Transcript
[1:58] I see that.
[2:07] You can have that one.
[2:08] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[3:37] They're changing.
[4:52] >> Hare
[4:54] Krishna
[4:56] Hare
[4:58] Krishna
[5:00] Krishna
[5:03] Krishna
[5:05] Hare
[5:08] Hare
[5:27] Hare
[5:29] Krishna
[5:32] Hare
[5:34] Krishna
[5:36] Krishna
[5:38] Krishna
[5:41] Hare
[5:44] Hare
[6:03] >> Hare
[6:05] Krishna
[6:07] Hare
[6:10] Krishna
[6:12] Krishna
[6:16] Hare
[6:19] Hare
[6:39] Hare
[6:41] Krishna
[6:43] Hare
[6:45] Krishna
[6:48] Krishna
[6:52] Hare
[6:54] Hare
[7:14] Hare
[7:16] Krishna
[7:19] Hare
[7:21] Krishna
[7:23] Krishna
[7:28] Hare
[7:30] Hare
[7:50] >> Hare
[7:52] Krishna
[7:54] Hare
[7:56] Krishna
[7:59] Krishna Krishna
[8:03] Hare
[8:26] Hare
[8:28] Krishna
[8:30] Hare
[8:32] Krishna
[8:34] Krishna Krishna
[8:39] Hare
[9:01] Hare
[9:03] Krishna
[9:06] Hare
[9:08] Krishna
[9:10] Krishna Krishna
[9:14] Hare
[9:36] Hare
[9:39] Krishna
[9:41] Hare
[9:43] Krishna
[9:45] Krishna
[9:50] Hare
[9:52] Hare
[10:12] Hare
[10:16] Hare
[10:19] Krishna
[10:21] Krishna
[10:25] Hare
[10:27] Hare
[10:48] Hare
[10:50] Krishna
[10:52] Hare
[10:54] Krishna
[10:56] Krishna
[11:01] Hare
[11:03] Hare
[11:23] Hare
[11:25] Krishna
[11:27] Hare
[11:29] Krishna
[11:32] Krishna
[11:58] Hare
[11:59] Krishna
[12:01] Hare
[12:03] Krishna
[12:09] Hare
[12:11] Hare
[12:27] Hare
[12:28] Krishna
[12:30] Hare
[12:32] Krishna
[12:37] Hare
[12:39] Hare
[12:55] Hare
[12:58] Hare
[13:05] Hare
[13:07] Hare
[13:22] Hare
[13:24] Krishna
[13:26] Hare
[13:27] Krishna
[13:29] Hare
[13:50] Hare
[13:51] Krishna
[13:53] Hare
[13:55] Krishna
[14:17] Hare
[14:18] Krishna
[14:20] Hare
[14:44] Hare
[14:45] Krishna
[14:47] Hare
[14:49] Krishna
[15:10] Hare
[15:20] Hare
[15:37] Hare
[15:39] Krishna
[15:40] Hare
[15:42] Krishna
[15:44] Krishna
[15:47] Hare
[16:04] Hare
[16:05] Krishna
[16:07] Hare
[16:10] Krishna
[16:14] Hare
[16:30] Hare
[16:32] Krishna
[16:33] Hare
[16:37] Krishna
[16:40] Hare
[16:56] Hare
[16:58] Krishna
[17:00] Hare
[17:03] Krishna
[17:06] Hare
[17:25] >> Hare
[17:27] Krishna
[17:29] Hare
[17:31] Krishna
[17:34] Krishna
[17:35] Krishna
[17:38] Hare
[17:42] Hare
[18:45] Now it's time for the band.
[18:50] So,
[18:53] at the very least,
[18:56] which is not little,
[18:59] when we chant,
[19:01] our attention is slowly, little by
[19:03] little,
[19:04] pulled away from the outside world and
[19:07] our thoughts. Shammi, you want your
[19:08] blanket? You want to use it?
[19:27] >> Because most of the time, most of our
[19:28] life is spent
[19:31] with our attention lost in outside
[19:34] stuff.
[19:35] The external world, the supposed
[19:37] external world.
[19:40] But there is one or not.
[19:42] That's a whole other story.
[19:44] It looks like there is.
[19:52] And those thoughts and stories that we
[19:54] tell ourselves
[19:55] all life long, the stuff we believe
[19:57] about ourselves,
[20:00] it pretty much goes unchallenged our
[20:02] whole lives.
[20:07] The programs that were
[20:10] put into us as young kids, just keep
[20:13] going on.
[20:16] And if we don't do something
[20:18] to change that,
[20:22] we don't do something to change that.
[20:27] We get born,
[20:30] go to high school,
[20:32] drink some beer,
[20:34] and die.
[20:37] That's it.
[20:38] And that's what it's like for most
[20:39] people in this world,
[20:41] unfortunately.
[20:45] Either they're born in places where
[20:46] there is no
[20:48] dharma, no spiritual stuff,
[20:51] or they're born in a situation where
[20:53] they don't have time or
[20:56] safety to practice.
[20:59] But here we are.
[21:01] We don't even know how we got here, but
[21:03] here we are.
[21:06] Trying to do something to help
[21:07] ourselves.
[21:13] I thought of a little story while we
[21:14] were singing, you know, when I in 1989
[21:18] I was in Allahabad in India
[21:21] at a place called the Prayag
[21:24] where
[21:25] there was a Kumbh Mela.
[21:28] A Kumbh Mela is
[21:30] every year there's a Mela. Mela means a
[21:32] festival.
[21:36] And every 3 years there's a quarter
[21:38] Mela, every 6 years there's a half Mela,
[21:41] every 12 years there's a full
[21:44] Mela. It's a 12-year cycle of
[21:47] astrological stuff. Shut up.
[21:51] Nothing. Just talking to a friend.
[21:56] Um
[21:57] So this one was the 12th 12th.
[22:00] These stars this this astrological thing
[22:03] hadn't been in that position for 144
[22:05] years.
[22:06] So this was big time.
[22:09] There were like maybe 30 million people.
[22:12] Became the biggest city in India for
[22:14] about 2 weeks.
[22:16] Goes on for a month, but two main weeks.
[22:20] So I was living in in a camp a little
[22:23] camp of tents
[22:26] with a with a a Yogi who was 163 years
[22:29] old.
[22:32] Uh
[22:32] really, he was.
[22:34] You don't believe me?
[22:37] He was. I remember once he looked at us
[22:39] and said,
[22:40] "You're from America?
[22:42] Huh. You remember when Lincoln was
[22:43] shot?"
[22:46] Oh, no. Yeah. We we read about it in the
[22:48] papers, he said.
[22:50] And the guy had been living in the same
[22:52] area. Everybody knew him. He was 163.
[22:56] And one day
[22:58] he said he was going to visit his elder
[23:01] guru brother
[23:03] who was 250-something years old.
[23:07] And his name was Devaraha Baba.
[23:09] It's a Devaraha is a county in
[23:12] Uttar Pradesh.
[23:14] And this Baba had been living there
[23:16] for hundreds of years.
[23:18] He was your grandfather's grandfather's
[23:20] grandfather's grandfather's
[23:21] grandfather's grandfather's guru.
[23:23] Everybody knew him. It was no mystery.
[23:26] And the funny thing is
[23:27] after 2 and 1/2 years, I came back to
[23:29] the States and
[23:31] I went to my mother's house and in the
[23:32] morning I woke up and I went to the A&P
[23:35] to get some Cheerios.
[23:38] Maybe it was Wheaties at that time.
[23:42] And as I'm checking out, I look over and
[23:44] the National Enquirer was in the rack,
[23:46] you know?
[23:47] And on the front page, it said, "World's
[23:50] Oldest Man." And a picture of this Baba.
[23:54] "Really?" I went.
[23:58] So, the younger Baba, the 163-year-old
[24:02] guy,
[24:03] goes to visit the older guy.
[24:06] And he comes back and he said, "Oh, we
[24:08] had a nice time.
[24:10] He told me that Sri Krishna came to him
[24:12] and asked him to come play with him in
[24:13] Vrindavan.
[24:15] So, he's going to go."
[24:17] Couple of weeks later,
[24:19] he left the body.
[24:26] Krishna came and asked him to come play.
[24:28] So, he said, "Okay."
[24:30] And he left the body and went to
[24:31] Vrindavan to play.
[24:35] India is another world.
[24:39] And it still exists. The spiritual India
[24:41] is still there. It's not easy to find,
[24:45] but it's still there.
[24:49] So,
[24:50] I just read this thing that a friend of
[24:51] mine wrote. His name is Toko Sherab.
[24:54] He's a Tibetan lama.
[24:56] A
[24:58] Canadian Tibetan llama.
[25:02] And he said, you know, he'd been doing
[25:03] these practices for so many years
[25:06] to Tara, the goddess Tara.
[25:09] And
[25:11] the quality of Tara's that she she loves
[25:14] everyone. She's here to save everyone
[25:16] from suffering.
[25:18] He said, "But I've been doing these
[25:19] practices,
[25:20] but it's been so hard for me to actually
[25:22] believe
[25:24] that Tara loves me."
[25:28] So,
[25:29] I just started thinking about that.
[25:41] I don't know. Most of those, we don't
[25:43] believe there's a Krishna or Rama
[25:46] or Hanuman or
[25:48] Shiva, Kali.
[25:51] We read about that stuff,
[25:53] but it's just stuff for us.
[25:56] What we don't know, and what we have to
[25:58] know, is who the [ __ ] we are.
[26:01] That's the first thing.
[26:04] That's what we have. When we look in the
[26:06] mirror,
[26:07] there's a whole story line that we see.
[26:11] Inside that story line is who we are.
[26:18] So, it doesn't really work for us to try
[26:19] to manipulate ourselves into one kind of
[26:22] experience or not.
[26:24] When we're practicing or when we're
[26:25] singing or meditating,
[26:28] that's not your job.
[26:30] Your job is to pay attention
[26:32] to what you're doing.
[26:34] Not to try to have some kind of
[26:35] experience.
[26:38] Not to all of a sudden manipulate
[26:39] yourself to
[26:40] trick yourself into feeling good or
[26:42] feeling loved or feeling all that.
[26:45] That's not the way it works.
[26:48] All we have to do is pay attention
[26:51] to what we're doing.
[26:53] Which is very hard.
[26:56] And you don't notice that until you try
[26:58] to do it.
[27:06] And
[27:07] the expectations we have about what
[27:10] we're doing, like when we sit down to
[27:11] meditate or chant or something,
[27:14] that's that's what stops us from really
[27:17] getting it together.
[27:19] It never feels uh
[27:20] I've been meditating for 3 years. I
[27:22] still feel like [ __ ]
[27:25] That's good. That means you're paying
[27:26] attention.
[27:42] Somehow we have to loosen up this
[27:45] these habitual
[27:47] identifications that we have
[27:50] with our stuff.
[27:53] The problem is we it's we believe it all
[27:56] so deeply and so
[28:00] unquestioningly.
[28:01] We wake up and you don't feel good. I'm
[28:03] depressed today.
[28:05] And we really believe that.
[28:07] We feel
[28:09] bad.
[28:10] And we believe that.
[28:14] When I started chanting with people, it
[28:15] was because I had this
[28:19] epiphany
[28:20] that if I did not sing with people,
[28:23] I would never be able to
[28:27] clean out the dark shadows of my own
[28:29] heart.
[28:32] And the I the understanding was this
[28:33] stuff was pushing me around like a
[28:35] shadow. You can't see it.
[28:40] But the only way to do that for me was
[28:41] to start chanting.
[28:47] And it had to be with people.
[28:52] So, here we are.
[29:08] I mean, do you really want to spend the
[29:09] rest of your life
[29:11] [ __ ] up?
[29:15] Really?
[29:18] You can if you want to. I mean, nobody's
[29:20] going to stop you.
[29:22] But, why?
[29:27] Part of the reason why is we don't
[29:28] really believe there's anything we can
[29:30] really do about it.
[29:32] That's That's the unfortunate reality.
[29:36] Because nobody in my life growing up
[29:38] ever did anything about them their their
[29:40] states of mind.
[29:43] Right?
[29:45] So, where was that understanding going
[29:47] to come from?
[29:50] Or where does it come from for us, you
[29:51] know?
[29:53] It doesn't come easy.
[29:56] Cuz it's so sticky in there. It's scary,
[29:59] too.
[30:00] Who wants to deal with their stuff?
[30:03] Nobody.
[30:10] This is fun.
[30:13] It gets you all so depressed. You run
[30:15] out of here screaming, there won't be
[30:16] anybody here tonight.
[30:20] I'm going to go home and watch TV.
[30:29] Maharaji said,
[30:30] "Through the repetition of the name,
[30:32] which is the chanting we do, name the
[30:35] names of what they call God."
[30:37] In India, there's a million names for
[30:39] God. You walk down the street, there's
[30:40] Shri Bhagavan Insurance Company.
[30:44] Durga Travels.
[30:46] you know
[30:47] Saraswati Cleaning Service, you know,
[30:49] everywhere you go there's God.
[30:55] Through the repetition of the name,
[30:57] everything is accomplished.
[31:03] And he knows what everything is.
[31:06] And that's what he said.
[31:09] So
[31:11] wow
[31:13] that's like you know
[31:15] the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.
[31:19] This stuff works, he says it does. He
[31:21] says everything will be accomplished
[31:24] through the repetition of these names.
[31:27] Do you believe it?
[31:29] No. Do I believe it?
[31:33] If I really believed that, I'd just be
[31:35] sitting at home going ram ram ram ram
[31:36] ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram. I
[31:38] wouldn't even eat.
[31:40] Certainly wouldn't be watching TV.
[31:44] To the extent we believe that our
[31:47] actions can have a good effect on our
[31:49] lives, that's how much we'll make an
[31:51] effort.
[31:52] But we hardly believe it, and so we
[31:54] hardly make an effort.
[31:57] Meditate for 5 minutes a day, 10 minutes
[31:59] a day, every other week.
[32:02] And we think we're really a yogi, yeah.
[32:05] Do a couple of asanas and you think
[32:07] you're the king of yogis.
[32:12] But to change the way we go through our
[32:14] lives is a really big thing.
[32:17] And
[32:18] like I told you
[32:20] I had that epiphany
[32:22] that the only way for me to change
[32:27] my inner
[32:28] reality
[32:30] would be to chant with people.
[32:38] It took me a while to get with the
[32:39] program.
[32:42] I called Dharmas first, but they didn't
[32:44] want me to come.
[32:46] Eva said, "Well, I'll talk to Dharma
[32:48] next."
[32:49] So, I called Jivamukti and they said,
[32:51] "Yeah, come on down.
[32:54] Come on Monday, okay?"
[32:56] So, I went on Monday. There were 10
[32:57] people there. They had the teacher
[32:59] trainees every Monday.
[33:01] David and Sharon, they would read, do
[33:03] some readings, and take Q&A.
[33:08] I would sing for about 15-20 minutes.
[33:11] That went on for a few months.
[33:14] And then I showed up and they weren't
[33:15] there. They went to India.
[33:18] And they were gone like 3 months.
[33:21] So, I sang for like 3 hours.
[33:25] Then after 3 months,
[33:27] I came and their pillows were there.
[33:29] They showed up. Oh, hi, how are you
[33:30] doing? Yeah, good. Okay. So, I started
[33:32] singing.
[33:33] An hour later, I went, "Oh, [ __ ]
[33:36] They're here."
[33:38] And I looked over and I went like
[33:41] and they just went
[33:43] So, Mondays became my night.
[33:46] They stopped coming.
[33:50] They stayed home and watched TV.
[33:54] And it just happened.
[33:56] Just happened.
[33:57] It was no agenda.
[34:04] Doing practices like planting seeds.
[34:06] Every repetition of the name is a seed.
[34:09] Every time the mind comes back or your
[34:11] awareness comes back from
[34:14] dreamland, that's a seed, too.
[34:18] If we plant seeds, those seeds will
[34:20] grow.
[34:21] If we don't plant them, then who's going
[34:23] to grow?
[34:25] Unfortunately, it's very simple.
[34:27] It's not easy,
[34:29] but it's simple.
[34:37] >> You know, we're used to like 15,000
[34:39] channels on television.
[34:41] But sitting down
[34:44] and trying to pay attention
[34:46] is not easy.
[35:16] Each one of us has to find out what
[35:17] works for us.
[35:19] Really, nobody can tell you.
[35:22] Maharaji never told me to to go forth
[35:25] and multiply.
[35:29] He never told me to go chant with
[35:30] people.
[35:32] I
[35:33] I wanted to do that. We had chanted with
[35:35] him, to him, for him.
[35:39] But life got in the way
[35:41] and I never did it.
[35:44] And it wasn't until like 21 years after
[35:46] he died that I started singing with
[35:48] people.
[35:51] Stubborn.
[35:53] I was so angry and hurt
[35:55] pissed off that he left me.
[35:57] I wouldn't do anything.
[36:02] I had to get over that.
[36:06] So,
[36:07] but he left it to me to find out what I
[36:09] wanted to do.
[36:13] Last time I saw him
[36:16] so far
[36:19] I was trying I I was going to leave that
[36:21] day for for Delhi to get on a plane back
[36:24] to America after 2 and 1/2 years
[36:27] in India walking around barefoot in a
[36:28] red dress.
[36:31] I think this is not going to work in New
[36:32] York.
[36:34] What will I do in America? Well, maybe I
[36:36] should ask him. No, don't you ask him.
[36:38] What's wrong with you? You should have
[36:39] faith. Faith my ass. I'm going back to
[36:41] America.
[36:43] So, I'm sitting there right in front of
[36:44] him arguing with myself, right?
[36:47] But finally I blurted out,
[36:49] "Baba,
[36:50] how can I serve you in America?"
[36:53] He looked like he bit a pickle.
[36:58] He says, "Ask me about service. It's not
[37:00] service.
[37:02] Just do what you want."
[37:05] Now,
[37:06] I had been celibate
[37:08] for 2 and 1/2 years
[37:11] during prime time, ages of 23 to 26.
[37:16] I knew what I wanted to do.
[37:19] And he knew what I wanted to do.
[37:21] That was the thing.
[37:23] So, I just went,
[37:25] my mind literally stopped.
[37:28] And he laughed. He
[37:30] laughed. So, how will you serve me?
[37:37] Living with somebody who knows
[37:38] everything about you, you know, every
[37:40] little thing, every thought
[37:43] is just a trip.
[37:52] So, then I had to go.
[37:54] He said, "Just do what you want."
[37:56] Then it was time for me to go. So, I
[37:58] bowed down. I walked across the
[37:59] courtyard.
[38:02] And I
[38:03] I did a danda pranam, full down on the
[38:06] ground.
[38:08] And as I was there on the ground there,
[38:10] I heard
[38:12] my voice
[38:14] in my mind, but it wasn't me
[38:17] talking.
[38:18] And it said, "I'll sing to you in
[38:20] America."
[38:22] Oh, okay.
[38:25] And I got up and left.
[38:28] But it took me 21 years
[38:30] to start singing
[38:32] with people.
[38:34] So, when I tell you when I say to you,
[38:37] you got to plant some seeds, I know how
[38:39] hard it is
[38:41] to overcome
[38:46] to overcome the delusion and and and the
[38:49] the
[38:51] the inertia of the of the mind and the
[38:54] emotions engaged
[38:57] all life long with the stuff.
[39:00] It's really hard.
[39:03] Really hard.
[39:05] We have so many reasons why we don't pay
[39:07] attention, why we don't do what's in our
[39:09] own best interests.
[39:15] What are you going to do?
[39:18] It's up to you.
[39:22] Okay, let's change the channel
[39:25] before everybody commits suicide.
[39:35] So, we have a a microphone and we'll
[39:38] take some questions.
[39:42] I'll ask the questions.
[39:48] Okay.
[39:50] If you want to say something, just raise
[39:51] your hand.
[40:00] Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? I can.
[40:03] Okay. Hold on a second. Kev, can you put
[40:05] me in here in this mic?
[40:08] Go ahead.
[40:09] No, my name's Racheli and I came up to
[40:12] you at the Ram Dass retreat. Okay. And
[40:16] we were discussing the names of God and
[40:20] I grew up Orthodox
[40:22] Jewish Orthodox. Jewish Ortho- There's a
[40:24] lot of different Orthodox. Thank you.
