. Yeah. Be by myself which

[3:02:01] is not good either. So

[3:02:03] Is there a practice we can do just to

[3:02:06] help I don't know.

[3:02:07] Is I go to temple and I take refuge in

[3:02:10] the temple and I go home and then face

[3:02:11] it again, back and forth. It's good.

[3:02:14] It's good you got some time off from

[3:02:15] your head. Exactly. So, it just just

[3:02:18] food for thought.

[3:02:20] Just to ruminate on it.

[3:02:22] Yeah, I know. That's

[3:02:23] you we just we're all doing the best we

[3:02:25] can.

[3:02:27] There's a lot of people who for whom

[3:02:29] that means uh

[3:02:31] taking advantage of everything, you

[3:02:32] know.

[3:02:33] And hurting as many as people they can.

[3:02:36] What are we going to do?

[3:02:37] Just do the best we can

[3:02:39] and hopefully that spreads

[3:02:41] from one person to another. Best we can.

[3:02:44] Uh

[3:02:49] Where the world's going is above my pay

[3:02:51] grade.

[3:02:53] I'm trying to figure out how I can get

[3:02:54] to the bathroom now before I pee in my

[3:02:56] pants.

[3:03:00] Can we say goodnight? Goodnight.

[3:03:20] That was fun.

Krishna Das
AuthorKrishna Das

American kirtan singer, devotee of Neem Karoli Baba, often called "Yoga's rock star." His chanting of the Name has filled rooms, stadiums, and concert halls for over forty years. A…

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