[40:25] >> Yes. Yes, that one. Yeah.
[40:28] And I've been doing the Hanuman Chalisa.
[40:32] That's a good Jewish prayer. It's a good
[40:33] one.
[40:35] So then I was home on Rosh Hashanah at
[40:38] my parents and suddenly like I couldn't
[40:40] do it. The names of um
[40:43] of
[40:44] Ram and Hanuman and all of that. Yeah. I
[40:47] felt this resistance. I'm just curious
[40:49] if you have any thoughts because I do
[40:51] believe it is all one. We were talking
[40:53] about that book with the Bal Shem Tov.
[40:55] Mhm. Um but yeah, if you have any
[40:58] thoughts for me on that.
[41:00] Thoughts. Let me think about that.
[41:04] Yeah, I remember one time I was doing a
[41:06] retreat and a woman raised a hand said,
[41:08] "I was at a Jewish retreat last weekend
[41:10] and they say you can't say the name of
[41:12] God."
[41:13] And I said, "You're right.
[41:15] We're just lying."
[41:18] And Maharaji used to say, "Go on, sing
[41:20] your lying fake Ram Ram. One of these
[41:23] days you'll really call out and the real
[41:25] Ram will come."
[41:29] Whatever that is, it's beyond
[41:31] conceptions, thoughts, names, labels.
[41:36] Reality is beyond all that.
[41:38] So the true name of God can never be
[41:40] spoken.
[41:43] On the other hand,
[41:48] because we live in the world of thought
[41:50] and emotions and words and concepts,
[41:54] what we try to do is gather ourselves up
[41:57] and eventually offer ourselves to that
[42:00] place within us that is real love.
[42:04] And we use these names
[42:06] as a a method to
[42:10] do that for ourselves to accomplish
[42:12] that.
[42:15] But the names themselves
[42:18] are the
[42:20] You know, St. John of the Cross wrote
[42:22] that in the beginning the Father uttered
[42:25] one word.
[42:27] That word is his son.
[42:30] And he utters him forever
[42:32] in everlasting silence.
[42:36] Silence
[42:38] is not just the not the absence of
[42:41] sound, it's the it's the absence of
[42:43] stuff
[42:45] of of
[42:46] concepts.
[42:49] So, silence is reality,
[42:52] but it's beyond words.
[42:55] The only way for us to recognize that is
[42:58] to see it ourselves within.
[43:02] These names, they say these names are
[43:05] the the sound form
[43:08] of what's beyond form.
[43:12] Maharaj used to say, you you can get to
[43:14] the formless through the the only way to
[43:17] he used to say the only way to get to
[43:18] the formless is through the form because
[43:21] we identify with form, with our own
[43:23] form, with the body, thoughts, emotions.
[43:27] We identify with that. So, inside of
[43:29] that delusion
[43:33] these other
[43:35] this method of chanting the names
[43:39] I mean, if you chant Frank all day long,
[43:43] you'll get a headache.
[43:45] People named Frank will start knocking
[43:46] on your door.
[43:48] You know?
[43:50] You'll wake up in in bed instead of your
[43:52] husband, there'll be a Frank.
[43:54] It's dangerous, you know? This stuff
[43:56] works. So, it's better to sing the names
[43:59] of what's real.
[44:00] And all these other names that we're
[44:02] chanting
[44:04] are the names of this place within us
[44:06] that is beyond form.
[44:11] It's hard to talk about things beyond
[44:12] form because we don't know. What was I
[44:15] just reading something?
[44:23] A brain is a terrible thing to lose.
[44:27] But anyhow,
[44:28] um
[44:31] Yeah, we're we're in form. We live in
[44:32] form. Everything
[44:34] our thoughts, our emotions, our
[44:35] feelings, it's all feelings, it's all
[44:37] form.
[44:39] So, but inside of that form
[44:42] that it's like clouds in the sky.
[44:44] The sky
[44:46] is vast. The space is vast and endless.
[44:50] And it envelops everything. It includes
[44:52] everything within it.
[44:54] So, all these concepts, all these forms
[44:58] actually are held in this vast presence,
[45:01] this vast being,
[45:03] this vast silence.
[45:06] But to get to the silence, we have to
[45:08] use
[45:09] a techniques in form.
[45:15] So,
[45:16] that's what the names are about.
[45:18] And like I said, when you say because if
[45:21] you
[45:22] if you were 100% there and you said the
[45:25] Ram,
[45:26] you would have that experience of what
[45:28] really Ram is.
[45:31] And like Kabir, the poet says, "My Ram
[45:33] is not that that prince.
[45:36] You know, my Ram is is reality, the
[45:38] inner dwell the in-dwelling presence in
[45:40] everyone.
[45:41] Reality."
[45:43] So, yeah, you know.
[45:45] It's just um
[45:48] I was just at the Wailing Wall
[45:51] a month ago, 2 months ago.
[45:54] It was
[45:55] uh intense.
[45:58] I sang Shalisa.
[46:00] Banging my head against the wall like
[46:02] everybody else. So, got this is so hard
[46:04] on the one
[46:13] But um
[46:17] Yeah, so you know, you but all that
[46:19] being said, you
[46:21] you have to honor your own feelings.
[46:24] What feels right to you is what you
[46:26] should follow what you
[46:27] could listen to. I don't want to say
[46:29] should but could.
[46:32] Because if you don't follow your own
[46:33] heart, then what?
[46:35] Right? So don't don't doubt that.
[46:38] That would be my what I would say, you
[46:40] know. You should
[46:43] You could examine your feelings. Well,
[46:45] why do I feel this way? Is this really
[46:47] me or is it my programming that's making
[46:49] it uncomfortable?
[46:50] You know, so whatever it is, you should
[46:52] go with it. You could go with it, see?
[46:58] Because if you don't if the whole path
[47:00] is learning how to trust yourself.
[47:02] The whole path is nothing but learning
[47:06] how to trust oneself.
[47:09] Because that's where it is.
[47:12] Always.
[47:27] Kevin, I can't hear me in here a little
[47:28] louder.
[47:31] Hi. Hi.
[47:33] So I've recently
[47:36] blessed to have Kirtan enter my life in
[47:38] the last like probably 18 months to like
[47:41] a year and a half.
[47:42] And um
[47:45] Coming from like a music background,
[47:48] I've like invested in a harmonium and I
[47:50] sing and chant in my home and I like
[47:53] sing my heart out and then whenever I
[47:57] get into a group of people and I'm
[48:00] chanting the same chance that I've
[48:02] practiced at home or have developed at
[48:04] home, it sort of flips from being a
[48:08] genuine expression of love for divinity
[48:10] into
[48:13] almost like a leadership role, I guess.
[48:15] And so, I guess I'm wondering if you
[48:17] have any perspective or advice on how to
[48:19] keep the main thing the main thing in a
[48:22] group when you're leading a chant or a
[48:24] melody, you know, cuz for me it sort of
[48:27] flips into this almost performance
[48:30] instead of a community expression of
[48:34] love for divinity. So, I'd love your
[48:36] perspective on that if you have any to
[48:38] offer. Well, first of all, don't quit
[48:39] your day job.
[48:44] And it's good that you see that. That's
[48:46] very That's It's useful that you see
[48:48] that.
[48:49] Um
[48:51] but you you only had two options. You
[48:54] You gave me two options. Neither one is
[48:56] good enough.
[48:59] If this isn't your spiritual practice,
[49:02] you're doing it wrong.
[49:05] So,
[49:06] in spiritual practice,
[49:08] you say chanting to divinity and all
[49:11] this I mean, I don't even know what that
[49:12] means.
[49:14] Do you?
[49:16] Right. So, just chant and pay attention.
[49:20] And when you're gone, come back.
[49:23] Think
[49:24] focus on the sound of what you're
[49:26] singing.
[49:27] All this other stuff's going to come and
[49:28] go. Sometimes you'll feel good,
[49:30] sometimes you'll feel bad.
[49:32] Sometimes this will happen, sometimes
[49:33] that'll happen. What won't change is the
[49:35] sound of the name.
[49:37] That'll always be there for you to come
[49:38] back to.
[49:40] And that's the deal.
[49:41] So, ultimately it should be no different
[49:44] at home
[49:45] or in a group.
[49:47] But
[49:49] you're seeing your stuff, so that's
[49:51] good.
[49:52] Just keep letting go.
[49:54] And
[49:55] be sincere and open and honest.
[49:58] And don't try to fool anybody.
[50:01] Cuz you're only fooling yourself.
[50:12] When we started singing, when Maharaj
[50:14] would ask us to sing,
[50:16] we would just stand there and go
[50:18] "Sri Ram
[50:19] Jai." Very Ram Das. Whatever.
[50:21] Sri Ram Jai
[50:24] Ram Jai.
[50:28] So, one day, one of the guys in who were
[50:31] hanging out with us
[50:34] knew that the Hare Krishna guys, they
[50:37] all they came to Vrindavan for the first
[50:38] time in 1971.
[50:41] Maybe they were there before, but they
[50:42] started coming in numbers.
[50:44] And one group came from Hawaii.
[50:47] So, this guy was from Hawaii, and he
[50:49] knew the leader of this group. So, he
[50:51] invited them to come to this to the
[50:52] temple to sing.
[50:54] So, like 20, they all they all came, and
[50:56] they had their drums and their bangers
[50:58] and their clangers, and they were
[50:59] dancing and everything.
[51:01] Maharaj loved it.
[51:02] He looks over and he goes,
[51:04] "Hare Krishna Maha mantra." Like it was
[51:06] a big secret, you know.
[51:10] So, then they left. He reaches in his
[51:12] dhoti, you know, and he pulls out a 50
[51:14] rupee note. And he gives it to me. He
[51:16] says, "Go buy a drum."
[51:19] From that 50 rupees,
[51:23] here we are.
[51:28] So,
[51:34] you know,
[51:35] uh um
[51:37] there was a great saint in the 1800s
[51:40] named Sri Ramakrishna.
[51:43] And uh
[51:46] he
[51:47] he he talked about the way chanting
[51:49] works.
[51:50] So
[51:52] He said, "Every repetition of the name
[51:55] is a seed.
[51:56] Okay?
[51:58] Just like a seed
[52:00] a little tiny seed could have a huge
[52:02] tree inside it, right?
[52:04] These seeds of the name have even a
[52:06] greater potential.
[52:08] They have reality inside, real love
[52:10] inside, truth."
[52:13] And he said, "So you you're chanting
[52:15] these names and the seeds of the name
[52:18] get caught by the wind
[52:20] and blown around.
[52:22] And some of the seeds get
[52:24] land on the roof of an old house
[52:27] in the middle of the jungle.
[52:30] And they get stuck between the tiles on
[52:32] the roof of the house. Okay?
[52:35] The seeds of the repetition of the name
[52:38] get stuck between the tiles on the roof
[52:40] of this house.
[52:41] And over time and seasons and wind and
[52:44] rain and whatever or sun,
[52:46] the tiles start to break down and get
[52:49] soft.
[52:51] At that point,
[52:52] the seeds start to
[52:55] take root. They start to grow.
[52:58] And the seeds the roots grow and they
[53:00] grow and they grow.
[53:04] And they destroy the roof of the house.
[53:08] And they keep growing.
[53:10] And they destroy the walls of the house.
[53:13] Ramakrishna said, "The house
[53:15] is who we think we are.
[53:19] Our
[53:20] version of ourselves, our so-called
[53:22] egos, who we think we are. That's the
[53:25] house which is destroyed
[53:28] by the repetition of the name.
[53:31] And you know what he doesn't talk about?
[53:33] He doesn't talk about how it feels when
[53:36] you're planting the seeds.
[53:38] Why? Because it's irrelevant.
[53:41] People ask me, "What do you feel when
[53:43] you when you chant?" I say, "How do I
[53:46] know?"
[53:48] If I if I think so if there's a thought
[53:51] comes through,
[53:52] I just let it go. I don't write it down.
[53:56] I come back to the sound of the name.
[53:59] But the thing is,
[54:00] this house
[54:02] with the walls and the roof,
[54:05] then there's an inside and an outside,
[54:07] right?
[54:08] Which is all the little houses in the
[54:09] room here.
[54:12] Every one of these houses in the room
[54:13] has an inside
[54:15] and outside. That's the rest of us.
[54:17] My outside is all of you. Your outside
[54:19] is everybody else.
[54:22] The repetition of the name
[54:24] dissolves those walls, and then there's
[54:27] open space.
[54:29] Nothing is lost. Everything is gained.
[54:33] The whole universe.
[54:36] You recognize yourself as the whole
[54:38] universe. Not just that what was in that
[54:40] little house.
[54:47] So you sing, you do your practice, and
[54:49] you live your life.
[54:52] That's it.
[54:54] And you try to treat people the way you
[54:56] would like to be treated.
[54:58] More than that
[55:00] is not necessary.
[55:03] That's enough of a job.
[55:06] I mean, think of how you go through the
[55:07] day.
[55:08] How many people do you treat the way you
[55:11] would like to be treated?
[55:13] No.
[55:15] We label everything and everyone. This
[55:17] one's good, this one's bad, this one's
[55:19] friend, this one's an enemy. This one's
[55:21] bigger, smaller, this one's higher on
[55:24] the chain of command at work.
[55:27] Everything's labeled, everything so we
[55:28] can navigate our egoistic way through
[55:31] our through our lives.
[55:34] And we never notice it because
[55:35] everybody's doing it.
[55:39] So,
[55:41] a little bit of practice
[55:43] and a lot of caring for other people
[55:46] and oneself.
[55:47] And a lot of good things can happen.
[55:50] Okay.
[55:53] Ram Ram.
[55:55] Same to you.
[55:57] Uh
[55:58] in COVID I talked to you
[56:00] and
[56:02] I meditate in I live in New York and I'm
[56:05] I was meditating
[56:07] and
[56:08] I found myself standing in the Hanuman
[56:11] Temple in India, Delhi.
[56:14] I don't know you remember or not.
[56:17] So,
[56:19] then I I thought
[56:21] what I'm doing in Hanuman Temple? So, I
[56:23] had Darshan of Hanumanji and my dad was
[56:26] devotee of Hanumanji.
[56:28] Then when I talked to you and I found
[56:30] about you,
[56:32] you told me read Ramcharitmanas
[56:36] and Miracle of Love.
[56:38] And I'm reading Ramcharitmanas last year
[56:41] I did, now I'm reading. I'm crying a lot
[56:45] because I didn't know my is the is God
[56:48] is deity is Ram. Did the what? What was
[56:52] that?
[56:52] The you know the
[56:55] deity some of the you know the the
[56:56] family by family come you know in India.
[56:59] Yeah.
[57:00] >> Like my grand grandparents
[57:03] because I was devotee of the Durga.
[57:06] The way I you know the raise in my you
[57:08] know have some of the your personal
[57:10] favorite God in India, right?
[57:12] >> Mhm.
[57:13] So, because I have Darshan of Durga as
[57:16] well. I have so much spiritual you know
[57:18] experience through but when you told me
[57:21] read Ramcharitmanas, it totally changed
[57:23] my life and
[57:26] now and every day you know because when
[57:30] I'm crying a lot when I read that
[57:32] Ramcharitmanas.
[57:34] So, they say in India and some of the
[57:36] guru are
[57:38] here.
[57:39] Only your guru can
[57:41] uh take you to the you deity the way you
[57:43] do it. So, through you I met Ram. And
[57:48] the Maharaj you know Hanuman Ji is a
[57:50] Lila you can say, you know. So, I will
[57:52] be thankful the rest of my life to you
[57:55] and Ram Das and the journey I I come
[58:01] from India and end up here in New York
[58:04] and uh
[58:05] doing kirtan. And my wife was worried
[58:08] because what's going on? What's going
[58:10] on? You know?
[58:12] And what happened? See,
[58:14] I bring my father-in-law here, too.
[58:16] And do some kirtan here, you know. He'll
[58:19] keep you straight.
[58:22] So, thank you so much. You know, he's a
[58:24] blessing and
[58:26] and
[58:27] Maharaj too. He gave me darshan. And my
[58:31] wife came last last year, too. Me and my
[58:33] wife.
[58:35] And he said she said who who's sitting
[58:37] behind there? I said nobody's sitting
[58:39] there.
[58:40] She has a darshan as well. So,
[58:43] we're really blessed. I'm I'm so
[58:45] emotional right now.
[58:47] So, thank you. Thank you.
[58:48] >> And as a guru I I really
[58:53] I will work for now. Thank you.
[58:54] >> Yeah, thank you.
[58:57] Yeah, Ramcharitmanas is a wonderful
[58:59] book.
[59:00] Ram Das gave me his copy to read
[59:03] before I went to India when I first met
[59:05] him.
[59:06] It's so beautiful, you know.
[59:10] Westerners,
[59:11] we're only programmed for one kind of
[59:13] love.
[59:14] Emotional love.
[59:16] There's other kinds of love.
[59:19] And this book which is the story of Rama
[59:23] told in a very
[59:24] devotional way, very open, loving way.
[59:27] It's extraordinary.
[59:29] It really re-programs your
[59:31] your heart
[59:32] and opens us to a a different way of
[59:35] loving, a different kind of love.
[59:38] It's very amazing.
[59:41] Yeah.
[59:42] A really beautiful book.
[59:46] Ramcharitmanas
[59:48] The The Manas like lake, the mind like
[59:51] lake of the stories of Ram. And every
[59:53] chapter is a descent deeper into the
[59:56] lake. It's really beautiful.
[59:59] Very beautiful.
[1:00:01] Tulsidas wrote that. He's the one who
[1:00:02] wrote the Hanuman Chalisa also.
[1:00:11] Yeah. Where Where's the mic? Okay.
[1:00:14] Got to
[1:00:15] keep it firing
[1:00:16] >> Hello. Oh.
[1:00:18] I have the mic. Hold on one second.
[1:00:20] Yeah.
[1:00:20] Roll off some more lows if you can. Just
[1:00:22] a little bit.
[1:00:24] Difficulty here.
[1:00:27] Okay. Yeah.
[1:00:28] Hey, my name is Coco.
[1:00:30] And my question is
[1:00:33] when I'm chanting, I'm usually mumbling
[1:00:36] and I hardly know what the hell I'm
[1:00:38] saying.
[1:00:39] But I put a lot of love behind it.
[1:00:41] So
[1:00:42] if I'm never know exactly what I'm
[1:00:44] saying, how do I keep going forward?
[1:00:47] Cuz I do love it. I pretty much chant
[1:00:49] every day to you in my car,
[1:00:52] you know, driving around. So
[1:00:53] but a lot of time I feel like I'm faking
[1:00:55] the funk.
[1:00:56] That's called a thought. Yeah.
[1:00:59] It's a thought, but I'm a big time
[1:01:00] mumbler. Yeah. Let it go. I don't know
[1:01:02] what these names mean.
[1:01:04] Great answer, brother. Yeah.
[1:01:07] The real The real meaning of these names
[1:01:09] is your own true nature.
[1:01:12] You know, yeah, there's a story line
[1:01:13] with all the names. They all come from
[1:01:15] out of these
[1:01:16] the stories from India, most of these
[1:01:18] names that we sing.
[1:01:20] But uh
[1:01:22] that's not the real meaning. The real
[1:01:24] meaning is your own soul
[1:01:27] soul, your own heart.
[1:01:29] And if you're feeling love, that's good.
[1:01:32] That's a nice feeling to have.
[1:01:34] Just keep chanting.
[1:01:35] You know, you want to spend the next 30
[1:01:37] years studying about what Ram means? You
[1:01:40] can do that, too.
[1:01:41] Then next life, you can start chanting
[1:01:43] again.
[1:01:47] But, it's up to you.
[1:01:49] And when you think, "What am I doing? I
[1:01:51] don't know what I'm That's called a
[1:01:52] thought." You let go, and you come back
[1:01:54] to the sound of the name. That's the
[1:01:56] only thing. The name itself will
[1:01:58] will reveal much to you. What's inside
[1:02:03] of us.
[1:02:04] We don't have to create it. All we have
[1:02:05] to do is pay attention.
[1:02:08] And as we pay attention and
[1:02:10] get closer to the sound and the feeling
[1:02:13] of the sound,
[1:02:15] things start to happen inside.
[1:02:17] You don't have to Nobody needs to tell
[1:02:19] you [ __ ] You'll find from inside what
[1:02:21] the truth is.
[1:02:24] But, don't You're feeling good right
[1:02:26] now. Don't stop if you
[1:02:27] All of a sudden, you don't feel good.
[1:02:30] You got to keep going. You have to go
[1:02:31] through that.
[1:02:33] Right now, you might be in a nice little
[1:02:35] What do they call it? A
[1:02:38] in the desert where there's a
[1:02:42] A what?
[1:02:44] Oasis. Oh, yeah. That's a rock group.
[1:02:46] Yeah.
[1:02:47] Yeah, yeah.
[1:02:48] You know, but then there might be some
[1:02:49] desert between now and the next oasis.
[1:02:52] So, but if you don't keep chanting, you
[1:02:54] just get stuck in the desert.
[1:02:56] So, you keep going. You can always let
[1:02:58] go.
[1:03:00] That's the amazing thing.
[1:03:02] Whatever it is, you can let go.
[1:03:04] But, you have to remember, "Oh, I can
[1:03:07] let go and come back." But, we get so
[1:03:09] stuck in stuff.
[1:03:11] We believe it. Like,
[1:03:13] you're practicing and then something
[1:03:14] happens in your life that's very
[1:03:16] difficult, and then you just stop
[1:03:18] practicing.
[1:03:19] And you get stuck in that stuff
[1:03:21] for x amount of time.
[1:03:23] And then it passes, and you remember,
[1:03:25] "Oh, wait a minute. I used to do this."
[1:03:27] And you start again.
[1:03:29] But you could have kept going all
[1:03:31] through that.
[1:03:32] But it's our expectations were so [ __ ]
[1:03:34] if we don't feel what I want to feel,
[1:03:36] then I'm not going to do this.
[1:03:38] Well,
[1:03:39] good luck, you know.
[1:03:41] So,
[1:03:42] you just keep going. Always let go.
[1:03:45] But it's not easy. We're not trained to
[1:03:47] let go. We're trained not to.
[1:03:50] You know.
[1:03:57] Okay.
[1:04:00] Jai Shri Ram, Krishna Das. It's so great
[1:04:03] to be here with you.
[1:04:05] Uh
[1:04:06] a little bit about me. I grew up in a
[1:04:08] household where we worshiped Lord Ram,
[1:04:12] Hanuman. So, grew up in a household with
[1:04:16] bhajan and kirtan. Uh and it came from
[1:04:19] my grandmom.
[1:04:20] And today I'm here to celebrate her
[1:04:22] birthday as well with you. Her birthday
[1:04:25] was on October 2nd, and here here's uh
[1:04:28] what other good way to celebrate her
[1:04:30] birthday? Yeah. Um
[1:04:33] Yeah, and I I came to USA 7 years ago,
[1:04:37] and you know, my grandmom, she did not
[1:04:39] want me to come all this way, and
[1:04:43] uh the last time I saw her, she was like
[1:04:45] crying and asking me, "Hey, don't leave
[1:04:49] me. Don't leave me." And we shared a
[1:04:51] very, very beautiful relationship. When
[1:04:54] you describe of your relationship with
[1:04:56] Maharajji, I'm just reminded of my
[1:04:58] relationship with my grandma.
[1:05:01] So, yeah, I mean, uh she told me, "Don't
[1:05:04] don't leave me." And then I came to USA.
[1:05:07] I'm like, "No, granny, I have to go. I
[1:05:09] have this
[1:05:10] You know, there's so many things I want
[1:05:11] to do, and I thought I would be coming
[1:05:13] here.
[1:05:14] And you know
[1:05:16] time just years flew by 1 year 2 year 3
[1:05:20] year just used to talk to her over the
[1:05:22] phone and then eventually she lost this
[1:05:25] ability of like recognizing me listening
[1:05:27] to me over the phone. I was watching I
[1:05:30] was with her through the video calls
[1:05:31] every day.
[1:05:32] And then yeah, I mean you know, I
[1:05:35] thought I would be able to go back to
[1:05:36] meet her.
[1:05:38] And then years flew by one day all of a
[1:05:40] sudden I was woken up in the middle of
[1:05:42] night with the news that she's not
[1:05:44] with us anymore.
[1:05:46] And the other beautiful like you know,
[1:05:49] the other thing which happened was that
[1:05:50] the day I lost her just one night prior
[1:05:53] to that I had this dream where I saw my
[1:05:57] grandmom on her deathbed.
[1:06:00] And she had this photo she had held this
[1:06:02] photo in her hand and she was saying
[1:06:04] that Maharajji is here to come take me.
[1:06:07] Maharajji is here to come take me.
[1:06:10] And I was just like hooking up and I
[1:06:13] knew that you know, my grandmom is not
[1:06:15] well. I just could not comprehend what
[1:06:18] was happening at that time and I had
[1:06:20] this very bad feeling that I'm going to
[1:06:22] lose her.
[1:06:23] And just the next day
[1:06:25] you know,
[1:06:26] after 12 14 hours I got this news. I was
[1:06:29] woken up in the middle of the night with
[1:06:31] the news that she has left us.
[1:06:34] So yeah, I mean you know, you helped me
[1:06:36] to get through the pain of losing her.
[1:06:39] But at the same time like you know, I'm
[1:06:41] just kind of very curious about this
[1:06:43] experience you know, coming here finding
[1:06:46] you being reminded of bhakti and how can
[1:06:51] I just like you know,
[1:06:53] uh keep following it.
[1:06:58] You can sit.
[1:07:01] That's how.
[1:07:04] You just have to live your life.
[1:07:06] All the seeds are in there. You just
[1:07:08] have to follow your heart.
[1:07:10] There's no
[1:07:13] There's nothing to join. There's no
[1:07:15] rules and regulations.
[1:07:18] Just be you.
[1:07:19] Find out what that is.
[1:07:21] That's the best thing. The only thing.
[1:07:24] It sounds like your grandmother very
[1:07:26] beautiful.
[1:07:28] That love will always be with you.
[1:07:30] The love never goes away.
[1:07:33] Bodies come and go. That's what they do.
[1:07:36] But love never goes.
[1:07:46] We can miss the bodies.
[1:07:48] And we do for a while.
[1:07:50] But the love is really what's always
[1:07:52] here.
[1:07:54] It's okay to miss bodies.
[1:07:56] That's what they're for.
[1:07:58] To be missed.
[1:08:02] Yeah.
[1:08:10] You don't have to stand. I got you.
[1:08:13] All right.
[1:08:13] Thank you for the opportunity.
[1:08:16] I have a My question is about your book.
[1:08:20] At first I
[1:08:21] >> The Bible?
[1:08:24] Oh.
[1:08:27] I know that's okay. I I know what book
[1:08:29] Yeah. Which one is that? Wait No, no,
[1:08:31] that's not my book.
[1:08:33] Yes.
[1:08:33] >> Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's in what
[1:08:35] Spanish? Or Portuguese? Portuguese. Ah,
[1:08:37] but it is uh
[1:08:39] Portuguese.
[1:08:40] Yes. Very good.
[1:08:43] My question is about
[1:08:46] in your book
[1:08:48] you explain your
[1:08:51] love with your guru, okay?
[1:08:55] And
[1:08:57] I don't understood
[1:09:00] who teach you be a musician.
[1:09:04] Um
[1:09:07] I saw that I I read the book. I
[1:09:10] understand my but
[1:09:14] you said musician
[1:09:16] where
[1:09:18] you um
[1:09:20] I love
[1:09:21] first about your music musician.
[1:09:23] >> Mhm.
[1:09:25] And the book you don't tell
[1:09:28] where
[1:09:29] the musician
[1:09:31] your musician so complex who teach you
[1:09:34] this.
[1:09:38] Who teach taught me what?
[1:09:40] Be a good musician. I I don't know if I
[1:09:43] am a good musician. No, you are. Oh,
[1:09:45] thank you.
[1:09:49] Now I know. No, about this use the
[1:09:51] drums, use the guitar, bass, who?
[1:09:57] I mean, I've always loved music. Uh
[1:10:01] I took
[1:10:02] trumpet lessons
[1:10:03] when I was a kid.
[1:10:06] I took piano lessons for a few months.
[1:10:10] And other than that, I just listened to
[1:10:11] music and played I taught myself guitar.
[1:10:15] You know,
[1:10:16] I don't know. You just absorb it.
[1:10:19] Nobody taught me.
[1:10:21] I mean
[1:10:23] you know, like when we were asked to
[1:10:25] come to the Grammys Yes. Yes. and we
[1:10:28] were asked to perform at the
[1:10:31] the smaller Grammys thing which was
[1:10:34] folk music, jazz, blues, world music. It
[1:10:38] wasn't the pop music thing.
[1:10:40] So
[1:10:42] they set us up on this rolling cart
[1:10:47] right?
[1:10:48] Offstage.
[1:10:50] And every we're all sitting me, Nina,
[1:10:53] Steve, who and Mark was there, right?
[1:10:56] Uh
[1:10:57] Arjun I think was there.
[1:10:59] So
[1:11:00] they set us up on this
[1:11:02] platform
[1:11:04] with the with the speakers, the
[1:11:05] monitors, and everything, you know, and
[1:11:07] the mixture.
[1:11:09] And then
[1:11:10] we were the first performers for the
[1:11:13] So they open it and the guy enters says
[1:11:15] hello and then he and they roll us out
[1:11:17] on the stage.
[1:11:21] And
[1:11:22] I looked in the front row
[1:11:25] and Herbie Hancock
[1:11:27] Pat Metheny
[1:11:29] Chick Corea
[1:11:31] and me and my little squeeze box.
[1:11:35] I thought, am I really going to squeeze
[1:11:37] this little thing in front of those
[1:11:38] people?
[1:11:45] But once I sing everything is okay, so
[1:11:48] but it was a funny moment.
[1:11:52] And I never prayed so hard
[1:11:57] as I prayed
[1:11:58] later that day
[1:12:00] to lose
[1:12:02] not to be not to win the award
[1:12:05] because you had to go up and make a
[1:12:06] speech
[1:12:08] in front of these people.
[1:12:09] What was I going to say? You know. Uh
[1:12:12] I learned how to squeeze this thing in
[1:12:14] India and now I do it in America.
[1:12:17] Thank you.
[1:12:20] Anyway
[1:12:22] uh
[1:12:26] music is very good.
[1:12:29] It pacifies the beast.
[1:12:32] But it's not enough to free you from
[1:12:35] suffering.
[1:12:37] The name is the medicine.
[1:12:39] The music is the sweet syrup
[1:12:42] that the medicine is hidden in.
[1:12:45] So we're very spoiled little babies. We
[1:12:47] don't want to take the medicine. So with
[1:12:49] the sweet syrup we take it.
[1:12:52] And that's what it's for.
[1:12:57] Thank you.
[1:13:03] Mics over there, yeah. You have to talk
[1:13:05] to him.
[1:13:07] Yeah, Namaskar. Namaskar, ji.
[1:13:10] Um how important is to have a guru in
[1:13:13] your life in order to get to the next
[1:13:16] level?
[1:13:17] Um because I'm very
[1:13:19] skeptical, so I also
[1:13:21] uh read a lot of watch lot, and what
[1:13:24] I've learned is detachment is the key
[1:13:26] thing. So What does that mean to you?
[1:13:28] Means you know, you don't really depend
[1:13:31] on anything in a people, family, life,
[1:13:35] money, anything. So That's absolutely
[1:13:37] wrong. 100% wrong.
[1:13:39] >> Yeah, yeah. So of course I'm wrong,
[1:13:40] that's why I'm here. Well, you
[1:13:44] Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
[1:13:47] I'm not sure what that means, you know.
[1:13:49] So
[1:13:50] point is Yeah. It it the we having a
[1:13:52] guru and then being attached to that
[1:13:55] form, right? I mean Well, that's that's
[1:13:57] also a problem, yeah. That that's a
[1:13:58] problem. So how do we kind of is it
[1:14:01] really important to have guru or just
[1:14:04] the chanting and then maybe doing what
[1:14:07] you said, four things, you know? Yeah.
[1:14:09] Treating people with love and doing
[1:14:10] whatever you have to do
[1:14:12] is all really can help you uh grow.
[1:14:16] Thank you. You're welcome, yeah. Thank
[1:14:17] you. Well, first of all, detachment
[1:14:20] is love.
[1:14:22] Love for everyone equally.
[1:14:24] That's detachment.
[1:14:26] Attachment makes one person closer,
[1:14:29] another person further away.
[1:14:31] Makes some foods more pleasant, some
[1:14:34] things unpleasant. That's attachment.
[1:14:36] Likes and the in the in in the third
[1:14:39] patriarch of Zen Buddhism said, "The
[1:14:41] great way is not difficult
[1:14:44] for those with no preferences."
[1:14:48] So that disqualifies all of us.
[1:14:52] So,
[1:14:53] but don't think about detachment as
[1:14:54] something cold and that all of a sudden
[1:14:57] you can't care about people and you
[1:14:59] you're the people you you love you don't
[1:15:02] love them anymore. This is wrong.
[1:15:05] Detachment means loving all, everyone,
[1:15:08] including yourself.
[1:15:11] Okay? When you look in the mirror, you
[1:15:13] don't doubt that you see you, right?
[1:15:16] Yeah, you're looking at your guru.
[1:15:20] Because
[1:15:22] Oh, thought it was a bird.
[1:15:26] You never know.
[1:15:28] Um or a monkey.
[1:15:31] Uh
[1:15:33] Yeah.
[1:15:36] A guru is ultimately important. Yes,
[1:15:38] nobody can make any contact any You
[1:15:41] can't advance on the path without a
[1:15:42] guru.
[1:15:43] But, guru doesn't mean physical body.
[1:15:47] Absolutely does not mean that.
[1:15:50] If you if any of us have any desire or
[1:15:53] any longing
[1:15:55] or any
[1:15:56] capacity for this for spiritual practice
[1:15:59] or this kind of We already have a guru,
[1:16:02] but the guru is inside.
[1:16:04] Guru, God, and self are not different.
[1:16:08] The body that I've got attached to, that
[1:16:10] wasn't the guru. That was the body of
[1:16:12] the guru.
[1:16:13] It's like
[1:16:14] when you when you drive a car and it
[1:16:16] breaks down, you don't cry. You just go
[1:16:19] get a new car.
[1:16:20] Well, that's what a guru does because
[1:16:23] guru is never identified with the body.
[1:16:27] They know who they are. They know what
[1:16:29] they are.
[1:16:31] And they know that they are one with us.
[1:16:35] And they know that they are not the
[1:16:36] body. The body is nothing to them.
[1:16:40] It's a a
[1:16:42] So, you don't sit around and wait for a
[1:16:44] guru because that's you because
[1:16:48] everything you do, every thought we have
[1:16:51] is karma.
[1:16:53] Is creating karma, every thought. So, if
[1:16:56] you sit around waiting for a guru,
[1:16:57] you're just waiting and you're not doing
[1:16:59] anything to help yourself.
[1:17:00] So,
[1:17:03] knowing that the guru lives within,
[1:17:06] not just me, but everybody,
[1:17:09] or God lives within everybody, then you
[1:17:12] start treating people that way.
[1:17:15] And then you see your attachments. You
[1:17:18] like this one better than that one. You
[1:17:19] treat this one differently than that
[1:17:20] one, right? All kinds of things. So, you
[1:17:23] start working with that.
[1:17:25] And you start trying to let go of those
[1:17:28] kind of judgments.
[1:17:31] But it's very hard to let go of thoughts
[1:17:33] unless you have
[1:17:36] s- something to come back to,
[1:17:38] which is what we call a practice.
[1:17:41] So, you either have a mantra
[1:17:43] or of the name or whatever mantra or or
[1:17:46] the breath, which is always there. You
[1:17:47] don't have to remember. It's always
[1:17:49] there even when you're not paying
[1:17:50] attention. So, you can always come back
[1:17:52] to the breath. The idea is to come back
[1:17:55] to you again and again and again and
[1:17:58] again and again and again and again and
[1:18:00] again. And little by little,
[1:18:03] we get more comfortable and familiar
[1:18:07] what it means what it feels like to be
[1:18:09] at home in ourselves. Just to be here.
[1:18:12] It expands. It deepens. It gets richer.
[1:18:16] It it juicier. Thing It changes. It's
[1:18:19] not just like, "Okay, I'm here.
[1:18:21] Now, I'm not here."
[1:18:23] It's not like that. Here is everywhere,
[1:18:25] but we don't know that.
[1:18:27] So, here is where the guru is also.
[1:18:33] But we don't we we identify with our
[1:18:36] bodies, so we can't imagine what's
[1:18:39] beyond the body.
[1:18:41] We can't. It's not possible because
[1:18:43] that's where thoughts don't go.
[1:18:46] So, what are you going to do?
[1:18:49] You're just going to sit around and
[1:18:50] wait, to trip and fall into somebody's
[1:18:52] lap, and then you're going to call that
[1:18:53] person a guru? No, you have to start
[1:18:55] right now taking care of yourself,
[1:18:58] honoring your your your karmas, who you
[1:19:00] are, where you are, what people you have
[1:19:02] to take care of, what people you you
[1:19:04] need to to cherish and take care of, and
[1:19:07] what you need in your life, what that
[1:19:09] you don't have, and what you have that
[1:19:10] you don't need.
[1:19:12] You just start cleaning up, cleaning
[1:19:13] your room, like my mother used to tell
[1:19:15] me.
[1:19:16] And I never did it.
[1:19:18] And now I don't do it, either.
[1:19:24] But, yeah, no, you don't sit around
[1:19:25] waiting for a guru.
[1:19:27] But, on the other hand, without guru,
[1:19:30] we
[1:19:31] A guru
[1:19:33] sh- keeps transmitting. It's like a
[1:19:35] homing beacon. You know what a homing
[1:19:37] beacon is? It's like you you go up to
[1:19:39] say, "Oh, no, it's here." And you go to
[1:19:40] say, "Oh, no, it's this way." It's like
[1:19:42] that, but it's inside.
[1:19:44] You know
[1:19:46] what you like and what you don't like.
[1:19:48] You know what you want. And if you
[1:19:50] really examine what you want,
[1:19:53] you'll start letting go of the external
[1:19:55] things and recognize what you really
[1:19:58] want
[1:19:59] is what you really want. We don't have
[1:20:01] to name it right now.
[1:20:03] And that's where you find That's where
[1:20:05] you connect more deeply with the inner
[1:20:07] guru.
[1:20:09] And
[1:20:11] that's the deal, you know.
[1:20:14] Yes, I suffered terribly because I was
[1:20:16] feeling Maharaj-ji everywhere until I
[1:20:19] met him.
[1:20:20] Once I met him, I got totally [ __ ]
[1:20:24] When I met him, I fell in love with that
[1:20:25] body.
[1:20:26] But, I was already in love with him
[1:20:28] before I met him. I felt him everywhere
[1:20:30] after I met Ram Dass. I felt him
[1:20:31] everywhere.
[1:20:33] And then I met him physically and I was
[1:20:34] like,
[1:20:35] "Wait a minute.
[1:20:37] How does all that fit inside that little
[1:20:39] body?"
[1:20:40] I couldn't figure it out. It was like a
[1:20:41] whoosh, you know?
[1:20:43] But
[1:20:45] that passed and I fell in love with the
[1:20:46] body and then I suffered when the body
[1:20:48] disappeared.
[1:20:51] But that was my karmas because that's my
[1:20:53] emotional makeup.
[1:20:55] Other people have different
[1:20:56] relationships.
[1:20:57] One time Ramdas was sitting there
[1:21:01] and Maharajji told Dada,
[1:21:04] who was one of his great devotees, he
[1:21:06] says,
[1:21:07] "Go tell Ramdas,
[1:21:09] he understands me perfectly."
[1:21:11] Because Ramdas was sitting towards the
[1:21:13] back and he was thinking, "I never have
[1:21:15] to see him again."
[1:21:17] That's the thought he was having and of
[1:21:19] course Maharajji knew that and so he had
[1:21:21] Dada go
[1:21:22] "Go tell him, he understands me
[1:21:24] perfectly."
[1:21:26] So, it's like that.
[1:21:29] We have this romantic thing we want to
[1:21:30] find a guru, we want to fall in love,
[1:21:32] but that's just [ __ ]
[1:21:34] That's us one once again looking for
[1:21:36] something outside of ourselves.
[1:21:38] Guru is not outside, never has been
[1:21:40] outside.
[1:21:42] Couldn't be outside.
[1:21:44] Within your life, within your heart,
[1:21:47] within your being
[1:21:49] is guru.
[1:21:51] So,
[1:21:54] there's nothing to wait for.
[1:21:56] Go ahead.
[1:21:58] Right?
[1:22:20] Where's the mic, anybody?
[1:22:26] Hello. Hi. I'm Diana. Hello Diana.
[1:22:30] First I want to say
[1:22:32] thank you.
[1:22:33] I want to say you're welcome.
[1:22:36] Um
[1:22:38] and so Spotify did this really fun thing
[1:22:42] last year at the end of the year where
[1:22:44] it gave you all your, you know, your
[1:22:46] most played song and all that stuff.
[1:22:50] And you took the big win for 542
[1:22:55] hours of listening to Krishna Das. You
[1:22:58] did? You did?
[1:23:00] Last year
[1:23:00] >> her a hand. Come on.
[1:23:01] >> 542 hours.
[1:23:05] I don't even listen to me that much.
[1:23:07] >> Yeah, it's a it's a lot. I I it was a
[1:23:10] it was a tough year, so every morning I
[1:23:12] I had made a whole playlist of your
[1:23:15] chants and you have talks just like
[1:23:17] these from 2012, 2013.
[1:23:21] And I would just listen to them every
[1:23:23] morning and listening to all the stories
[1:23:25] over and over. And every time I mean, I
[1:23:27] heard the stories so many times.
[1:23:30] >> Well, think about how many times I heard
[1:23:31] them.
[1:23:34] And um so I just, you know, thank thank
[1:23:37] you for for being who you are. And and
[1:23:39] through that time I realized that right?
[1:23:42] Cuz you're always you say a lot in the
[1:23:44] talks how it's it's not you, you know,
[1:23:46] it's not
[1:23:48] you're not doing anything. Don't believe
[1:23:50] me.
[1:23:52] But you're this conduit, right? Like
[1:23:54] you're the con and I and I finally
[1:23:56] awoken to the to the awareness of the
[1:23:59] presence of oh, it's Maharaji. Like
[1:24:01] that's what I'm that's what I'm feeling.
[1:24:04] Like that's what I'm connecting to by by
[1:24:07] listening to this. So I I came to that
[1:24:10] awareness. So
[1:24:11] >> Cool.
[1:24:12] Very good.
[1:24:12] >> Last year
[1:24:14] I came and I got here late and I walked
[1:24:18] in and you were telling one of my
[1:24:20] favorite stories of
[1:24:22] this time that you were traveling to go
[1:24:25] and see Maharaj. I think it was in
[1:24:26] Brindavan. I think he said something
[1:24:28] like, "Well, I'll see you in Brindavan."
[1:24:29] And and you and you get you finally get
[1:24:32] there. You got detoured and then you
[1:24:34] finally get there and you go in and
[1:24:37] you're like, "Oh, has Maharaj Maharaj
[1:24:38] been here?" You're like, "No, he hasn't
[1:24:39] been here in months." And it was
[1:24:41] "Oh, this is bad." You're going to tell
[1:24:43] the whole story and then No, no, it's
[1:24:44] And then you're going to ask me to tell
[1:24:46] the [ __ ] story after you TOLD IT?
[1:24:48] >> NO, NO, IT LEADS it leads to something
[1:24:50] very good. So, you know, then he
[1:24:52] Surprise me.
[1:24:57] I I was there. I was there. But surprise
[1:24:59] me.
[1:25:00] >> I know, but the story is about how he
[1:25:02] arrives at your most you know, the
[1:25:05] moment of despair. Yes. Like the timing.
[1:25:09] And how he would do that all the time.
[1:25:11] Like how it was play all the time, you
[1:25:13] know? Like he would tell Ram Dass, you
[1:25:15] know, like "Get rid of anger and I'll
[1:25:17] help you." But then orchestrating all
[1:25:19] these things to get Ram Dass to be
[1:25:21] angry.
[1:25:22] >> Yeah, it didn't take much.
[1:25:25] So, the next day
[1:25:27] I have you on in the morning again and
[1:25:29] I'm cleaning my apartment and I'm I'm
[1:25:31] going through trying to give up
[1:25:33] >> cleaning music now. Okay.
[1:25:36] I'm trying to give up sweets, right? I
[1:25:39] have a thing with cookies and I like to
[1:25:41] eat cookies.
[1:25:42] >> So do I. How are you going to give up
[1:25:43] sweets if I can't give up sweets? Well,
[1:25:45] so Okay. you're talking about willpower
[1:25:48] in the talk that was on. Oh, okay.
[1:25:51] And I'm like, "You know what?" And I
[1:25:53] have this cookie and I'm just in my mind
[1:25:55] the whole time I'm cleaning. I'm like,
[1:25:57] "I really want to eat this [ __ ]
[1:25:58] cookie."
[1:26:00] And finally I give in to it and the
[1:26:03] moment the cookie hits my mouth, you say
[1:26:08] on the
[1:26:10] the the the talk, "No more sugar." At
[1:26:13] that exact
[1:26:15] moment as I'm about to eat the cookie
[1:26:18] and I look up and I go, "Maharaji, I
[1:26:22] I know that you're here and you're
[1:26:24] playing with me right now, but I'm still
[1:26:26] going to eat this cookie."
[1:26:29] Very good. So, I just wanted to share
[1:26:32] that because
[1:26:34] I'm so grateful for the stories, right?
[1:26:37] I'm so grateful for the stories and for
[1:26:39] it to again awaken in me this play, this
[1:26:43] lila, and that he's always here
[1:26:46] orchestrating
[1:26:48] and in those moments and that was my
[1:26:50] first direct moment of understanding of
[1:26:53] all right, timing. Cool. So, thank you.
[1:26:55] I just really wanted to share that story
[1:26:57] with you.
[1:26:58] Do you you know that story that she's
[1:27:00] talking about?
[1:27:01] Yeah.
[1:27:02] I'll tell you.
[1:27:03] So,
[1:27:06] we were in Allahabad and at Dada's house
[1:27:10] and
[1:27:11] Ram Dass had arrived recently.
[1:27:15] Um, well, he'd come to Bodh Gaya first
[1:27:17] and then we went later.
[1:27:19] He had been on tour with Swami
[1:27:20] Muktananda
[1:27:22] and he had come to India for his second
[1:27:25] visit with Swami Muktananda and then he
[1:27:27] came up to find Maharaji.
[1:27:31] While he was
[1:27:32] with Swami Muktananda,
[1:27:35] he was invited had been invited to do
[1:27:37] this pilgrimage with him in South India
[1:27:39] and he agreed to do that.
[1:27:42] So, now he he said to Maharaji, he said,
[1:27:46] "You know, I I told Swami Muktananda I I
[1:27:48] would do this pilgrimage with him, but I
[1:27:50] really don't want to go. Do I have to
[1:27:52] go?"
[1:27:53] Maharaji said, "You said you would go,
[1:27:55] you have to go."
[1:27:57] So,
[1:27:58] we me and
[1:28:00] Ramesh and Dwarka and
[1:28:03] somebody, I think just
[1:28:04] and Ram Dass, we all took off.
[1:28:07] And um,
[1:28:09] Maharaji, as we were leaving, Maharaji
[1:28:10] said, "I'll meet you in Vrindavan."
[1:28:12] So, we left Allahabad and on the way
[1:28:15] south, we stopped in Vrindavan.
[1:28:18] But, he wasn't there.
[1:28:19] So, we continued on to the south
[1:28:22] for about
[1:28:23] I don't know, 3 weeks maybe, maybe a
[1:28:25] month, I don't know.
[1:28:26] Traveling around, it was fun.
[1:28:29] And um
[1:28:31] So, now we're heading up north.
[1:28:34] And we're
[1:28:35] we decided we would go to Vrindavan
[1:28:37] because that's where Maharaj said he
[1:28:38] would meet us.
[1:28:40] So, we drive up north and we finally get
[1:28:42] close to Vrindavan, but it's night time.
[1:28:45] And so, we stayed just outside of town
[1:28:49] in Krishna's birthplace. There was a
[1:28:50] little dharmshala.
[1:28:53] And in the morning, we got up
[1:28:56] and we drove
[1:28:57] to Vrindavan on the way to the to the
[1:28:59] temple. I was driving
[1:29:03] and I missed the turn.
[1:29:05] It was a right turn on the the road that
[1:29:07] goes around Vrindavan. It's called the
[1:29:08] parikrama marg.
[1:29:10] It goes around.
[1:29:12] And as a result of missing that turn, we
[1:29:14] got stuck in the bazaar
[1:29:17] in the morning
[1:29:18] with cows and carts and people and
[1:29:21] everywhere was so crazy and narrow
[1:29:24] little road like this and we were like
[1:29:26] uh you know. So, it took 15 minutes to
[1:29:29] get back
[1:29:30] to the spot where I missed the turn and
[1:29:33] then the temple was right there.
[1:29:36] So, we get to the temple.
[1:29:38] We go inside and we ask the the pujari,
[1:29:40] you know,
[1:29:41] "Maharaj here?"
[1:29:43] "No, we haven't heard of from him in
[1:29:45] months. We have no idea where he is."
[1:29:47] "Oh, really?"
[1:29:49] This was bad news. You know, there were
[1:29:51] no phones, no cell phones.
[1:29:54] There were even the the landlines never
[1:29:55] worked.
[1:29:57] What you had telegrams. That's how
[1:29:58] people communicated important things.
[1:30:02] So, somebody would know where Maharaj
[1:30:03] was, they would telegram people and
[1:30:05] everybody would start showing up, you
[1:30:06] know.
[1:30:09] So, what are we going to do? Well, let's
[1:30:10] go to Delhi. Maybe they know where he is
[1:30:12] there. We'll ask We'll go to this guy's
[1:30:14] house and
[1:30:16] So, we go back to the car and I was
[1:30:17] suicidal. I mean, I was like so
[1:30:19] depressed. I just couldn't believe we
[1:30:22] don't know where he is. We'll never find
[1:30:23] him.
[1:30:25] I put the key in the ignition
[1:30:27] and I'm
[1:30:28] just about to turn the key and this
[1:30:30] little Fiat screeches to a halt right
[1:30:32] next to the car.
[1:30:34] And I look and in the passenger seat,
[1:30:37] it's Maharaji.
[1:30:39] And he gets He's right here. He gets out
[1:30:41] of the car
[1:30:43] and he doesn't even look at us.
[1:30:45] And he goes right into the temple. He
[1:30:47] didn't even look at us. We're
[1:30:49] We're just like
[1:30:52] And he goes into the temple. I was huh?
[1:30:55] So, we go in and we had
[1:30:59] three beautiful days with him. It was
[1:31:01] Nobody else was there.
[1:31:03] They hadn't found out he was there yet.
[1:31:05] So, we had a couple of three days.
[1:31:07] Really great.
[1:31:09] Many years later,
[1:31:11] like
[1:31:13] 20 years later,
[1:31:15] I was with this guy, one of his great
[1:31:17] devotees in the Gurudakshana.
[1:31:21] And he says to me, "You remember that
[1:31:23] day that
[1:31:24] the car we arrived with Maharaji? I was
[1:31:26] also in that car."
[1:31:28] I said, "Yeah, yeah, that's Yeah, I
[1:31:29] forgot. Yeah." He said
[1:31:32] He said, "I'll tell you the story," he
[1:31:34] said.
[1:31:35] So, the night before they were in Kanpur
[1:31:37] or Lucknow, some town that's quite far
[1:31:40] away.
[1:31:41] And all the devotees
[1:31:43] were asleep in this big room, big living
[1:31:46] room.
[1:31:47] And in the middle of the night, Maharaji
[1:31:50] tiptoed around everybody and he tried to
[1:31:53] wake Gurudat up.
[1:31:54] But he couldn't wake him up. So, he
[1:31:56] picked him up and he threw him over his
[1:31:58] shoulder
[1:31:59] and he carried him out to the car and
[1:32:01] put him in the back of the car and then
[1:32:03] they took off
[1:32:05] in the middle of the night.
[1:32:07] And Gurudas wakes up at some point and
[1:32:08] goes, "Uh,
[1:32:09] what? You know, where am I?"
[1:32:11] So, he's Gurudas said, "Maharaji kept
[1:32:14] telling the driver, 'Go faster. Go
[1:32:15] faster.' All night long. Faster.
[1:32:18] Faster." And the guy's driving in the
[1:32:20] night, you know, the roads you can't
[1:32:21] see. There's no lights. You can't see
[1:32:23] anything.
[1:32:24] You know, "Faster. Faster." Just outside
[1:32:26] of Vrindavan, he said, "Stop."
[1:32:29] And he pulls over.
[1:32:31] And Gurudas said, "I thought it was a
[1:32:32] pee stop."
[1:32:34] But,
[1:32:35] he just sat there
[1:32:37] for 15 minutes.
[1:32:39] And then he goes,
[1:32:41] "Chalo. Let's go. Faster. Faster." He
[1:32:43] went like this. And he arrived
[1:32:47] just as I'm about to turn the key.
[1:32:52] Now, I don't know
[1:32:56] if
[1:32:58] if that's not enough to crack your mind,
[1:33:01] nothing will ever be enough. So, we
[1:33:03] might as well give up. Good night.
[1:33:08] I mean, come on. He did that on purpose.
[1:33:12] Okay.
[1:33:14] So, he did it on purpose.
[1:33:16] He could do anything. But, why would he
[1:33:19] do that?
[1:33:20] Just to kill us.
[1:33:23] We were in our moment of such despair. I
[1:33:26] can't describe it to you. We've been
[1:33:28] rolling around this, you know, with
[1:33:29] Muktananda and just dreaming of getting
[1:33:32] back to Maharaji.
[1:33:34] And then he's not there. We'll never
[1:33:36] find him. He could be anywhere.
[1:33:38] Sometimes he just disappeared for
[1:33:39] months. He'd go out of the temple. He'd
[1:33:41] say, "I'll be back later." Three months
[1:33:43] later.
[1:33:45] You know.
[1:33:47] So,
[1:33:49] that's the story
[1:33:51] that she's talking about.
[1:33:54] And that was the time that Ram Dass took
[1:33:56] that Maharaji took the acid for the
[1:33:57] second time.
[1:34:00] That's a good story.
[1:34:03] But you don't want to hear that.
[1:34:08] Okay.
[1:34:09] Twist my arm. Go ahead.
[1:34:12] So we're sitting there with Maharaj.
[1:34:15] And he looks around that he said,
[1:34:17] "When you were in India last time, did
[1:34:19] you give me medicine?"
[1:34:21] Ramdas said, "Yes."
[1:34:24] "Did I take it?"
[1:34:26] "I think so."
[1:34:28] Now you see, the backstory is
[1:34:31] the first time,
[1:34:32] you know, Ramdas met Maharaj, the second
[1:34:34] day
[1:34:36] he asked him for the medicine and he
[1:34:37] took enough acid to put a horse on the
[1:34:39] moon and nothing happened.
[1:34:42] So that was really big for Ramdas.
[1:34:46] But when And when he came back to
[1:34:47] America after that, he told everybody
[1:34:50] the story and some people would say,
[1:34:51] "Come on, he's he scammed you. He threw
[1:34:54] it over his shoulder. You know, nobody
[1:34:55] could take that much."
[1:34:57] Now,
[1:34:58] Ramdas didn't think so, but there really
[1:35:01] was a little bit of doubt
[1:35:03] in his mind.
[1:35:05] So Maharaj says, "Did I take it?"
[1:35:08] Ramdas said, "Yes, I think so."
[1:35:11] "Oh,
[1:35:12] got any more?"
[1:35:14] "Yes."
[1:35:16] "Give it to me."
[1:35:17] So Ramdas holds out four hits of Sandoz
[1:35:20] or Owsley acid, the best acid you could
[1:35:23] ever get.
[1:35:24] Maharaj goes like this. He takes a pill,
[1:35:27] he goes
[1:35:37] four times.
[1:35:40] And then he sits there for a minute, he
[1:35:41] says, "Can I drink water? Hot water?
[1:35:44] Cold water? Bring me water."
[1:35:46] He drank some water.
[1:35:48] Then after a couple minutes, he takes
[1:35:49] his blanket
[1:35:50] and he pulls it up over his head.
[1:35:53] And then he goes he opens it up and he
[1:35:55] goes like
[1:35:57] He closes his hand.
[1:36:00] Like this.
[1:36:01] I had never seen a purple human being
[1:36:04] before.
[1:36:05] Ram Dass actually turned purple right
[1:36:08] next to me.
[1:36:10] And he thought, "Oh my god.
[1:36:13] He didn't take it the first time. He
[1:36:15] knew he was trying to prove he could do
[1:36:17] it and now I've killed my guru, you
[1:36:19] know?" And he was like he totally lost
[1:36:21] his mind. The minute he thought it in my
[1:36:23] heart he just laughed and said,
[1:36:26] "This is nothing.
[1:36:28] For a yogi poisons can't affect him.
[1:36:30] This used to grow up in the Kulu Valley,
[1:36:32] you know? And he said, "No problem."
[1:36:34] Like that. It was just like
[1:36:37] He said, "Yogis would go
[1:36:40] they would calm their minds down and
[1:36:42] their bodies and bring their mind to one
[1:36:44] point, then they would take the soma and
[1:36:47] go through the door."
[1:36:51] He say,
[1:36:54] "If the mind is all over the place and
[1:36:56] you take these chemicals, you you just
[1:36:59] like it's like a crapshoot. Anything
[1:37:01] could happen. You go everywhere, all
[1:37:02] these things. But when your mind is at
[1:37:04] one point,
[1:37:06] to bring the mind to one point is not
[1:37:08] easy.
[1:37:10] You can't just put your mind somewhere
[1:37:12] and it'll stay there.
[1:37:13] Our own desires,
[1:37:16] the habits of thinking, the way we treat
[1:37:18] ourselves, our story lines, our whole
[1:37:20] lives are in that moment. And if it's
[1:37:23] not harmonized,
[1:37:25] you can't do it.
[1:37:26] It doesn't happen.
[1:37:28] And when your whole life is in harmony
[1:37:30] and your energy and prana is in harmony
[1:37:33] and you place your mind there and take
[1:37:35] the soma, you go through the door.
[1:37:39] But it's a very narrow door.
[1:37:42] So essentially, Ashtanga Yoga
[1:37:46] is a manual for taking the soma.
[1:37:49] That'll get me in a lot of trouble.
[1:37:55] But that's what he said.
[1:37:56] Yama, yama, yama niyama, asana,
[1:38:00] pranayama,
[1:38:01] pratyahara,
[1:38:02] whatever it is, I don't know all that
[1:38:04] [ __ ]
[1:38:05] But you bring you calm the body, the
[1:38:07] mind, the body, the breath, then you
[1:38:09] bring the mind to one point.
[1:38:12] And then you go through the door and you
[1:38:13] have samadhi.
[1:38:15] And that's all those things.
[1:38:19] So.
[1:38:22] Anybody got any acid?
[1:38:27] I think if I took acid now my arms and
[1:38:29] legs would fall off. I'm just like
[1:38:32] it's weird.
[1:38:35] Ram Dass was thinking about taking a
[1:38:36] hit. He get out of the hospital, he
[1:38:38] almost died in the [ __ ] hospital,
[1:38:39] then comes home and says, "I think I'll
[1:38:40] take some mushrooms."
[1:38:43] We didn't let him do it.
[1:38:50] That wasn't That wasn't too long before
[1:38:52] he left, huh?
[1:38:56] He left the hospital.
[1:38:59] He left the hospital. He was so happy in
[1:39:00] the hospital. Lying in bed, getting
[1:39:03] taken care of. All the nurses and
[1:39:05] doctors would come in to see him. It was
[1:39:07] just great. He was giving darshan in the
[1:39:08] hospital bed.
[1:39:10] So happy.
[1:39:12] He didn't want to leave.
[1:39:21] Hi Katie. Where are you? I'm all the way
[1:39:24] over here. Nice to see you.
[1:39:26] >> Fancy meeting you here. Um
[1:39:28] >> me out.
[1:39:31] So I became a member of the Kirtan Posse
[1:39:33] in January, so maybe everybody else
[1:39:35] knows this. It's more of a curiosity
[1:39:37] than a philosophy question. I've noticed
[1:39:39] you put something in your mouth before
[1:39:41] you start singing, and I'd love to know
[1:39:44] what it is.
[1:39:45] >> Yeah, LSD.
[1:39:49] I got a bet with my husband here, so
[1:39:52] Uh-huh. It's called Ricola.
[1:39:54] It's good for your throat. Awesome. But
[1:39:57] it'll rot your teeth, so brush your
[1:39:58] teeth if you use it. Cool. Thanks. Yeah.
[1:40:01] >> Now I know. Maybe I should have never
[1:40:03] asked.
[1:40:03] >> Maybe not.
[1:40:10] Oh, what a day.
[1:40:14] Anybody else?
[1:40:17] Where are you?
[1:40:18] I don't know. Oh, hi. Who's got the mic?
[1:40:22] Somebody have the mic? Yes. Where are
[1:40:24] you? Oh, back there. Okay. We'll get
[1:40:26] >> Hello. I kind of a follow-up on the
[1:40:28] young Orthodox Jewish lady's question.
[1:40:30] Okay. Um why do you think Maharaji, and
[1:40:34] I know you all you didn't proselytize,
[1:40:36] but why do you think
[1:40:38] he encouraged you to follow his cultural
[1:40:41] way?
[1:40:43] He didn't. I I know I know you'll say
[1:40:45] that, but somehow it happened that
[1:40:47] you're
[1:40:48] you're in his way and not and you know I
[1:40:51] know you know his love for Jesus Yeah.
[1:40:54] and for and your appreciation of the
[1:40:57] Baal Shem Tov
[1:40:59] or Rumi and it could have been
[1:41:02] any of those cultural paths, but it but
[1:41:04] it wasn't. Could have been, but it
[1:41:06] wasn't. Wha- why? I don't know. And
[1:41:10] have you ever had any you 50 years that
[1:41:13] any struggle not that you maybe you
[1:41:16] weren't on the right cultural spiritual
[1:41:19] path?
[1:41:20] Is my question.
[1:41:21] Yeah, thanks, but I don't see it as a
[1:41:23] cultural path at all. It's totally
[1:41:25] personal.
[1:41:26] My relationship with Maharaji is just me
[1:41:28] and him.
[1:41:30] Uh
[1:41:31] we were in India, so we wanted Indian
[1:41:33] names, so he was kind enough to to be
[1:41:35] you know, to give us names, but
[1:41:37] he didn't make us Hindus. We're not
[1:41:39] Hindus. He didn't initiate me. I don't
[1:41:41] have a thread. I didn't ever do any
[1:41:43] ceremony
[1:41:44] making me Hindu. I don't I'm not a
[1:41:45] Hindu. I'm a human being.
[1:41:48] Hopefully.
[1:41:50] I'm working on it. Let's put it that
[1:41:51] way. So, as far as the cultural thing,
[1:41:54] that's not relevant to me. Since you're
[1:41:56] asking me, I'm telling you how I feel
[1:41:58] about it.
[1:41:59] Um
[1:42:01] I see all the different religions and
[1:42:03] paths as as useful and leading to the
[1:42:06] same goal.
[1:42:07] It's just a question of your
[1:42:09] what you what you like. Sometimes you
[1:42:12] feel like an nut, sometimes you don't.
[1:42:14] You know, it it's not a big thing.
[1:42:17] It's natural. I was always attracted to
[1:42:19] India right from day one. I always
[1:42:21] wanted to go there
[1:42:23] and um
[1:42:24] from very early age.
[1:42:26] I
[1:42:28] I felt very
[1:42:29] pulled to that.
[1:42:31] And just
[1:42:32] must have been some kind of memory or
[1:42:34] something, but I don't know why other
[1:42:36] than that.
[1:42:38] It's not exclusive of anything, you
[1:42:40] know, it's not
[1:42:42] My Maharaji had devotees from all
[1:42:44] different religions.
[1:42:46] Christians come to see him, Muslims who
[1:42:48] come to see him, Sikhs who come to see
[1:42:50] him.
[1:42:52] People who didn't believe anything would
[1:42:53] come to see him. I mean, he was open to
[1:42:55] everybody. There was no
[1:42:57] uh
[1:42:59] there was no
[1:43:01] requirements, you know.
[1:43:03] And like somebody was saying with
[1:43:05] grandmother before, he used to say,
[1:43:08] "When you come here to the temple, you
[1:43:10] should feel like you're coming to your
[1:43:11] grandfather's house.
[1:43:13] Everything is given. You don't have to
[1:43:14] do save it to eat. You just come.
[1:43:16] Everything whatever you want."
[1:43:19] And that's the way it felt. It wasn't a
[1:43:21] Hindu temple for us. It was his house.
[1:43:24] You know, it was where he lived. And so
[1:43:27] we that's why we were there.
[1:43:29] Yeah, there were there were rituals that
[1:43:31] were going on, but
[1:43:33] they were nice, but they weren't
[1:43:35] they weren't our main thing, you know,
[1:43:37] our main thing was hanging out with him.
[1:43:39] So.
[1:43:41] Okay? Is that okay?
[1:43:44] I mean, you know, there's just not There
[1:43:46] isn't more to it than that. It's not
[1:43:47] like
[1:43:48] there's some secret meaning in anything.
[1:43:50] It's just
[1:43:52] me and him.
[1:43:54] It was a personal relationship.
[1:43:59] It is personal relationship.
[1:44:01] I remember once I was watching TV late
[1:44:03] at night
[1:44:05] and one of those infomercials came on,
[1:44:07] you know? You know who Tom Landry was?
[1:44:10] He was the first big coach of the Dallas
[1:44:13] Cowboys. Big football coach. Big
[1:44:16] well-known guy.
[1:44:17] So, he comes on this infomercial and he
[1:44:20] asked me
[1:44:21] through the television if I wanted a
[1:44:23] personal relationship with God.
[1:44:28] Yeah.
[1:44:30] He said, "Just call this number.
[1:44:31] 1-800-God."
[1:44:35] So, I called the number.
[1:44:37] And I
[1:44:38] gave him my credit card number.
[1:44:41] And I never got the [ __ ] book.
[1:44:46] Can you believe it?
[1:44:48] I believe it.
[1:44:50] Personal relationship with your credit
[1:44:51] card company.
[1:44:55] But yeah, Maharaji didn't program us
[1:44:57] like that. It wasn't
[1:44:59] It was all open and free.
[1:45:02] He didn't
[1:45:04] force us to be anything. We didn't wear
[1:45:06] the same clothes. We didn't even like
[1:45:07] each other, you know?
[1:45:10] Really.
[1:45:11] Little clicks in the group, you know, we
[1:45:13] don't like those people.
[1:45:15] So,
[1:45:16] so.
[1:45:21] Yeah.
[1:45:24] Where's the mic?
[1:45:25] Okay. Uh hello, my name is Arsh and I
[1:45:28] would like to thank you first for Hold
[1:45:30] the mic a little closer. For
[1:45:32] introducing me to the love
[1:45:34] of God and Maharaj.
[1:45:36] My question is what should one follow?
[1:45:40] Should one follow the mind which is a
[1:45:42] little bit more practical but
[1:45:45] always fills us with regret of not
[1:45:47] following our heart or follow the heart
[1:45:50] that is more rebellious and more It's
[1:45:52] It's a little impractical.
[1:45:57] There's not two things going on inside
[1:45:59] of you. There's just you.
[1:46:01] Figure out who you are and figure out
[1:46:02] what you want and go for it.
[1:46:05] It's
[1:46:06] It's not Are you two different things?
[1:46:08] Do you talk to yourself in different
[1:46:10] languages every day? Today I'll be
[1:46:12] Indian. Tomorrow I'll be American and
[1:46:14] I'll do this.
[1:46:15] It's just you.
[1:46:17] So
[1:46:21] don't panic.
[1:46:23] Calm your ass down.
[1:46:25] Relax.
[1:46:26] Life is going to happen whether you like
[1:46:28] it or not.
[1:46:29] So just be with it and see where it
[1:46:31] takes you and follow your heart.
[1:46:33] Which means not not as opposed to the
[1:46:36] mind.
[1:46:37] The mind is where that interprets the
[1:46:40] feelings that arise. But you your
[1:46:42] intuition what what makes you happy.
[1:46:45] And combination of what makes you happy
[1:46:47] and what you have to do your
[1:46:48] responsibilities. You have to find
[1:46:51] some way to live inside of both of those
[1:46:53] things at the same time.
[1:47:01] There's people up here in front who have
[1:47:03] questions.
[1:47:06] Where's the mic?
[1:47:08] Oh, he's already over there already. All
[1:47:09] right.
[1:47:14] Uh pranam Krishna Das. Thank you for
[1:47:17] just having us all here and I just want
[1:47:19] to thank everybody who's here.
[1:47:22] Yesterday evening when everybody was
[1:47:23] singing and you were singing,
[1:47:26] I felt that everybody is singing
[1:47:30] uh for me to get deeper inside me.
[1:47:34] And it was just magical and I cannot
[1:47:37] express in words. Mhm. Uh so just want
[1:47:39] to thank you.
[1:47:41] Um
[1:47:42] the question I have is
[1:47:44] that I always feel scared of death all
[1:47:47] the time.
[1:47:48] And
[1:47:50] I'm sorry, you missed that. What's that?
[1:47:51] You always
[1:47:52] feel scared of death. Scared of death?
[1:47:56] Death. Uh-huh.
[1:47:57] And when I the more I sit with myself,
[1:48:00] the more I realize death is the only
[1:48:03] reality and it will come to me, my dear
[1:48:05] ones whom I love.
[1:48:07] And I just don't know how to
[1:48:10] deal with that emotion
[1:48:12] and constant fear of death.
[1:48:17] Mhm.
[1:48:32] Wait till you get old.
[1:48:34] Then you really get scared.
[1:48:40] I don't know.
[1:48:43] It sounds like you're more afraid of
[1:48:44] life than death, actually.
[1:48:48] And you're using that to just kind of
[1:48:50] shut yourself down.
[1:48:53] I don't know. I don't know either. How I
[1:48:55] know? It's you.
[1:48:58] But um
[1:49:02] I mean
[1:49:05] you know
[1:49:06] it's inevitable.
[1:49:07] Right? For everybody. Everybody in this
[1:49:09] room going to die.
[1:49:12] Probably.
[1:49:14] Yeah, you see? Everybody's is to go.
[1:49:17] So there's no sense even thinking about
[1:49:19] it.
[1:49:20] Just live every day.
[1:49:22] Make every day the best day of your
[1:49:24] life, though.
[1:49:26] Because
[1:49:28] some time will come you won't be able to
[1:49:30] tell the people you love that you love
[1:49:31] them anymore.
[1:49:33] So,
[1:49:34] take the opportunity now to live fully.
[1:49:38] You know?
[1:49:39] That's This is the shot you have.
[1:49:42] Yeah. So, you might as well take it.
[1:49:45] Right?
[1:49:47] And um
[1:50:03] Death is of the physical body.
[1:50:07] And then we identify with that, so it
[1:50:09] seems
[1:50:10] like a big thing to us.
[1:50:12] Because we identify We think we are our
[1:50:14] bodies, our minds, our emotions, that
[1:50:18] So, if the body's gone, then we're gone.
[1:50:21] What a surprise it's going to be
[1:50:25] that when the body goes, we'll still be
[1:50:26] here.
[1:50:28] At night when you're sleeping,
[1:50:30] your body You're not aware of your body,
[1:50:33] but you're quite
[1:50:36] aware
[1:50:37] and dream You're living in dreams, and
[1:50:39] that seems totally real to you.
[1:50:41] Right? If you die in a dream, you'll
[1:50:44] weep and cry if somebody dies in a
[1:50:46] dream, and then you wake up. Oh, it's
[1:50:47] just a dream.
[1:50:49] Well,
[1:50:52] they say this is a dream, too.
[1:50:55] The one we're stuck in, just like at
[1:50:57] night.
[1:50:58] You That's totally real to you when you
[1:51:00] dream.
[1:51:01] Right?
[1:51:03] If we wake up from this, we say, "Oh,
[1:51:05] I really thought that was real. It's
[1:51:07] just a dream."
[1:51:09] It doesn't make it unimportant.
[1:51:12] It doesn't mean we don't do the best we
[1:51:13] can. It doesn't mean we don't live best
[1:51:16] way we can.
[1:51:18] It doesn't mean we don't treat people
[1:51:19] well, don't treat ourselves well, but
[1:51:27] there's a quality about it.
[1:51:30] It's always changing.
[1:51:35] But inside of all that change, there's a
[1:51:38] thing in in us that's very real.
[1:51:41] Our own true nature.
[1:51:44] Who you really are
[1:51:45] is never is not the dream.
[1:51:48] It's not the experiences we have in the
[1:51:50] daily lives.
[1:51:53] But in order to uh
[1:51:57] become more aware of that, one has to do
[1:52:00] something. One has to look.
[1:52:02] You know.
[1:52:03] It's not
[1:52:27] Like I told you the story at the very
[1:52:29] beginning about that old baba,
[1:52:31] the old yogi.
[1:52:32] And Krishna came to him and said, "Come
[1:52:34] play with me in Vrindavan."
[1:52:36] So, he dropped the body and went to went
[1:52:38] to play with Krishna.
[1:52:39] The body is nothing for him. These great
[1:52:41] beings, they don't
[1:52:43] they're not like us.
[1:52:45] We think this is real.
[1:52:47] You know, we really do.
[1:52:51] So, if this is real,
[1:52:53] if this is our shot, if this is what we
[1:52:56] have,
[1:52:57] then maybe we should do the best we can.
[1:53:00] Right?
[1:53:01] Right now, maybe we should try to
[1:53:03] overcome those kind of fears and really
[1:53:05] live
[1:53:07] and really give ourselves to life and
[1:53:09] really
[1:53:11] open up and and be with the people we
[1:53:13] love and share that love with them and
[1:53:17] don't have so we won't have regrets when
[1:53:19] we take our last breath.
[1:53:21] Right?
[1:53:22] When you take your last breath you're
[1:53:23] going to oh [ __ ] I was so scared of this
[1:53:25] I didn't do [ __ ] all my time.
[1:53:27] And I wanted to watch television I never
[1:53:29] did.
[1:53:31] I was too afraid.
[1:53:33] But you don't want that.
[1:53:34] You want to live now.
[1:53:37] And
[1:53:40] that's how you go through the day.
[1:53:42] That's important.
[1:53:54] Yeah. I mean there's a lot to say about
[1:53:56] that but
[1:53:57] main thing is the quality of your life
[1:54:01] you're responsible for that.
[1:54:04] So
[1:54:06] if you allow if we allow ourselves to be
[1:54:10] paralyzed by fear of one thing or
[1:54:12] another
[1:54:14] it could be death it could be life it
[1:54:15] could be might be afraid of cross the
[1:54:17] street all kinds of things.
[1:54:23] It behooves us
[1:54:25] to work with that stuff you know because
[1:54:27] we can.
[1:54:29] We can.
[1:54:30] You don't have to be victim of that
[1:54:32] stuff.
[1:54:33] That's some
[1:54:35] program that's running in there you know
[1:54:37] some some some story line that
[1:54:41] we get caught in.
[1:54:43] It it doesn't have to be like that. We
[1:54:45] have the power within
[1:54:48] to overcome those kind of things and
[1:54:50] learn to let go of them and
[1:54:53] live good lives
[1:54:56] despite the fact that it's true
[1:54:57] everybody's going to die but what do you
[1:54:59] do?
[1:55:00] You just like stop eating now.
[1:55:03] Well, you can't.
[1:55:05] There's a
[1:55:07] We're impelled by our
[1:55:10] life situation to keep going on.
[1:55:12] So, we should try to go on the best way
[1:55:14] we can.
[1:55:15] Whatever that means to you because
[1:55:17] that's what you have to find. What does
[1:55:18] that mean?
[1:55:20] Yeah. You might live to be 3 million
[1:55:22] years old. You go like, "Shit, when I
[1:55:23] was 40, I was so scared. Now I'm 3
[1:55:26] million, I'm still here. I wasted so
[1:55:28] much time."
[1:55:31] Right?
[1:55:37] It depends, you know, on On the other
[1:55:38] hand, there's there's meditation
[1:55:40] practices where you meditate on the the
[1:55:42] dissolution of the body.
[1:55:45] You you visualize
[1:55:47] the blood and the pus and the goo and
[1:55:50] the the grime and the slime as it
[1:55:54] disintegrates and gets eaten by bacteria
[1:55:56] and worms and
[1:55:58] just this is what
[1:56:00] brings real love to your heart.
[1:56:05] But that's that's the advanced practice.
[1:56:13] So, yeah.
[1:56:19] You can get a vote as to how you go
[1:56:21] through the day.
[1:56:23] But you have to
[1:56:26] Don't try to push the fear away.
[1:56:28] Be with it.
[1:56:30] See where it is. See where it comes
[1:56:32] from.
[1:56:34] Be with it. It'll go away.
[1:56:36] It's just It's a trip your karmas are
[1:56:39] running on you, but you can
[1:56:41] you don't have to be tricked by that.
[1:56:45] Good luck.
[1:56:54] Pranam, Krishna Das. Thank you for your
[1:56:56] grace. You're related to her? Yes. Not
[1:56:59] two questions from one family.
[1:57:03] But as you said, spirituality is an
[1:57:06] personal. It's not a
[1:57:08] family relationship.
[1:57:11] Okay. Uh
[1:57:12] I've started meditating and
[1:57:15] questions are dropping
[1:57:18] from inside.
[1:57:20] But still I have I would like to know a
[1:57:23] bit the more I read about Ram Dass and
[1:57:25] you I feel that you both were very
[1:57:28] different personalities and
[1:57:31] your journeys have been very different
[1:57:33] through in spirituality.
[1:57:36] Uh
[1:57:36] he seems to be more of a meditative kind
[1:57:38] of a person than you more of have a
[1:57:40] surrender and love.
[1:57:42] Uh
[1:57:43] just want to know your
[1:57:46] your your views on it. Like how do you
[1:57:48] see your journey
[1:57:51] and Ram Dass's journey?
[1:57:54] Any interesting stories that in the way
[1:57:57] in the difference between your journey
[1:57:59] and his journey would be also like I
[1:58:01] would love to hear. And he's a lot
[1:58:03] smarter than I am. That's all. That's
[1:58:04] for sure.
[1:58:06] But the journey was the same. It's a
[1:58:08] journey of surrender into Maharaj.
[1:58:11] No different.
[1:58:12] He talked a lot. I sing a lot.
[1:58:16] That's the only difference.
[1:58:18] We're both devotees of Maharaj and both
[1:58:20] of us
[1:58:23] we want to be in that love all the time.
[1:58:27] Same thing.
[1:58:36] He's older.
[1:58:38] Not just physically. I mean you you feel
[1:58:40] he's a
[1:58:42] more
[1:58:44] expansive in a way.
[1:58:47] Maharaj looked at him one day and said
[1:58:50] "Ram Dass, you're the
[1:58:51] commander-in-chief.
[1:58:52] Krishna Dass, you're the general.
[1:58:55] Okay.
[1:58:57] So, he's the commander in chief.
[1:59:01] So, there's
[1:59:03] But, when it came to loving Maharaj, it
[1:59:05] was very He really
[1:59:07] especially in those last years.
[1:59:24] He really melted into him beautifully,
[1:59:26] really.
[1:59:30] One time, uh
[1:59:33] Maybe once in a while he gets stuck in
[1:59:34] his head, you know. One time
[1:59:37] on Monday mornings, they went to the
[1:59:38] beach
[1:59:40] where he was able to get in the water
[1:59:41] and be free of the weight of the body,
[1:59:43] you know, 20 years in a wheelchair.
[1:59:47] Very difficult.
[1:59:48] So, he'd get in the water with these
[1:59:50] tubes and floats and
[1:59:52] be free from the body weight.
[1:59:55] So, I would I would catch up with him
[1:59:56] later in the day cuz I
[1:59:59] sleep late.
[2:00:01] And I So, I get to the beach and I'm
[2:00:03] walking towards the beach and I see he's
[2:00:04] sitting in a car in the other in the
[2:00:06] edge of the parking lot.
[2:00:09] So, I walked over and the door was open
[2:00:13] by his seat.
[2:00:14] And he was just
[2:00:16] stewing. He was just like
[2:00:23] Just sitting there like that. So, I
[2:00:24] stood down for a minute and
[2:00:27] he looked over at me. He goes,
[2:00:29] "I'm a fake.
[2:00:32] And you're a fake, too."
[2:00:35] So, I just looked at him and I said,
[2:00:37] "Yeah,
[2:00:38] but we're real fakes."
[2:00:40] He just
[2:00:41] He just lost it. It was great.
[2:00:50] You know
[2:00:52] about Ram Dass who because he's
[2:00:55] American
[2:00:57] and western
[2:00:59] we don't
[2:01:02] He was a saint.
[2:01:03] He really was.
[2:01:05] He was really
[2:01:09] He was a lotus that grew out of the mud.
[2:01:12] And yeah, there was a lot of mud.
[2:01:14] But he grew out of that mud.
[2:01:16] And it was very beautiful.
[2:01:20] But we have a
[2:01:22] I
[2:01:23] I remember when my friends were going up
[2:01:25] to see him for the first time.
[2:01:27] And they asked me did I want to see this
[2:01:28] guy, you know, Richard Alpert who is now
[2:01:30] Ram Dass. I said, "No.
[2:01:32] No American yogis, what do I care about
[2:01:35] that?
[2:01:37] Once an [ __ ] always an asshole."
[2:01:40] So, there you go.
[2:01:46] Heard of you, Rama? Anybody?
[2:01:50] Where's the mic? Oh, okay.
[2:01:53] Um
[2:01:56] How would you
[2:01:59] describe your um
[2:02:03] experience
[2:02:05] of
[2:02:08] this stuff?
[2:02:09] Of what?
[2:02:11] This stuff, Maharaji, your time in India
[2:02:15] um
[2:02:16] between coming back from India
[2:02:20] and um
[2:02:23] having the the experience, the idea that
[2:02:26] you wanted to sing with people.
[2:02:28] I've always been curious about
[2:02:31] how these teachings felt to you
[2:02:34] in that time in between.
[2:02:38] I was suicidal a lot of time.
[2:02:41] Very depressed.
[2:02:43] Very unhappy.
[2:02:46] Because being with Maharajji I I I
[2:02:49] experienced love
[2:02:51] in a way I'd never experienced it
[2:02:52] before.
[2:02:54] And I got attached to his body.
[2:02:57] So when the body wasn't there, where was
[2:02:58] I going to find that love?
[2:03:01] It wasn't I wasn't going to find it
[2:03:02] anywhere.
[2:03:04] I had lost it and it was gone.
[2:03:08] Ultimately gone.
[2:03:10] There was no second coming. It was over.
[2:03:14] It was brutal for me.
[2:03:16] It took me a long time.
[2:03:20] And then they saved me. I didn't I
[2:03:22] couldn't save myself. They saved me.
[2:03:24] He came back to me and opened me up
[2:03:26] again.
[2:03:31] I I I was helpless.
[2:03:33] I'm still helpless. I just look like I'm
[2:03:34] not.
[2:03:36] I can't do [ __ ]
[2:03:38] It's all them. I don't have I'm I can
[2:03:40] sing a little bit.
[2:03:43] That's it.
[2:03:45] They they saved me.
[2:03:47] In
[2:03:48] 1984
[2:03:50] Was it four?
[2:03:51] 1984, yeah. 1995.
[2:03:54] No, 90 80 No, no, no.
[2:03:58] Something Some year around there.
[2:04:02] It's in my book.
[2:04:06] The whole story.
[2:04:08] He came back and he opened me up and
[2:04:09] that was like being born again.
[2:04:12] It's like
[2:04:13] okay, let the kid live.
[2:04:16] But I was helpless.
[2:04:20] I really was. I couldn't do it.
[2:04:23] There was nobody in
[2:04:25] my my family, my life. There was nobody
[2:04:28] doing anything.
[2:04:30] I had no
[2:04:31] examples of anybody taking care of
[2:04:33] themselves.
[2:04:36] It was really
[2:04:38] bleak
[2:04:39] for a lot of years.
[2:04:42] And the suffering that I caused other
[2:04:44] people because I was so unhappy it was
[2:04:47] also
[2:04:48] terrible.
[2:04:50] But I couldn't help myself.
[2:04:55] What can I say?
[2:04:56] And then they just they just boom and
[2:04:58] then it all changed.
[2:05:05] And it's not like I'm not saying I
[2:05:06] deserve that.
[2:05:08] That would be
[2:05:10] ridiculous.
[2:05:11] Grace is grace. Nobody deserves grace or
[2:05:14] it wouldn't be grace.
[2:05:16] It would be something you earned.
[2:05:18] But grace
[2:05:19] is causeless. It just happens.
[2:05:23] And it happened.
[2:05:25] And I happened to be there.
[2:05:27] And here we are.
[2:05:30] That's the deal.
[2:05:35] So when I say it's difficult
[2:05:39] to get this together and do something
[2:05:41] that's actually good for ourselves, I
[2:05:43] mean it.
[2:05:46] It's difficult. It's very hard
[2:05:49] to overcome the flow of stupidity that
[2:05:51] we call life.
[2:05:53] You know.
[2:05:55] Bouncing off of this, bouncing off of
[2:05:57] that, day after day.
[2:05:59] Never waking up, never taking care of
[2:06:01] ourselves, never going after the things
[2:06:03] we want.
[2:06:07] That's what we do.
[2:06:09] Oh, this is terrible.
[2:06:12] I apologize.
[2:06:15] What to do? You push a button, you get
[2:06:17] what you get. Nothing I can do about it.
[2:06:20] Yeah.
[2:06:24] Oh, wait. Wait. You don't have the
[2:06:25] microphone. You can't talk.
[2:06:26] >> The mic happens to be here.
[2:06:28] You'll get it, okay?
[2:06:30] Just wait your turn. Okay.
[2:06:33] Where's the mic?
[2:06:34] Ah.
[2:06:35] Hello. Hi.
[2:06:36] Um
[2:06:37] could you speak a bit more about
[2:06:40] the context when Maharaji shared courage
[2:06:44] is a real big thing?
[2:06:45] >> just say one thing about that whole rant
[2:06:47] I just did.
[2:06:49] Even all through that,
[2:06:53] the longing
[2:06:55] to be in his presence
[2:06:57] was fiercely, deeply
[2:07:01] intense.
[2:07:02] It never went away for a second.
[2:07:05] So,
[2:07:08] I'm just saying it's not like I was just
[2:07:10] sitting around [ __ ] off.
[2:07:12] I was burning
[2:07:14] with longing.
[2:07:16] And he came.
[2:07:19] Okay?
[2:07:22] Yeah.
[2:07:24] Um you
[2:07:26] have been sharing Maharaji saying
[2:07:29] courage is a real big thing.
[2:07:33] Can you talk a bit more about that? What
[2:07:35] don't you understand?
[2:07:38] What what's what's I mean if there's a
[2:07:41] simple statement, that's it.
[2:07:44] You know, when he said that to me, the
[2:07:46] Indian guy said, "Oh, Baba, God takes
[2:07:48] care of his devotees."
[2:07:51] Courage is a really big thing. Sometimes
[2:07:53] it's all you you had just have to go for
[2:07:55] it. Okay. How did you
[2:07:58] collect it and
[2:08:01] just
[2:08:05] How did you take the leap?
[2:08:07] I didn't, you know. Every time I was
[2:08:10] just about to step off the cliff, he
[2:08:11] he'd move the cliff.
[2:08:14] You know, but I was
[2:08:15] what could I do? I was just [ __ ] up
[2:08:17] day after day after day. Every time I
[2:08:19] [ __ ] up, he unfuck it.
[2:08:22] But you just got to go [ __ ] up. You
[2:08:24] can't do anything else.
[2:08:27] You want it, go for it.
[2:08:29] That's the thing.
[2:08:30] One of the things that happened was the
[2:08:32] the when I was with that young Baba, the
[2:08:35] 163-year-old guy.
[2:08:39] One day he looked at me and he said
[2:08:42] he made this face and he goes
[2:08:45] you have to develop willpower.
[2:08:47] And I thought to myself, willpower? What
[2:08:50] do I need that for? Then he made a
[2:08:52] bigger face
[2:08:54] cuz he heard he knew my thought he
[2:08:55] heard. And then he did something
[2:08:58] and he showed me
[2:09:00] what he was seeing in me.
[2:09:02] And then I made a face
[2:09:04] because I saw me and I wasn't doing
[2:09:07] anything. I wasn't going after the
[2:09:08] things I wanted
[2:09:10] in life.
[2:09:14] I was just floating.
[2:09:16] And then I saw this just my life, you
[2:09:19] know, this not like
[2:09:20] worldly life and spiritual life. This
[2:09:22] just me and I'm not doing [ __ ] How do I
[2:09:24] expect something to happen in this world
[2:09:27] if it's not happening
[2:09:28] if I'm not going after stuff.
[2:09:30] And I thought, you know
[2:09:33] willpower, you want something
[2:09:35] you want the ice cream in the freezer.
[2:09:37] So your hand, your arm, your will picks
[2:09:40] up your arm, you open the door, you take
[2:09:42] the ice cream and you throw it in your
[2:09:43] face, you know.
[2:09:46] You desire
[2:09:47] and the will, the word for which
[2:09:49] willpower is icchā śakti,
[2:09:52] the power to realize your desires.
[2:09:55] So why wouldn't you do that?
[2:09:59] Courage, you need courage.
[2:10:02] That's what he was telling me. I wasn't
[2:10:03] doing it.
[2:10:05] And that's what he said, you need
[2:10:07] courage to go after the things you want.
[2:10:11] Nobody can do it for you.
[2:10:14] That's the good news and bad news.
[2:10:21] Get that guy in the back before he has a
[2:10:23] conniption.
[2:10:27] Can What a word is conniption, right?
[2:10:29] That's a great word.
[2:10:30] I haven't heard that since I said it
[2:10:32] last time, 40 years ago.
[2:10:35] Hi.
[2:10:39] Hello. My name is
[2:10:42] Yeah.
[2:10:43] My name is Yianni L
[2:10:46] and Just a little closer. That's all.
[2:10:48] >> no.
[2:10:50] And I want to ask for a moment of
[2:10:53] silence
[2:10:55] for 250 people who just got killed in
[2:11:00] Israel in the last day,
[2:11:03] 1,500
[2:11:04] wounded from the attacks of the Hamas.
[2:11:09] Not only in Israel, all over the world
[2:11:12] people get wounded, people get killed.
[2:11:16] So, I would ask for a moment of silence
[2:11:20] for their memory. Thank you.
[2:11:23] Okay.
[2:12:51] >> Hi Katie. Um
[2:12:54] I've been uh
[2:12:56] listening to you since COVID and you've
[2:12:59] brought me a lot of comfort particularly
[2:13:02] your personal stories as I feel like I
[2:13:05] really relate to some of the despair and
[2:13:08] uh
[2:13:11] difficulty that you've had um
[2:13:15] bringing yourself into a space of more
[2:13:17] peace and awareness.
[2:13:19] And um
[2:13:21] yeah, I think I was just
[2:13:24] wanted to ask if you other than chanting
[2:13:27] the name
[2:13:28] if you have any other
[2:13:30] suggestions for someone who's working as
[2:13:33] actively as possible to develop more of
[2:13:36] that kind of awareness.
[2:13:38] Thanks.
[2:14:06] You just follow your heart as best you
[2:14:07] can
[2:14:09] to lead you
[2:14:11] back to yourself.
[2:14:15] Maharaji never encouraged us to do
[2:14:17] practice for our own sake.
[2:14:21] He never encouraged us to do practice at
[2:14:22] all.
[2:14:24] He said
[2:14:26] we asked him, "How do you find God?" He
[2:14:27] said, "Serve people."
[2:14:30] What?
[2:14:31] How do you raise kundalini? Feed people.
[2:14:34] What?
[2:14:37] He never encouraged us to think about
[2:14:39] ourselves.
[2:14:40] But all we do
[2:14:42] is think about ourselves.
[2:14:46] So,
[2:14:47] don't.
[2:14:50] How not? Well, that's where practice
[2:14:52] comes in.
[2:14:56] All we do is think about ourselves all
[2:14:58] life long.
[2:15:00] And then
[2:15:01] we dream about ourselves.
[2:15:03] Then we take another body and do it
[2:15:04] again.
[2:15:08] So, now we're here, we have some idea
[2:15:12] of what we're doing to ourselves.
[2:15:15] So, let's do something else.
[2:15:18] Let's look into this a little bit.
[2:15:23] How do you want to go through your life?
[2:15:24] How do you What do you want to feel?
[2:15:28] And how to overcome all the things that
[2:15:30] prevent us from having that love and
[2:15:32] living in that love.
[2:15:35] If we don't do it, it's not going to
[2:15:36] happen.
[2:15:38] It's not like you have to manufacture
[2:15:40] the love. The love is always here. We
[2:15:42] just have to stop turning away from it.
[2:15:47] We have to look towards it.
[2:15:50] And it's inside already.
[2:15:54] But it's all the stories,
[2:15:56] all that stuff we cover it up with,
[2:15:59] which we believe totally, much more than
[2:16:01] we believe the love is there. We believe
[2:16:03] all the stories, which is why And never
[2:16:05] get underneath them, why we can't let
[2:16:07] go.
[2:16:08] So, when you're chanting,
[2:16:10] you're asked to do one thing, chant.
[2:16:14] You can't.
[2:16:15] You're thinking about this. You're
[2:16:16] thinking about that. Oh, say, then you
[2:16:18] come back for a millisecond. Then you're
[2:16:20] gone again.
[2:16:21] Then you come back for a millisecond.
[2:16:23] Then you're gone again.
[2:16:24] Then a week later you come back for a
[2:16:26] millisecond. Then you're gone again.
[2:16:28] Every time you come back, the neural
[2:16:30] pathways in the brain get a little
[2:16:31] deeper.
[2:16:33] And theoretically, it gets a little
[2:16:34] easier.
[2:16:36] You just keep coming back again and
[2:16:38] again, and little by little
[2:16:40] we get more familiar with what it means
[2:16:42] to be here.
[2:16:44] And then we look out at the world and we
[2:16:47] see other people.
[2:16:50] And um
[2:16:52] we see how hard it is for me to get this
[2:16:55] together. How hard it must be for them.
[2:16:58] And then you start to feel some kindness
[2:17:00] and compassion for others.
[2:17:02] And then you're thinking about yourself
[2:17:03] less, so you feel better.
[2:17:06] And it's a cycle.
[2:17:09] And then it becomes easier to help other
[2:17:11] people
[2:17:12] because you're thinking about them and
[2:17:14] not yourself.
[2:17:18] And you see what people do to
[2:17:19] themselves.
[2:17:21] You don't see that until you see what
[2:17:22] you do to yourself.
[2:17:26] So,
[2:17:29] little by little.
[2:17:48] Ram Dass used to say how the stroke
[2:17:50] saved him.
[2:17:52] You know,
[2:17:53] very hard.
[2:17:55] He suffered terribly. He never
[2:17:56] complained.
[2:17:58] But he used to say how the stroke saved
[2:18:00] him. He had this core
[2:18:03] of stuff he just could not get to.
[2:18:06] And it was pushing him around
[2:18:09] and keeping him
[2:18:14] in not the best place.
[2:18:17] But when he had the stroke,
[2:18:19] he had no option. There was no escape.
[2:18:23] It was over. The door was closed.
[2:18:26] He He was He couldn't do anything for
[2:18:29] himself.
[2:18:30] He couldn't eat. He couldn't
[2:18:33] Yeah, he couldn't turn himself in bed
[2:18:35] anymore. He couldn't get from the chair
[2:18:36] to the wheelchair. Couldn't wipe his own
[2:18:39] ass. He couldn't do anything. He had to
[2:18:41] surrender again and again, more and
[2:18:44] more. And he kept surrendering
[2:18:48] and he found Maharaj-ji.
[2:18:51] Without the stroke, that wouldn't have
[2:18:53] happened for him.
[2:18:55] And he knew it.
[2:18:57] And at first he used to say, "It was
[2:18:59] fierce grace. Maharaj-ji stroked him."
[2:19:03] But when he went to India, the only time
[2:19:05] he went after the stroke, Siddha Ma
[2:19:08] immediately said to him, "Ram Dass,
[2:19:10] Maharaj-ji didn't give you the stroke.
[2:19:13] He wouldn't ever do anything like that.
[2:19:15] The stroke is your karmas.
[2:19:19] What he gives you is the grace and the
[2:19:22] strength
[2:19:23] to overcome the effects of those
[2:19:25] karmas."
[2:19:28] And
[2:19:29] really enter into a deeper space. And he
[2:19:32] did.
[2:19:34] He was a real hero.
[2:19:59] Um
[2:20:01] >> I don't have the mic. Don't look at me.
[2:20:04] Hello. Where are you?
[2:20:06] Ah.
[2:20:07] I have a question um
[2:20:09] to you about psychedelics.
[2:20:12] Mhm. Do you believe this is an eligible
[2:20:15] tool for spiritual growth?
[2:20:20] I believe I wouldn't be here if it
[2:20:21] wasn't for psychedelics.
[2:20:24] I took peyote after my junior year in
[2:20:26] high school
[2:20:28] and it totally ruined my life.
[2:20:32] Cuz I couldn't get any more.
[2:20:34] Uh it showed me, you know, I had this I
[2:20:37] I had no doubt what I was experiencing
[2:20:40] was
[2:20:41] infinitely more real than Long Island.
[2:20:47] So, it wasn't that big a jump, you know.
[2:20:51] But, um there's no doubt that
[2:20:53] psychedelics can
[2:20:55] give you a glimpse into different
[2:20:57] dimensions.
[2:20:59] But,
[2:21:00] do they destroy
[2:21:02] the karmas that create your own
[2:21:04] suffering?
[2:21:05] I don't think so.
[2:21:08] Maharaji himself said
[2:21:11] the yogi medicine, LSD,
[2:21:13] brings you into the room with Christ.
[2:21:16] But, you can't stay.
[2:21:21] If you don't mind
[2:21:22] keep getting thrown out of it on your
[2:21:24] ass, then keep doing it.
[2:21:25] But, eventually you'll want to stay in
[2:21:27] the room.
[2:21:28] And the way to do it, he said, is love.
[2:21:32] So,
[2:21:33] he was very clear about that. He wasn't
[2:21:35] judgemental about it. In fact, he told
[2:21:37] Raghu to give it to his father
[2:21:39] when he was there.
[2:21:42] Give him a dose of the yogi medicine.
[2:21:45] And it changed his life.
[2:21:47] And
[2:21:49] you know,
[2:21:51] that's all I can say. I mean, I think
[2:21:52] it's it can be useful.
[2:21:54] It can show those of us who are totally
[2:21:57] locked into the physical, emotional,
[2:22:00] mental reality that there's other
[2:22:01] realities.
[2:22:03] But,
[2:22:04] can you stay there?
[2:22:07] I don't think so. Even if you dose
[2:22:09] yourself every day,
[2:22:11] sooner or later, you'll get your body
[2:22:13] will fall apart and that'll be that. You
[2:22:14] have to start again somewhere.
[2:22:17] So,
[2:22:18] the question is does it destroy the root
[2:22:20] of suffering? And I don't think the
[2:22:22] answer is yes. I think it's no. I don't
[2:22:25] think it does.
[2:22:26] But, that's what I know.
[2:22:28] I don't know.
[2:22:29] Ram Dass?
[2:22:33] I'm pretty sure he would agree with me.
[2:22:39] He took He was on acid when he had the
[2:22:41] stroke.
[2:22:43] And because he was on acid, he didn't
[2:22:45] realize he had a stroke.
[2:22:47] He had taken the acid and he said,
[2:22:49] "Okay, now I have to write a book on on
[2:22:50] aging. Let me
[2:22:53] Let me imagine that I'm I'm old."
[2:22:56] And he took the stroke and he was He
[2:22:58] took the acid and he was, you know, and
[2:23:01] then while he was on the acid, he he had
[2:23:02] a stroke.
[2:23:04] But, he had stopped taking his blood
[2:23:07] pressure medicine
[2:23:09] before that.
[2:23:10] So, his blood pressure went through the
[2:23:12] roof and he had a stroke.
[2:23:15] That's karma.
[2:23:18] He stopped taking the medicine. He was
[2:23:19] going to start Chinese medicine, but he
[2:23:22] never did.
[2:23:23] And the days went by.
[2:23:25] Boom. Boom. Boom.
[2:23:30] So,
[2:23:39] sometimes karmas just make us do things
[2:23:41] that
[2:23:43] we don't even realize what we're doing.
[2:23:47] Where
[2:23:48] we
[2:23:53] We think we know what we're doing.
[2:23:56] But, we don't.
[2:23:58] We don't realize
[2:23:59] the results of our actions, what they
[2:24:01] could be.
[2:24:03] Of course, how do we?
[2:24:05] But,
[2:24:12] like Maharaji said, for Yogi, no poison
[2:24:14] can affect him. He is beyond
[2:24:17] those things. He's beyond those states.
[2:24:21] Maharaji was.
[2:24:24] So, he knew what he was talking about.
[2:24:27] And that's what he said, he can bring
[2:24:29] you into the room with Christ.
[2:24:31] That sounds good. But, you can't stay.
[2:24:35] That sounds bad.
[2:24:37] If you want to stay, the way is love.
[2:24:40] That sounds good.
[2:24:42] So, that's the deal, as far as I can
[2:24:44] tell.
[2:24:53] But, I think, you know, this microdosing
[2:24:54] thing, I think it's it's probable that
[2:24:56] it can be helpful
[2:24:58] uh
[2:25:00] disentangling some of the uh
[2:25:03] the knee-jerk emotional issues that we
[2:25:06] have. Maybe it gives it can give insight
[2:25:09] into some of those things, which would
[2:25:11] free you from some of that stuff.
[2:25:13] But,
[2:25:17] but who knows in the long run what it
[2:25:21] does.
[2:25:24] I found that it crippled my will.
[2:25:29] Without realizing it, I mean, of course,
[2:25:31] I was dosing myself every day.
[2:25:35] I would take peyote all week, and then
[2:25:37] at the end in the weekends, I would hit
[2:25:39] myself with 1,000 mics of sandos acid.
[2:25:43] And just be 36 hours in bliss.
[2:25:49] And I was lying on my bed one day
[2:25:52] kind of coming back and
[2:25:54] just gazing out the window.
[2:25:58] And I felt something coming towards me.
[2:26:03] What is this?
[2:26:05] Coming closer and closer. What is this?
[2:26:09] What what what? Oh no, a thought.
[2:26:13] And then I was thinking.
[2:26:16] And then it was leaving. Don't go. Don't
[2:26:19] go. Don't
[2:26:21] Uh.
[2:26:23] And then sometime later
[2:26:28] No. No. You know, slowly
[2:26:31] more quickly
[2:26:32] and then all there was was a flow of
[2:26:34] thought again.
[2:26:36] I was back.
[2:26:38] I was down.
[2:26:41] It was amazing.
[2:26:55] Yeah.
[2:26:57] Hi Katie. Hi. I'm wearing my Foreigner
[2:26:59] shirt for you.
[2:27:01] I Want to Know What Love Is was my mom's
[2:27:03] favorite song. So when you were singing
[2:27:05] that, I love it. And I'll make this
[2:27:07] really quick. When I found it, I went
[2:27:09] into this like
[2:27:10] music store in Nyack and I had seen it
[2:27:14] somewhere else and then I saw a guitar
[2:27:17] that was named where I lived in Laurel
[2:27:19] Canyon and I had recently lost my home
[2:27:21] in Laurel Canyon to mold, which is part
[2:27:24] of where my question's going to go.
[2:27:26] Um
[2:27:27] and then the guy in the store, we
[2:27:29] somehow wound up talking and he's like
[2:27:31] did all these paintings of rock stars.
[2:27:34] And then he had like a painting of Neem
[2:27:35] Karoli Baba.
[2:27:38] So I had to go back and get the shirt
[2:27:40] of foreigner because it all linked to me
[2:27:42] that day. But, I had recently lost my
[2:27:44] home from mold, like my dream home. Oh,
[2:27:47] man. And I left, I came back um here, my
[2:27:51] dad's here. He's having health issues.
[2:27:53] Basically, my question is um
[2:27:56] I
[2:27:56] What do you do when you feel like you've
[2:27:58] lost everything? Like I've heard you
[2:28:01] describe it as it's all like burning
[2:28:02] away. It feels like that.
[2:28:05] And you're in just like an anxiety of
[2:28:08] like so much anxiety with a transition.
[2:28:11] And I do my practice, I've been chanting
[2:28:13] with you for for years every Thursday. I
[2:28:16] study yoga, I a martial artist. I I have
[2:28:19] tools, but the anxiety is like so
[2:28:21] strong. Mhm.
[2:28:24] That's if you have any advice.
[2:28:27] Yeah.
[2:28:33] There's a really interesting book by a
[2:28:35] Tibetan lama. His name is Mingyur
[2:28:37] Rinpoche.
[2:28:39] And the book is called the joy of
[2:28:42] What is it?
[2:28:44] Living?
[2:28:45] Joy of living?
[2:28:46] Yeah. Joy of living.
[2:28:48] And he he describes how as a child
[2:28:52] he was having these incredible panic
[2:28:54] attacks.
[2:28:56] Paralyzing attacks. And he was
[2:28:59] recognized as a reincarnated lama like
[2:29:02] at three
[2:29:03] and treated like a prince his whole
[2:29:05] life.
[2:29:06] But, he was having these panic attacks.
[2:29:08] And he writes very beautifully about how
[2:29:11] he worked with that, how he overcame
[2:29:14] them. And maybe I think that'll help
[2:29:15] you.
[2:29:17] Um
[2:29:20] This These There's a lot of these these
[2:29:24] those kind of
[2:29:27] those issues
[2:29:29] very deep, very hard to deal with cuz
[2:29:31] they're so
[2:29:33] knee-jerky. They don't You don't think
[2:29:35] about They hit you, you know, and
[2:29:37] how to deal with that underlying
[2:29:39] anxiety, that fear.
[2:29:42] But, um sometimes chanting and
[2:29:45] practice is not enough, you know?
[2:29:47] Sometimes you have to go talk to
[2:29:48] somebody
[2:29:49] who has a way
[2:29:50] of helping you through
[2:29:53] getting a relationship with it, getting
[2:29:55] learning about it.
[2:29:57] Finding space with it is very big thing.
[2:30:00] You know, the Lama talks about that.
[2:30:02] Very good.
[2:30:05] There's no quick button to push.
[2:30:08] This is This is this moment.
[2:30:11] And, um
[2:30:14] one of the things he says is that it
[2:30:16] wasn't so much the the panic attack
[2:30:18] itself.
[2:30:19] It was the fear about the panic attack.
[2:30:23] That was more paralyzing, in a way.
[2:30:27] So,
[2:30:28] there's a lot to be said about this, but
[2:30:30] And there are people who really deal
[2:30:31] with this thing. So, I would
[2:30:33] whatever is going to help you, go for
[2:30:34] it, you know? Don't Don't just say, "I'm
[2:30:36] a yogi. I don't do that shit." You know?
[2:30:39] The therapist can be a yogi who does
[2:30:41] that [ __ ]
[2:30:42] So, it might be good.
[2:30:46] So,
[2:30:47] you can't meditate yourself away.
[2:30:50] You know?
[2:30:51] You want to get here.
[2:30:54] And on the way here, there's all kinds
[2:30:56] of obstacles. And one of these obstacles
[2:30:58] is your anxiety.
[2:31:00] So,
[2:31:01] there's so many ways to deal with these
[2:31:03] things, but
[2:31:06] one of the Lamas I study with talks
[2:31:08] about the handshake practice.
[2:31:10] So, when you feel that anxiety coming
[2:31:12] on,
[2:31:14] you go,
[2:31:16] "Oh, hi.
[2:31:18] How you doing? I I know you, don't I?
[2:31:21] Yeah, you were here just yesterday,
[2:31:22] right? Yeah. Well,
[2:31:25] you want some tea? Come on in, you know?
[2:31:27] Have a seat. What's up? You know.
[2:31:29] And the minute you you see it,
[2:31:33] you're already, you know,
[2:31:36] not in it the same way.
[2:31:39] But it's
[2:31:42] that kind of practice, you have to be
[2:31:44] right on it, you know. Once it hits you,
[2:31:46] like anger or fear or shame, one of
[2:31:49] those when those things hit you and
[2:31:51] you're in it, there's very little you
[2:31:52] can do except suffer
[2:31:54] until it it decides to go.
[2:31:56] But if you can catch it early enough,
[2:32:00] Oh, hi. Yeah.
[2:32:02] That's you? Okay. Yeah, I know you.
[2:32:04] Yeah, you were just here. [ __ ] you. Come
[2:32:06] back, you know.
[2:32:07] Yeah, have a seat.
[2:32:09] And then you lose some of your fear
[2:32:11] about it, you know, cuz that's
[2:32:13] cuz not only are you you have the
[2:32:15] anxiety, but you have anxiety about
[2:32:17] anxiety.
[2:32:18] And that just like, you know, that's a
[2:32:20] double whammy.
[2:32:22] So.
[2:32:29] How long am I supposed to stop this
[2:32:31] torture?
[2:32:35] It's been a very unusual afternoon, I
[2:32:37] have to tell you.
[2:32:39] I'm not cranky, but I don't know what I
[2:32:40] am today, anyhow.
[2:32:42] Where's the mic?
[2:32:45] And there's another way to deal with
[2:32:47] this. Sitting in the back of the room is
[2:32:48] David Nicturn,
[2:32:50] who has a uh
[2:32:52] Dharma Moon
[2:32:54] meditation
[2:32:56] organization, and they teach and train
[2:32:59] in mindfulness and meditation.
[2:33:01] Very good organization, good practice,
[2:33:03] good teaching.
[2:33:05] And you can look that up,
[2:33:06] dharmamoon.com.
[2:33:09] And uh
[2:33:10] they know how to how to share that
[2:33:12] practice and how to open it up for you.
[2:33:16] And uh
[2:33:21] The mindfulness practice is a very
[2:33:23] powerful practice.
[2:33:25] And uh they they're very good at
[2:33:26] teaching that and sharing that. So, if
[2:33:28] you're interested in that, you can go to
[2:33:30] dharmamoon.com.
[2:33:41] Hello. Where are you? Hi. Ah, you got
[2:33:43] the mic. How did you do that?
[2:33:46] Um I have to write this down cuz I'm
[2:33:48] really nervous. You what?
[2:33:50] Um some sometimes people have come into
[2:33:54] my life
[2:33:56] if I'm doing hobbies or I'm doing my
[2:33:59] volunteer work
[2:34:01] and I start getting a feeling of
[2:34:03] insecurity.
[2:34:04] Um like this feeling that I'm going to
[2:34:06] be be replaced
[2:34:09] um for whatever the reason.
[2:34:12] Um and it's a very overwhelming feeling
[2:34:15] in real time even though I have a
[2:34:17] practice and um
[2:34:19] but it feels like I'm sinking in
[2:34:21] quicksand. It gets so
[2:34:23] overwhelming.
[2:34:25] Um and my question was when you were in
[2:34:28] the presence of Maharaj and his devotees
[2:34:31] and probably a lot of people coming and
[2:34:33] going
[2:34:35] um and searching for his attention
[2:34:39] did you ever have a insecurity like that
[2:34:42] or know of people who had insecurities
[2:34:45] like that?
[2:34:46] And if you did, what were some tools you
[2:34:49] did to overcome them?
[2:34:57] Why do you think I tell people not to
[2:34:59] quit their day jobs?
[2:35:01] I don't want any competition.
[2:35:04] They'll take my job.
[2:35:08] I I don't know why I mean I don't know
[2:35:10] how to apply that what you one part of
[2:35:14] your question to the Maharaj thing. I
[2:35:15] mean that was
[2:35:17] we weren't insecure. We would kill
[2:35:19] anybody who got between us and his feet.
[2:35:22] I mean, you know,
[2:35:24] fighting, you know, to get there.
[2:35:26] But, that wasn't insecurity. That was
[2:35:28] just
[2:35:29] lust.
[2:35:31] Lust for the feet.
[2:35:35] Of the guru.
[2:35:38] And he would just laugh. He would say,
[2:35:39] he'd say, "I have the keys to the mind.
[2:35:43] I could turn your minds against me."
[2:35:46] No, don't do that, you know.
[2:35:48] He'd say, "I'll transfer you."
[2:35:50] Transfer ho jayega. No, Baba, don't do
[2:35:52] that. He would laugh.
[2:35:54] But, he did. He transferred every single
[2:35:56] one of us.
[2:35:57] Back to America. Wherever we came from.
[2:36:02] What to do?
[2:36:04] Um
[2:36:06] I I don't know what that has to do with
[2:36:07] job security.
[2:36:09] You know, I'm not quite getting that
[2:36:11] com- that connection.
[2:36:13] You want to help me with that?
[2:36:18] It's just a feeling that somebody comes
[2:36:20] along who might be better
[2:36:23] Uh-huh. smarter than me. Mhm.
[2:36:26] Um
[2:36:27] in my heart it it happens in things that
[2:36:30] I like to do.
[2:36:32] >> Mhm.
[2:36:32] >> Like I like to go scuba diving. And
[2:36:34] there are other people that come along.
[2:36:37] There's not enough water? There's
[2:36:40] water, exactly.
[2:36:42] Um or it's in my I do a lot of volunteer
[2:36:46] work that is There's always somebody to
[2:36:48] help. Don't worry about it.
[2:36:51] You can help me.
[2:36:52] I need help.
[2:36:55] I just I feel
[2:36:58] I feel replaced. I feel like somebody
[2:37:01] comes along and that spotlight is on
[2:37:05] them.
[2:37:06] And
[2:37:08] I don't find where I fit anymore.
[2:37:13] And
[2:37:15] it makes me avoid doing the things that
[2:37:19] I love to do and makes me avoid doing
[2:37:21] service work because I certainly don't
[2:37:23] want to do service work if it
[2:37:27] brings harm or bring if I bring such a
[2:37:31] thing to serving people. I don't want to
[2:37:34] do that.
[2:37:35] >> Mhm.
[2:37:37] Um
[2:37:41] and I don't
[2:37:43] I I don't know how to overcome it.
[2:38:11] You know, I I really don't know what to
[2:38:13] tell you.
[2:38:14] I mean, I
[2:38:16] other than the usual thing, you got to
[2:38:18] have courage. If you don't do what you
[2:38:20] don't want If you don't do what you want
[2:38:21] to do, then what, you know?
[2:38:24] But there's something in in you that's
[2:38:26] giving you a hard time. It's not from
[2:38:27] the outside.
[2:38:29] It's you know, some version of yourself
[2:38:31] that you don't like.
[2:38:33] Um
[2:38:45] You know,
[2:38:46] maybe when you get fed up enough with
[2:38:48] yourself, you'll just go out and say,
[2:38:50] "Fuck it. I'm going to do what I want."
[2:38:53] You know?
[2:38:54] Just get more fed up. Don't do anything
[2:38:56] for a long time
[2:38:57] until you just burning with getting out
[2:39:00] there to help somebody. Well, I started
[2:39:01] doing my own outreach Uh-huh. because I
[2:39:05] couldn't Mhm. I couldn't feel like I was
[2:39:08] in competition anymore. Mhm. So, I did
[2:39:11] my own thing because I couldn't go
[2:39:14] a week without doing something, serving,
[2:39:17] and connecting with people.
[2:39:20] Yeah.
[2:39:23] When I first started singing, um years
[2:39:24] ago,
[2:39:25] we would have
[2:39:28] what we call the Kirtan Walla Wars.
[2:39:31] You know, everybody was trying to shine
[2:39:34] brighter than the next person behind
[2:39:37] them. It was terrible.
[2:39:39] But you just keep singing, it all goes
[2:39:40] away.
[2:39:42] You know.
[2:39:43] Um
[2:39:52] Yeah.
[2:39:56] We all do so much damage to ourselves,
[2:39:59] you know, all of us.
[2:40:00] None of us really
[2:40:04] are shining as much as we really could
[2:40:06] shine.
[2:40:07] There are so many reasons. Everybody has
[2:40:09] reasons not to shine.
[2:40:11] In a good way shine, you know, for our
[2:40:13] own self, really.
[2:40:15] Our own doubts about ourselves, our own
[2:40:17] fears.
[2:40:20] Makes us human.
[2:40:22] No big deal.
[2:40:24] You know.
[2:40:25] But you know.
[2:40:31] Just
[2:40:32] really try to listen to yourself
[2:40:34] underneath all that stuff, what you what
[2:40:36] you need to do.
[2:40:38] You know.
[2:40:40] Nobody can tell you what's in your
[2:40:41] heart.
[2:40:43] But you have to kind of find that
[2:40:46] place where you it's just you, and then
[2:40:49] you don't care about what anybody says
[2:40:51] or how they are.
[2:40:52] You're doing what you have to do.
[2:40:55] Whatever that is. If it means you have
[2:40:56] to go do your own thing, then do your
[2:40:58] own thing.
[2:41:00] But
[2:41:01] at the same time, do we want to be
[2:41:03] pushed around by our stuff all the time,
[2:41:05] you know, and never
[2:41:08] get free of that?
[2:41:10] So, it's
[2:41:12] just keep calming yourself down if you
[2:41:14] can, you know, just
[2:41:15] you don't have to do like
[2:41:17] practice, just like chill. Just let
[2:41:20] everything just go.
[2:41:23] Just see who you are, see what you want.
[2:41:27] And you're writing your life now.
[2:41:30] Nobody's not
[2:41:31] Every day is new. Every moment is new.
[2:41:34] You're free to do what you want.
[2:41:36] So, you got to find out what that is.
[2:41:39] And how you want it to do.
[2:41:53] Of course, on the other hand, it's all
[2:41:54] written
[2:41:55] already.
[2:41:57] So, just depends how you look at it.
[2:42:09] There are people who don't like me.
[2:42:10] Believe it or not.
[2:42:13] Can you [ __ ] believe it?
[2:42:18] I don't give a [ __ ]
[2:42:20] So,
[2:42:21] them.
[2:42:22] You know.
[2:42:24] So, good.
[2:42:25] Knock yourself out. You know. Who cares?
[2:42:43] Hello. You What? Where are you? How are
[2:42:46] you?
[2:42:48] Uh
[2:42:48] I I have
[2:42:50] It's okay. So, so I think you said three
[2:42:53] things.
[2:42:54] You said you have to have courage to go
[2:42:56] after what you want. Mhm.
[2:42:59] Don't think about yourself and serve
[2:43:01] others. Mhm. And also, you don't do
[2:43:04] anything, God does everything. Every one
[2:43:06] of those things is true.
[2:43:09] Good luck. How How do you
[2:43:12] How How do you reconcile those three
[2:43:13] things?
[2:43:14] >> You don't. You just go ahead.
[2:43:20] Yeah, I mean
[2:43:27] Those are different levels.
[2:43:29] They don't reconcile on this level.
[2:43:32] On one level
[2:43:34] there's no one
[2:43:35] nothing ever happened, nothing ever will
[2:43:37] happen, it's all one, period. There's
[2:43:39] nobody, nothing.
[2:43:41] And that's true.
[2:43:42] Then there's other levels where you
[2:43:44] think you are who you think you are, and
[2:43:46] that person has a lot to do.
[2:43:49] Then there's another level where
[2:43:50] everything's already done.
[2:43:52] And you're just following the script
[2:43:54] blindly, but you think you're doing it.
[2:43:57] Each level has its own relative reality.
[2:44:00] And they're true.
[2:44:02] But you can't up-level in your mind.
[2:44:06] You think you are who you think you are
[2:44:09] right now.
[2:44:10] That's who you think you are.
[2:44:13] So, that's the level of reality
[2:44:15] we're stuck in.
[2:44:17] On that level, we make decisions, we
[2:44:20] need courage, we know all kinds of
[2:44:22] things, we need food, we need sleep, we
[2:44:23] need shelter, we need all kinds of
[2:44:25] things on that level.
[2:44:27] Definitely need them, without those
[2:44:28] things we die.
[2:44:29] So, that's true.
[2:44:32] But on another level
[2:44:34] which is also
[2:44:36] a a different level of reality
[2:44:39] you are not who you think you are.
[2:44:42] Not even close.
[2:44:44] There's no thought whatsoever. You are
[2:44:45] soul.
[2:44:47] You're a being.
[2:44:49] You
[2:44:50] You know, there's it's a whole other
[2:44:52] level of reality, but that's not where
[2:44:53] we live. So, on the level you live on,
[2:44:56] where we live on, we have
[2:44:59] things we need to do.
[2:45:00] Things need to be taken care of.
[2:45:02] You need to breathe, for instance.
[2:45:05] Try living without breathing, very
[2:45:07] difficult.
[2:45:10] Or eating, or sleeping, or doing various
[2:45:13] other bodily functions, with or without
[2:45:15] other people.
[2:45:17] Difficult. So, according to this world,
[2:45:20] the world that we live in, who we think
[2:45:22] we are, there's things we need to do.
[2:45:25] One of those things is to have courage
[2:45:27] and go for what we want in our hearts,
[2:45:30] because no one else will give it to us
[2:45:31] if we don't go for it.
[2:45:35] That's the basics of our daily life.
[2:45:40] And
[2:45:42] base But did Maharajji, who seemed to be
[2:45:46] living on the same world as us, he was
[2:45:49] in a physical body,
[2:45:51] I saw him eat,
[2:45:53] etc.
[2:45:55] But was he living in the same world as I
[2:45:57] was living? No.
[2:45:59] Not even close.
[2:46:01] But he could be here,
[2:46:03] but his reality was completely
[2:46:05] different.
[2:46:06] Also true for that reality. In a sense,
[2:46:09] it's more true than this one, but this
[2:46:11] is the one we're stuck in. This is the
[2:46:13] bandwidth we're stuck in.
[2:46:15] In this bandwidth, we have to act a
[2:46:16] certain way. You have to stop at the red
[2:46:18] and go at the green,
[2:46:20] or you're history.
[2:46:22] So, you have to learn the rules of of
[2:46:24] engagement here.
[2:46:26] How to do it the best way.
[2:46:29] So.
[2:46:32] But you can't sit here and say it's all
[2:46:34] done, there's nothing to do. Then you
[2:46:36] starve to death.
[2:46:38] Right?
[2:46:39] You you you you could say that to
[2:46:41] yourself, but your body will tell you
[2:46:42] that you better go eat something. So,
[2:46:44] you're forced to action. We're impelled
[2:46:47] to do certain things by our hormones, by
[2:46:49] our bodies, by our emotions and our
[2:46:51] thoughts.
[2:46:52] That's this world.
[2:46:55] There's nothing wrong with it.
[2:46:57] It's not ultimate reality, but it's
[2:46:58] where we are.
[2:47:00] So, we have to learn how to navigate
[2:47:01] this in the best way possible.
[2:47:05] Which will ultimately lead us
[2:47:07] to real love and real truth.
[2:47:12] So.
[2:47:22] Yeah, you don't tell people, "Oh, your
[2:47:25] suffering's not real." You know, you
[2:47:27] know, that's No, that's not It's real.
[2:47:30] It may not be
[2:47:34] true.
[2:47:35] Like one teacher of mine who said he was
[2:47:38] in a plane on the way to Kathmandu from
[2:47:39] Delhi, and it flies in these valleys,
[2:47:42] right? You know, like seems to be inches
[2:47:44] away from the mountains or the wing
[2:47:46] touch. And he was paralyzed with fear.
[2:47:49] And he realized, "Wait a minute, the
[2:47:50] fear is real. I'm feeling it,
[2:47:54] but is it true?"
[2:47:55] I mean, did we Are we going to hit the
[2:47:57] plane? No.
[2:47:59] So, there's two things. There's real,
[2:48:01] that's who you think you are, and then
[2:48:03] there's true, which is who you really
[2:48:04] are, which we don't know.
[2:48:07] But we have to honor the feeling of the
[2:48:09] real feelings we have.
[2:48:12] Is it in this moment that's who we are.
[2:48:23] Deep.
[2:48:25] Hi.
[2:48:28] Where?
[2:48:30] Going back to this idea of attachment,
[2:48:32] >> Wait, jump up and down. I don't know
[2:48:34] where you are. Oh, back there. Okay, hi.
[2:48:36] Hi. Okay, you can sit down now. Thank
[2:48:38] you.
[2:48:39] Uh going back to this idea of
[2:48:41] attachment, when we fall in love with
[2:48:44] like one person and not another, and
[2:48:46] like that's very real experience. So,
[2:48:49] what is that?
[2:48:50] Good question.
[2:48:52] You know, one time I
[2:48:54] I was
[2:48:55] I don't know if I was there or if I
[2:48:56] heard it. Maharaj was sitting with some
[2:48:58] of his old devotees,
[2:49:00] and there was one guy there who was
[2:49:01] absolutely the sweetest man that I ever
[2:49:04] met in my life. Just
[2:49:07] extraordinary. And he turned to him and
[2:49:09] he pointed to him and said,
[2:49:11] "He was my enemy in our last life."
[2:49:15] So, we're attracted to people.
[2:49:17] We don't know why.
[2:49:20] One time this this um
[2:49:25] this Buddhist master came out of the
[2:49:27] jungle with some of his disciples
[2:49:30] to beg for food. That's what they did
[2:49:33] once a day.
[2:49:34] And they're approaching this village,
[2:49:37] and they they stop, and the master
[2:49:39] smiles.
[2:49:41] And his disciple says, "Oh, great one,
[2:49:44] a master doesn't smile without a cause.
[2:49:47] What is the cause of that smile?" That's
[2:49:48] the way Buddhists talk.
[2:49:51] Thousands of years ago.
[2:49:54] He says, "What is the cause of this
[2:49:56] smile?" And so, the master points to
[2:49:58] this He says, "See there? What do you
[2:50:01] see?"
[2:50:02] And the guy says, "Well, I see this hut,
[2:50:05] and there's this young woman sitting out
[2:50:07] in front of the hut nursing her baby,
[2:50:10] and she's holding a piece of meat, and
[2:50:12] she's kicking the dog to keep him away
[2:50:14] from the meat."
[2:50:15] And he said, "Just so. Just so. She's
[2:50:19] nursing her enemy, eating her
[2:50:21] ex-husband, and kicking her former child
[2:50:23] to keep him away from the meat."
[2:50:27] Right?
[2:50:29] The person you're attracted to could
[2:50:31] have been somebody that you wanted to
[2:50:32] [ __ ] kill last life, you know? And
[2:50:35] then you tripped over him in this life,
[2:50:37] and you go, "Oh, hi. Yeah,
[2:50:39] you."
[2:50:41] And that's what we call love.
[2:50:43] Terrific.
[2:50:47] You never know. You just never know. So,
[2:50:50] you have to pay some attention, you
[2:50:52] know. But,
[2:50:54] it's beyond our pay grade. We just do
[2:50:56] the best we can.
[2:51:02] Well, it's 5:36.
[2:51:05] We were supposed to stop at 5:30.
[2:51:08] So, any more questions?
[2:51:13] No more Indian people.
[2:51:17] They ask all these long questions.
[2:51:24] Okay. Wait. Wait. Hold it. The My
[2:51:25] Where's the mic?
[2:51:27] Okay.
[2:51:28] We're coming there.
[2:51:29] Go ahead.
[2:51:31] Yeah, so
[2:51:32] I had this experience 2 years ago
[2:51:35] where I was like at my lowest point in
[2:51:37] life, and I felt like I was
[2:51:39] The only way I can describe it is I was
[2:51:40] saved by God, and I felt And I'm not
[2:51:43] really religious, but I felt this God
[2:51:45] isn't religious, either. Don't worry.
[2:51:46] >> Yeah. I felt that truth, where for the
[2:51:49] first time I just truly realized I am
[2:51:51] God, and God is love, and I am that
[2:51:53] love.
[2:51:54] And it's It's like I was in another
[2:51:57] dimension. I know knew that so truly,
[2:51:59] even though before that I was associated
[2:52:00] with God with religion, and I would like
[2:52:02] didn't want to
[2:52:03] touch that. Mhm. And that led me on a
[2:52:05] spiritual journey over the last 2 years,
[2:52:07] and
[2:52:08] really opened my heart and my mind.
[2:52:10] Um
[2:52:11] and
[2:52:12] but I I've never felt to that same level
[2:52:14] of depth I felt in that moment. You
[2:52:16] know, I can talk about it. I can
[2:52:18] share this experience, and I can
[2:52:20] >> memory now. Yeah, exactly. That's the
[2:52:22] way it works. But, the question I have
[2:52:24] is like how do I stay there, and You
[2:52:26] don't. You didn't do it in the first
[2:52:27] place. You think now you're going to do
[2:52:29] it again?
[2:52:31] It was a gift.
[2:52:32] Enjoy it.
[2:52:34] Do the best you can to live according to
[2:52:36] that, but
[2:52:37] yeah, those those hits we get we get for
[2:52:40] a reason, but they don't stay.
[2:52:42] They don't stay.
[2:52:44] You can't You didn't do it in the first
[2:52:46] place. Now, what are you going to How
[2:52:47] are you going to How are you going to do
[2:52:48] it now?
[2:52:49] Just surrender. That's what it's called.
[2:52:52] Give up. Just be with it. Enjoy.
[2:52:57] Try to
[2:53:00] st
[2:53:01] stay in contact with it as much as you
[2:53:03] can. But, you you know, don't try too
[2:53:06] hard. That'll just [ __ ] it up.
[2:53:09] Just be you. Live.
[2:53:11] Already your path is different because
[2:53:13] of that.
[2:53:15] Your life changed because of that. So,
[2:53:16] what? What do you want to do?
[2:53:18] You're going to micro micro this and
[2:53:20] that. I'm going to go and then 3:38 and
[2:53:22] 42 seconds that happened and now there's
[2:53:24] 43 seconds and then and I'm going to do
[2:53:25] do do do do do do.
[2:53:27] Just chill. Relax. Breathe.
[2:53:29] Live. Be happy.
[2:53:31] Or not.
[2:53:34] There's nothing to do.
[2:53:36] You didn't do anything to make it happen
[2:53:37] the first time. What do you think you
[2:53:39] can do now?
[2:53:42] Right?
[2:53:43] Except take it easy.
[2:53:46] Is that hard? Yes.
[2:53:49] But,
[2:53:50] good luck.
[2:53:55] Give the mic to somebody else, please.
[2:54:02] What's the other There was Indian people
[2:54:04] over there. Those Indian people.
[2:54:08] Hindustani little coffee vodka thing.
[2:54:14] Um I have a request, not a question.
[2:54:17] Uh I'm here with my husband and my
[2:54:18] 4-year-old son who has been very well
[2:54:21] behaved throughout this session.
[2:54:22] That's because I promised him that this
[2:54:25] he's going to see Hanuman Dada here and
[2:54:27] you're going to sing. Oh. But he was
[2:54:29] turning impatient. He came all the way
[2:54:30] here that why is he not singing? So
[2:54:33] could you please tell him that you're
[2:54:34] going to sing and that I was not lying
[2:54:37] to him.
[2:54:41] Hi.
[2:54:44] Somewhere
[2:54:46] over the rainbow. I just think
[2:54:49] um
[2:54:51] Boy, what pressure.
[2:54:54] You're not coming tonight?
[2:54:56] He's He's too late. Aw, poor baby. It's
[2:54:59] too late for him tonight, huh?
[2:55:02] Okay, he doesn't like attention. So if I
[2:55:05] got that feeling.
[2:55:08] But I No, you
[2:55:10] You go go take care of your son.
[2:55:12] >> Yeah, thank you.
[2:55:22] Oh, boy.
[2:55:25] Don't you feel it? It's brutal.
[2:55:30] Oh.
[2:55:32] If we could only cry like that for for
[2:55:34] love, we don't would be enlightened.
[2:55:41] But we're too cool.
[2:55:43] What to do?
[2:55:45] Okay, just a couple more.
[2:55:49] Okay.
[2:55:52] Hi Katie. Mhm.
[2:55:54] Um
[2:55:57] You said uh today that it took you 21
[2:55:59] years from you had that thought of I'll
[2:56:02] sing you
[2:56:04] with people.
[2:56:06] Um
[2:56:07] and you have shared several times that
[2:56:11] in those 21 years you passed through a
[2:56:12] sort
[2:56:13] sort of dark night of the soul
[2:56:15] with addictions and hard stuff.
[2:56:18] I was wondering
[2:56:20] um I was I grew up in a Catholic, very
[2:56:23] conservative, macho, uh Latino culture
[2:56:27] where
[2:56:29] um guilt and shame and these sort of
[2:56:33] things were the daily kind of thing that
[2:56:36] we heard when we went to church, things
[2:56:38] like that.
[2:56:39] And in through the years after
[2:56:41] practicing, I keep coming back to a sort
[2:56:44] of wall
[2:56:46] into these things in daily way of living
[2:56:48] with relations, family, friends,
[2:56:51] and kind of
[2:56:53] um we just say like self-sabotaging
[2:56:55] myself and going into these back loop
[2:56:58] loops of guilt and
[2:57:01] shame.
[2:57:01] Um
[2:57:02] can you tell us a little bit about your
[2:57:04] experience with these kind of situations
[2:57:08] when they are long-lasting and they just
[2:57:10] feel so hard?
[2:57:12] I I
[2:57:14] The thing is those are programs that are
[2:57:16] running and you know, they're still
[2:57:17] running in you, but you're aware of it.
[2:57:20] If you're aware of it, it's not the same
[2:57:21] as being completely stuck already.
[2:57:24] So, you just stay aware of of that and
[2:57:27] you just keep letting go of it
[2:57:29] and trying to see
[2:57:30] how you're programmed, you know, and
[2:57:33] just noticing it. You can't stop the
[2:57:35] programs from running, you can just let
[2:57:37] them run.
[2:57:38] But once you notice them, they're very
[2:57:40] different.
[2:57:41] So, you you the will doesn't There's no
[2:57:45] way to stop a thought. How do you stop
[2:57:47] it? What do you You shoot it? Where is
[2:57:48] it? You know?
[2:57:49] But you can let go.
[2:57:52] But you have to There's have to be some
[2:57:54] intention there, you know, you just
[2:57:56] don't
[2:57:57] Oh, it's just a program that's running
[2:57:59] blah blah blah. No, you have to sit with
[2:58:00] it,
[2:58:01] really see it clearly,
[2:58:04] and just
[2:58:05] give it some love. Let it go. Release
[2:58:07] it.
[2:58:08] And then see the suffering of the people
[2:58:11] who are stuck in that in your family
[2:58:13] that they have no
[2:58:15] freedom
[2:58:16] from that stuff. It runs their lives
[2:58:18] completely.
[2:58:19] And then have some gratitude that it
[2:58:21] doesn't run your life completely.
[2:58:23] And that's a good thing to do.
[2:58:26] So.
[2:58:27] Thanks.
[2:58:32] Oh.
[2:58:35] Do we have time for one more?
[2:58:37] Yeah. Okay. I'm not picking. Somebody
[2:58:40] pick. I can tell.
[2:58:45] Tell me when.
[2:58:46] Now. Okay.
[2:58:49] Who is it? Katie. Where are you? Over
[2:58:51] here.
[2:58:52] Oh, you can. Hi.
[2:58:54] Um just a question maybe for another
[2:58:56] time. You could just want to ask it
[2:58:58] since I'm here and you could just
[2:59:00] ruminate on it on any Thursday night.
[2:59:03] Let it come out.
[2:59:05] Um
[2:59:08] There's a lot of breakdown from COVID
[2:59:12] as far as hospital care
[2:59:14] and people wanting to go to work and
[2:59:16] entitlements and all kinds of
[2:59:20] things like that. But one in Washington
[2:59:22] and all of in the financial markets is
[2:59:24] AI and deep learning.
[2:59:27] Where it seems like the value is let's
[2:59:29] do it quicker, faster, better.
[2:59:32] Artificial intelligence is 8 billion
[2:59:34] times.
[2:59:36] We can do it faster. We can do our
[2:59:37] homework better.
[2:59:38] It's a It's a real um
[2:59:43] Just I feel it everywhere. I hear it all
[2:59:44] the time. Like more money faster and
[2:59:48] I think when I heard uh 60 Minutes or
[2:59:50] Frontline said that the deep learning
[2:59:52] machines now are capable
[2:59:55] of not only
[2:59:56] inventing eight eight chess games that
[2:59:58] have never been played
[3:00:01] or won,
[3:00:03] but they actually can
[3:00:06] figure out what computer parts they need
[3:00:08] to make them even faster and stronger
[3:00:10] and and powerful.
[3:00:12] And it scares the
[3:00:14] [ __ ] I mean it's just it's really scary.
[3:00:17] That that now we'll have like biotic
[3:00:20] parts and blah blah blah.
[3:00:22] And so just as a future
[3:00:25] question not even to be answered now.
[3:00:27] I actually prefer you not to.
[3:00:29] Just to sit on it cuz you're you are
[3:00:31] wise when you when you ruminate on
[3:00:33] things it really
[3:00:35] Is there
[3:00:36] Not that you have an answer but the only
[3:00:38] thing I can do is go to temple.
[3:00:40] And in temple
[3:00:42] it's not as important to me AI and how
[3:00:45] the world's going to be changing.
[3:00:48] With machines and then they can make
[3:00:50] their own parts and then become deep
[3:00:51] learning become self-
[3:00:54] maintaining.
[3:00:56] Like uh
[3:00:56] I forget the term it whatever. Very
[3:00:58] scary and and I'm wondering
[3:01:02] In Kali Yuga it's like Kali really bad
[3:01:04] Kali Yuga AI Kali Yuga deep learning
[3:01:06] Kali Yuga for the dark side.
[3:01:09] It's very it's very scary because I've
[3:01:11] already seen at the hospitals the
[3:01:12] breakdown.
[3:01:14] If they can't Okay. All right.
[3:01:18] Um
[3:01:30] It's not my world to run.
[3:01:34] All I can do is do the best I can every
[3:01:36] day
[3:01:38] with everything that I come in contact
[3:01:40] with.
[3:01:42] Uh if the world's going to go to hell
[3:01:44] what am I going to do about it? The
[3:01:45] question was do we have practice to
[3:01:49] I can't hear you.
[3:01:51] Yes. Yes. Okay. The question is
[3:01:55] It's not my I don't want to be part of
[3:01:56] that world. I'm I'd rather stay home
[3:01:58] watch TV. Mhm. Yeah. Be by myself which
[3:02:01] is not good either. So
[3:02:03] Is there a practice we can do just to
[3:02:06] help I don't know.
[3:02:07] Is I go to temple and I take refuge in
[3:02:10] the temple and I go home and then face
[3:02:11] it again, back and forth. It's good.
[3:02:14] It's good you got some time off from
[3:02:15] your head. Exactly. So, it just just
[3:02:18] food for thought.
[3:02:20] Just to ruminate on it.
[3:02:22] Yeah, I know. That's
[3:02:23] you we just we're all doing the best we
[3:02:25] can.
[3:02:27] There's a lot of people who for whom
[3:02:29] that means uh
[3:02:31] taking advantage of everything, you
[3:02:32] know.
[3:02:33] And hurting as many as people they can.
[3:02:36] What are we going to do?
[3:02:37] Just do the best we can
[3:02:39] and hopefully that spreads
[3:02:41] from one person to another. Best we can.
[3:02:44] Uh
[3:02:49] Where the world's going is above my pay
[3:02:51] grade.
[3:02:53] I'm trying to figure out how I can get
[3:02:54] to the bathroom now before I pee in my
[3:02:56] pants.
[3:03:00] Can we say goodnight? Goodnight.
[3:03:20] That was fun.